side job

6

For the last few days Jonathan had been staying at a hotel. Ted had offered to let him crash on his couch, but he thanked him and said no. He needed some space to think without any sort of bias.

Understanding the situation was so difficult. The texts Ezra had sent were wild and messy, and none of them really did any convincing for Jonathan.

They were mostly a spam of apologies and "i love you" and "please understand". As much as Jonathan wanted to just pretend this never happened and run back to Ezra and cuddle, he simply couldn't.

His mind was racing with all sorts of worried thoughts.

Is this the end?

Sighing, Jonathan grabbed his phone and decided to text Ezra. He didn't want to be anywhere near the defaced living room. All he could imagine was their two naked bodies attached on top of the couch, and that made his stomach twist in knots.

"I really don't know what to think right now. I want to pretend none of this happened and move on but my heart hurts so bad."

Shame rushed through his body, and his cheeks turned pink in embarrasment. He already regretted sending the message. It was a little surprising to see that Ezra had opened the message immediately.

Maybe this was hurting Ezra just as much. Maybe he really should give him a chance to talk and fix things.

"Baby please, let me talk to you okay? I love you so much and I really need you to give me a chance to explain. You're my whole world."

Butterflies seemed to rampage his stomach. Even in the midst of a cheating situation his heart lurched at reading those words. Jonathan was a fool in love with Ezra.

His fingers gripped the phone tigher as he felt his eyes sting with tears. Ezra seemed to type and stop, and Jonathan wished he'd just come over and hold him, convince him that this was all a very bad nightmare.

"I can't go over there. I might die if I see that couch."

Tears were running down his cheeks now. His eyes still stung and his throat felt tight, like he needed to scream but he was holding it all in.

"Where are you? I'll come over right now, baby. I love you so much. You don't understand how much you mean to me, you're my everything."

The hurt took over as he typed out the address and room number, and how there was a spare key at the front desk that was supposed to be for Ted if Jonathan had needed him.

Little cries escaped his lips, which were red and plump from Jonathan biting them. His heart ached.

Fighting for Ezra was such a tough battle. Ezra wasn't someone who dated, and Jonathan fell in love with him before Ezra had even truly considered them friends. There was a lot of heartbreak on Jonathan's end, and now he felt like it wasn't worth it.

A little click made the crying boy completely halt. The door shut very softly, and he could hear Ezra's light footsteps look for him. Once he laid eyes on Jonathan, he felt the floor and wrapped his hands around Jonathan's waist.

Ezra was between Jonathan's legs, his ribs resting against the edge of the couch and his ears lining up with Jonathan's stomach. He could hear a little grumble in his ear, and it made him whimper quietly.

"Baby you haven't eaten yet?" Ezra mumbled, his hands lightly palming Jonathan's hips.

The man couldn't help but blush. "I'm sorry, I've been self-destructive the past couple days."

Ezra sat up, sitting next to Jonathan on the bed and pulling him into his lap. Jonathan let himself be pulled in, inhaling the smell of Ezra.

Ezra Ezra Ezra. The boy he fought long and hard for. He thought he tamed him, but maybe he was just a fool in love all along.

"I'm so sorry, baby. You know I love you so fucking much. You're my whole world and you mean everything to me." Ezra repeated himself, over and over again.

"Are you s-sorry?" Jonathan mumbled, his words catching in his throat. He couldn't talk without sobs threatening to spill out.

Ezra pulled his face towards him, resting their foreheads together.

"Of course I am. I don't want anyone but you. You complete me." Ezra said, tone serious and eyes never leaving Jonathan's.

"I don't know If I can do this, Ez." Jonathan whispered, tears once again slipping out.

Ezra's lips parted and closed, before he connected their lips together. And Jonathan let it happen, as the whole weight on his chest seemed to lift at the contact. It was warm and sweet, meaningful and full of love.

"I don't want to live unless it's with you, baby." Ezra whispered, resting his hand on Jonathans heart, lightly feeling the thumping in his chest.

Those words drew Jonathan in as he let himself be pulled off the couch and into the bedroom, and he allowed himself to be pushed flat onto the bed. Ezra slowly slid on top of him, as his fingertips ran under Jonathan's shirt and across his skin, seemingly leaving trails of fire in his skin.

Jonathan's eyes clenched shut as every ounce of hurt and pain centered wherever Ezra's hand touched. He let out a shakey moan as the boy on top mouthed at his neck, still whispering sweet nothings in his ear.

"I love you." Jonathan moaned as Ezra grinded against him softly. It was like old times, and like nothing happened, and Jonathan needed that.

Ezra smiled sweetly, removing their clothes and leaving little marks all over Jonathan's body.

"You're mine, and I'm yours, forever and ever, okay?" Ezra said, his hand wrapping behind Jonathan's neck and into his hair.

And Jonathan couldn't help but let out a string of "yes" and "yours" as they made love, for the first time in seemed like forever.

With every bounce, Jonathan felt every problem go away. Every time it hit just right, Ezra cried out more sweet words, and Jonathan felt himself feel proud.

Once they were finished, they showered. Ezra pampered him, washing his hair and body and giving his tight shoulders a good rub. Jonathan had never felt so loved, and his heart was full of innocent bliss.

They laid together in bed, Jonathan resting on Ezra's chest and listening to his heartbeat. Ezra had one had tightly wrapped around Jonathan's back, and the other holding Jonathan's much larger hand.

"Is everything gonna be okay?" Jonathan whispered, his hands tracing the veins on Ezra's hand.

"We're gonna be okay. We're meant to be, baby. For life." Ezra replied. He smiled as Jonathan blushed and tucked himself further into Ezra's shoulder.

"What happens next?" Jonathan asked, still unsure of how things will go from now on.

Ezra sighed, pulling Jonathan's chin up so their eyes meet. "Let's just pretend nothing happened, okay? And when you're feeling better we can talk about, and maybe go to couples therapy. You're so hurt and I don't want to keep breaking you while you're down."

Jonathan didn't know how to feel. It's what he thought he wanted, but his brain was flashing warning signals and flying bright, red flags.

"Yeah, I think I'd like that. I love you." Jonathan replied, his eyes a tad bit watery.

"I love you too." Ezra replied, his thumb swiping a tear away from Jonathan's eye.