Pata nahi kya karu main....Jee prep is so fucked up. I solve JEE questions and think ye to easy hai then I go back to HCV , Cengage and mock test aur fir confidence ki maa chud jati hai.Confidence nahi aata hai to padhne ka man nahi karta focus nahi baitha hai .Lagta hai hona hai ki nahi hona hai wahi sochte sochte aadha time nikal jata hai.Fir Bhenchod jab padhne ki baari aati hai tab tak itni overthinking ho chuki hoti hai ki ek bhi question galat ho jae to self doubt aa jata hai.
Ek to Bachpan men padhai men accha hona alag se ek disadvantage hai .Sabko lagta hai ye ladki to jhande gaad degi , gaand faad degi ,Jabki khud uski fatti hui hoti hai.Mummy kehti hai mujhe pata hai tera aache college men ho jaega.Usse aur confidence gir jata hai lagta hai inhe mujh pe itna vishwaas hai par agar nahi hua to ? Sab toot jaega.
Paisa ek aur alag factor hota hai.Jee ki padhai sasti to hoti nahi hai , bahut paise lagte hai aur agar nahi hua to saare paise waste ! Upar se agar middle class se ho to alag hi guilt trip men chale jaate hai ye sochte sochte . Aadha darr to yahi hota hai . Kuch logon ke liye ye ek driving force ban jata par sabka Dimaag ek jaise kaam nahi karta.Kuch log is dar se , is guilt se itne underconfident ho jate hai ki bass padhai men mann hi nahi lagta fir.
Sab chahte hai ki Jee ki prep kar rahe ho to bas padhte hi raho.Jo ek movie bhi dekh li galti se to sabko lagta hai ki serious nahi ho . School wale alag BT dete hai.Chaalees Hazaar project jo chaalees rupaye men kabadi wale ko bik jaenge.Practical learning ke Naam pe project ka chutiyapa de dete hai jo koi hi khud se karke nahi aata.Practical learning ke liye lab to le nahi jaate .Lab to saal men 4 baar chale jaye to bahut badi baat lagti hai . Practical learning sikhane chale hai Jabki curriculum men practicality hai hi nahi.
Upar se boards aur JEE ek saath aur fuck ho jata hai mind . Khud Socho to boards men 80 above bhi aa jae to Achcha hai par parents ke bhi to choochle hai na 95 above ke ; wahi Bachpan men topper hone wali baat.
NTA aur board wale dono ganja Maar ke dates nikal rahe iss saal ek ek ke Baad bhendchod bacche hai ki badhua majdoor .Bas baith ke padte hi rahe aur kuch na kare life men? Logon ki relationship chal rahi hai , babu sona chal raha hai aur hamari to baat hi nahi hoti kyunki time hi nahi milta.
Gaand tak ka zor Lagane se bhi kuch logon ka nahi hota isliye nahi kyunki wo padhai men acche nahi , isliye kyunki seats badha nahi pa rahe hai ye aur Upar se General ke ho to aur Laude lage hue hai tumhare kyunki fir to milti hui seat bhi choot jaegi kyunki tumse zyada ameer pichde varg ka baccha jo aake baith jaega uspe .
Bohot frustration hai life men par ek driving force bhi hai , main khud .I wake up everyday and tell myself ki hoga .Nahi hota hai to thodi demotivation hoti hai par roz thoda thoda , baby steps lene se aasan ho jata hai.Also I have learnt to be easy on myself . I always tell myself ki nahi hua aacha to drop is always an option. Pehle bahut taboo tha but thankfully, I have got great siblings who are always there to guide me.
I have learnt ki JEE fucked up to hai par saccha pyaar bhi wohi hai aur uske pa kar hi rahungi.
Pata nahi end men kya hi kar diya par kyaa karun pyaar jo karti hun IIT se.
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RandomWell....Consider it my personal diary where I can write about literally any and everything.It can be my frustration with Jee prep or it can be how we must all have had sex with each other if the concept of aatma is true.I know this is weird and that...
