side job

17

Jonathan had locked himself in his room, ignoring the pounding and yelling from Ted. He didn't want to be alive at the moment, so he fell asleep. After a while Ted gave up, but Jonathan didn't know when, since he had passed out.

The therapy session ended after a half hour of begging Jonathan to talk. All he did was cry and stare out the window, and his therapist was baffled at all their hard work thrown out the window.

Now Jonathan was sitting on the edge of his bed, slipping his tennis shoes on as he looked at the duffle bag sitting in his chair. He didn't know where he was going yet, but he knew he was leaving. Ted had left earlier to film the podcast with Charlie, so he didn't have to worry.

He had torn apart the whole house looking for his phone and thankfully found it in a junk drawer. Jonathan had packed all of his belongings as he waited for the phone to turn on.

Jumping, Jonathan turned to look at the phone as it vibrated from all the notifications that had piled up. He picked it up and opened it, trying his best to ignore all the messages from friends asking if he was okay. He opened his call log and saw Ezra's name was still favorited in his phone.

Without thinking, he dialed the number.

"Hello? Jonathan, is it really you?" Ezra responded. He seemed surprised at the call. Jonathan recalled telling him that he didn't have a phone anymore, but might have forgotten to tell him the details.

"U-uh, yeah I guess it is me." A little laugh let out of his lips. He felt uncomfortable.

Ezra stammered with his words a little bit, asking if Jonathan was okay and that it wasn't an emergency. Jonathan reassured him everything was as fine as it could be, and that seemed to calm Ezra down.

"I'm moving out of Ted's place." Jonathan blurted. A few moments of silence passed before Jonathan continued talking. "Gonna go to a hotel until I can find a place I like."

"Why don't you come home?" Ezra asked, and that made Jonathan stop breathing.

Talking suddenly became difficult, and he immediately hung up the phone. A feeling of intense anxiety flushed through his body as he paced around his room. This was wrong, he shouldn't have called Ezra.

All of this was real life. This wasn't a game, and he can't just pretend that nothing had happened. Panicking, he picked his phone again and dialled Ted.

"Oh god, oh my god!" Jonathan repeated as the panic overwhelmed him. His breathing was labored and felt more difficult as Ted's phone rang.

After what felt like hours, Ted answered. "Schlatt? Where'd you find your phone?"

Jonathan kept repeating himself, "I fucked up. Oh god, I fucked up so bad."

Before Jonathan could speak, Ted announced he was on his way. Jonathan tried to sit on the bed, but felt to the floor instead as he struggled to breathe right.

His chest was aching and he felt the tears spring from his eyes suddenly. Everything in his body felt so bad, he was concerned he was dying. Time flashed by as he sobbed on the floor, and soon enough, Ted and Minx suddenly appeared in the room.

"Oh god, Jonathan what happened?" Ted exclaimed, helping the snot-filled man stand up. "Why were you on your phone? I thought you were going to stay off it until you were better?"

Jonathan shook his head, allowing himself to be laid in Minx's arms. The woman pet his hair as she whispered for him to calm down. Ted had his arms crossed as he stared down the man in front of him. Eventually Minx shooed him away so she could help Jonathan calm down in peace.

"What happened bub? Talk to me." Minx whispered as she lightly rubbed Jonathan's back.

"I was going to leave." Jonathan whispered, sniffing a bit. "And I took my phone, and I called him."

Minx let out a soft sigh as she realized why Jonathan had been having an anxiety attack.  She had no idea why Jonathan would still try and talk to Ezra after everything, after all of the therapy and babysitting that Ted had done to make sure he'd be okay.

"Schlatt, you shouldn't have done that." Minx whispered as she continued to rub his back. The man on sniffled in response, but Minx could tell he regretted his actions.

Laying in Minx's lap made the man feel much better. Physical affection was something that he had deeply missed since his break up with Ezra, and it made him feel comfortable for once.

Ted wasn't that type of person, clearly. He wasn't very soft with anyone, outside of his new girlfriend.

"I saw him at the park. I was filling out the papers my therapist gave me, and he just came up to me. He held me, apologized, told me all of the things that I wanted to hear." Jonathan laughed at himself.

Minx felt herself tear up at Jonathan's words. She felt horrible for how hard he was being manipulated. After all of this, Ezra still had such a chokehold on Jonathan, despite all of the evil.

"Don't worry, Schlatt. He's going to go to jail and you won't have to worry about seeing him ever again. He's not entitled to you, your love, or your body." Minx reminded.

It was something his therapist had been repeating since they had begun their sessions, but it felt nice to hear someone who wasn't being paid to say those words actually speak them.

Everything in their sessions revolved around being independent, and not relying on Ezra for self-worth. It was so much more difficult than the way his therapist treated it. She acted as if Jonathan should just remind himself that he didn't need Ezra anymore, and then he'd be fixed.

Many nights Jonathan would fall asleep repeating the words "you don't need him" over and over, until his words were slurred and he wasn't conscious anymore.

Every time he did it, his mind would scream the opposite. Some nights, when Ted was gone, he'd scream the words until his throat was raw and the headache he had gave himself would blur away his thoughts.

By then, he'd take headache medicine and sleep medicine and force himself to sleep, no matter what time it was. Sleep saved him, as it gave him a break from reality that he desperately needed. Dreaming kept him from doing drugs again, so he spent most of his time finding peace in his sleep.

And so, as Minx rubbed his back in silence, he allowed himself to drift off into sleep, where he felt like he could finally be at peace.