Life in the Friend Zone

Chapter 14-Big news

"I'm not nervous," I lied.

"Mhmm," Kylie replied, not sounding convinced at all. Well, that was one of the down sides of having a sister; she knew me too well. "Sis, I know you, and I know that you're sitting in your car right now debating on whether or not to go in and see the doctor."

"Kylie..."

"I'm right, aren't I? Emily, you have to know for sure. And if you are pregnant, then honey you need to start taking better care of yourself."

"Okay," I sighed, "I've gotta go sweetie, I love you."

"Love you too sis! I can't wait to be an aunty!" she laughed and hung up. I couldn't help but smile despite my inner turmoil. My sister always made me feel better. I had two amazing best friends, but my sister was always the number one person I would call when there was something huge in my life.

I quickly got out of my car before I could convince myself to drive back home and bury myself in my bed. I walked as fast as I could, trying not to think too much. I wanted to know if I was indeed pregnant. I needed to know.

I was a few minutes early for my appointment, but the doctor was free so she insisted on starting our appointment right away; I really hoped I'd have a minute to catch my breath.

"Miss Taylor," the receptionist smiled up at me, "Dr. Marx is ready for you. Right this was ma'am." She led me to a room and gave me some privacy to change my clothes.

I lay down on the bed and just stared at the ceiling. I couldn't help but wish that Alex was here with me, but that was something I would have to get used to. I was going to take this on alone. I wouldn't deny him access to his baby, but he would get through my pregnancy alone, that was a sure thing.

"Hey Emily," Dr. Marx had a huge grin on her face. "I must say, I'm really happy for you dear. I couldn't wait for the day you would come to me with news of a pregnancy."

Dr. Marx was a family friend.  A trusted one. It was one of the reasons why I had the courage to actually verify my pregnancy. Seeing a familiar face had brought a sense of comfort that helped me get through the feeling of being lonely at a time like this.

"So...I really am pregnant?" it was barely a whisper, but I had no doubt doctor Marx had heard me. "Yes you are dear. You're five weeks along." she lightly squeezed my hand, "But don't worry, you're perfectly healthy and you have a great family to support you." I know she purposely didn't mention the father of the baby.

I faked a smile, trying to put on a brave face. I knew that I was going to break down, but I didn't want it to be in front of my doctor. I thanked her and she left the room giving me some privacy to change. I was given some prenatal vitamins and set a date for my next appointment.

I don't remember driving home, or how I got into the shower, but I was standing here letting the water wash away my fears and my pain. I had wanted a relationship for so long; I wanted someone to love, someone who would love me in return. I wanted the perfect life, but instead I got pregnant instead. I knew I was crying, but the water blended so well with my tears that I couldn't tell the two apart, and that along gave me comfort-I couldn't be weak in a time like this.

The ringing of my door bell jostled me out of my thoughts. I rushed out of the shower and draped a towel around my body. Gabriella ran through the door as soon as I opened it. She threw her little bag in a corner and ran back to give me a hug. "You're all wet mommy." I giggled as she held on tightly.

I tried my best to ignore Alex' presence, but I knew he was there. I set Gabriella on the couch and turned on the TV to keep her company while I changed. I walked to my closet feeling more nervous than before. I hadn't told Alex about my pregnancy and this felt like a perfect time to do it, but I had lost all my previously gained courage.