Only One- Demi Lovato and Wilmer Valderamma

4

Demi 

        We waited, for what felt like years, but in reality was only minutes. Once the door opened, I lifted my head from Wilmer's shoulder, but didn't let go of his hand, afraid I would shatter into pieces if I let go. Once look through my swollen eyes at the doctor's face and I knew. 

"I'm so sorry, we did everything we could, but we weren't able to revive him." 

The world around me seemed to slow down, as a piece of my heart splintered away. 

"Oh my God, no. Please no. Please." I whispered, my tears falling fast, "No." Wilmer's breathing hitched and broke, and I knew he too was crying, "No." I whispered again, "God please don't take him from me." 

The nurse knocked on the door and I let out a wail at the sight of the bundle in her arms. 

"I'm so sorry sweetie." She said, and handed me Luca. 

I held him tightly to my chest, tears dripped down my cheeks as I hunched over Luca, my shoulders shaking as I kissed his forehead. 

"My baby." I cooed miserably, "Please." Wilmer touched my shoulder but I jerked away from him, "NO! Don't touch me." I growled, "He can't be dead. He's my baby."

I began to cry in hysterics and I felt Wilmer lift Luca out of my arms. I watched him, look down at his son he was supposed to raise with me, and more tears fell from my eyes. 

"I always pictured this moment, for the past nine months." I whispered, "You holding your son or daughter for the first time." I closed my eyes, squeezing out more tears, "I can't believe this is happening." I said miserably. 

Wilmer leaned down and kissed Luca's forehead, then with trembling hands pulled him close, bowing his head over our son's body, "He knows we love him." 

He went to hand him back to the nurse, but I reached for him, "Please. I just... I need to say goodbye." He gave me Luca and I kissed his forehead, stroking his tiny head. Then, I handed him back to the nurse. "I don't want to see anyone." I said to Wilmer, who nodded, his eyes bloodshot from crying. "Can you come up here?" I whispered, "I need you right now." 

Wilmer nodded and stood up, laying down on the bed next to me. I closed my eyes and buried my head into his chest, letting more tears escape as he held me.

~*~

        I woke up feeling hollow, and empty, both literally and figuratively. Wilmer was still lying next to me, but I didn't feel any comfort from his embrace. I wanted to be alone, so I hit his shoulder to wake him up, He blinked open his eyes and looked around. Once his eyes met mine and registered my dead expression, his face fell. 

"It wasn't a dream." He murmured, and I shook my head. He sat up and pulled me into a hug, but I didn't squeeze him back. My arms didn't move, I didn't want to move. I just wanted my baby back. 

"You must be hungry... I'll ask your mom to get you some food. Do you want me to call anyone in?" 

I shook my head, I didn't want to see anyone. What kind of mother kills her own baby? I would be able to see the pity in their eyes, and I didn't deserve their sympathy. 

"Okay nena." He said, stroking my cheek, "I love you." I just stared at him, why is he saying he loves me? I don't deserve his love. He sighed and kissed my forehead, "I'll be right back." 

I wanted to scream after him to not come back, because I wanted to be left alone, forever. He left me alone, and that's when I really broke down. Not physically, but mentally. One the outside, I was an empty shell. The life inside of me had died with my son. On the inside, turmoil raged. 

"Demi?" My head shot up to see my mom peeking her head in, and my expression didn't change, "I know you told Wilmer not to let anyone see you, but that's exactly why I came. Baby you can't shut everyone out. If not me, let Wilmer in. He's hurting just as much as you are. You both went through a terrible thing, and need to grieve together not just as husband and wife, but also as mother and father." 

I stared blankly at the wall as she spoke. I didn't want to grieve, I wanted to pretend like this never happened. I wanted to forget, and I knew just how to do that.

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-Rachel