Absolute Zero (A Stiles Stilinski/Teen Wolf Fanfiction) [4]

Chapter 1 - Curadora

absolute zero (noun)-the lowest temperature that is theoretically possible, at which point the atoms of a substance transmit no thermal energy - they are completely at rest.

I'm not sure what I expected, that everything would just go back to normal? Stiles was possessed by an evil spirit, Allison is dead, and I attempted suicide in order to save her. There was no more going back to normal, or at least as normal as things get for teenagers like us.

Things aren't like the way they were before with Stiles and I. There's a cold distance now. Instead of relaxing at his touch, I cringe - at least until I can remind myself that it really is Stiles. Sometimes even then I'm still not so sure. Neither of us are the same as we were before the Nogitsune. Death is a permanent part of us now, and death changes you.

We've haven't really talked about my attempted suicide yet. I've kind of been avoiding it. I know that Stiles feels guilty and responsible for Allison's death, but I need him to understand that had I made it in time, my death wouldn't have been his fault either. Saving Allison was my decision, and it still haunts me that twenty minutes is all that kept me from bringing her back. Maybe that's why things are so distant with Stiles and I now; he knows that I was ready to leave it all behind. I was ready to leave him behind.

I've been distant with the others too. The only one who doesn't look at me like I'm some kind of ticking time bomb is Malia, and that's mostly because she doesn't know any better. It's mainly the reason I've been spending so much time with her lately. That, and I've been helping her learn to control her abilities. It's a bit nostalgic, in a way.

If only things could go back to being as simple as they were when Scott was freshly bitten and Peter was our biggest issue.

Unfortunately, that's not how life works. Hence why I'm walking in between Stiles and Lydia through a Mexican village. An old fashioned taxi drove by us as we waited to cross the dirt road. People were bustling by everywhere. It was odd to see how different life can be only a few hundred miles away.

"This doesn't seem so bad," said Stiles, bringing his hands together and looking down at Lydia and me.

"It's not the town," said Lydia. "It's the plan,"

"What's wrong with the plan?" Stiles asked.

I gave him a look. "Stiles, this could be the stupidest plan we've ever come up with. You're aware of that, right?"

He tilted his head. "I'm aware it's not our best,"

"We are going to die," said Lydia, choking out her words.

I couldn't help but feel the same way. This plan is beyond stupid. It's idiotic, reckless, completely and utterly insane. Yet, here we are...in Mexico. We have crossed into unknown territory and I really don't think we understand what we could be getting ourselves into.

"Are you saying that as a banshee, or just being pessimistic?" Stiles asked Lydia as we began walking again. A chill ran up my spine when Stiles put his hand on the small of my back.

"I'm saying it as a person who doesn't wanna die,"

"Alright, well then would you mind restricting any talk of death to actual banshee predictions?"

"This plan is stupid and we're all going to die," said Lydia, with a smile.

"Oh, thank you!" Stiles replied with his usual level of sarcasm. I at least have that to remind me that it's really him again.

"Can we at least pretend that this thing is gonna work?" I said, a plea in my voice. "Maybe remember why we're here in the first place?"

The two looked at me the way everyone's been looking at me lately, like I'm a damn grenade and they might have just pulled the pin. I'm trying to be the person that they need, to be strong and brave. It's just hard to do that when you look in the mirror and see the face of someone who shouldn't be here. I keep telling myself to have faith, that all of this is happening for a reason. But I've been telling myself that for too long. I'm not so sure I believe it anymore.