The Hanging Tree ( Kohnnie )

Chapter 1: Introduction

*All will be in Johnnie's POV unless otherwise stated and yes, the idea for the song is from the hunger games, I decided some of it could fit ^~^*

'Are you, are you coming to the tree? They strung up a man they say who murdered three. Strange things have happened here, no stranger would it be, if we met at midnight in the hanging tree...'

I sat on the edge of the cliff, not in my usual spot under my tall, leafless tree staring out into the big city, but on the other side of the cliff that stares out into the small town I call my home. I never realized how pretty it looks at sunset, the sun going down, lights coming on. Sometimes I can see silhouettes of loving families laughing or having dinner and it makes me think... It makes me think, why can't I have a family like that? Why can't my parents cook me dinner and make silly jokes and just...love me?

Oh right, it's because they're dead.

A murder suicide, that's what I was told. I was abandoned at age two, I don't know the reason for that but I do know my real father set his mom's boyfriend on fire and killed my mother, then himself. I've been told I'm 'lucky' I was abandoned, otherwise he would have killed me. Apparently he wasn't a nice man, he raped my mother- that's what I am, an accident. Sometimes though, I wish he had killed me. I can't survive it here, it's a goddamn hopeless world we live in.

In case you haven't guessed, I'm not really happy. I'm not liked, I have no friends or real family. I get bullied a lot and my adoptive parents don't care for be. Well, they don't hate me but they don't love me either. The only other person other than themselves that they love is their real son, Bryan. I'm not happy here, I want to leave. And I don't mean leave this family or my home, I mean leave this world.

Usually on a night I'll sit on the tree outside my bedroom window or go for a walk, about three miles up to the cliff that hangs over a small ravine by the town. On the other side, there's a ditch. Further away from the ditch, there's a city on the horizon. The lights there are much brighter than the ones in the town. I think it's a beautiful sight, especially at night with the stars adding extra lights. It's like there's a whole new city in the sky. Or a castle, one like Laputa but a lot bigger, and it's better than this harsh world.

Some day, I hope to visit that city in the sky. I want to jump off the face of earth and reach for the stars and I don't want to return.

Noticing it was getting very dark and late, I decided to call it a day and head back home, where I know I'm not wanted. I don't know why I even go back. I could just run away and no one would notice.

'Why don't we just run away, never turn around, no matter what they say we'll find our way. When the sun goes down on this town, there'll be no one left but us. Just like run-aways.' The new song Runaways by All Time Low ran though my head except there is no 'we' or 'us'... It's just me.

As I stood up, my small shadow showed me how skinny I really am. My legs are like sticks compared to the shadows of the branches on the tree next to me. I'm anorexic, I know, but I don't see it that way. Whenever I'm forced to eat, I see myself grow and I feel guilty. When I look in the mirror, I see myself... Obviously. But the 'myself' that I see isn't who I want myself to be.

I'm average height but very skinny. My hair is dyed black and often looks kinda greasy even though I wash it every night.

Despite the bad acne I wouldn't say I'm actually ugly but the world and everyone else in it would disagree with me.

Being skinny makes me look worse, like, not even human. All my clothes look really baggy on me, even the smallest size girls skinny jeans. Wristbands always slip off my wrist easily so I prefer tie on string bracelets.

I don't know why I cover up my scars, no one would care if they saw them anyway. I guess I'm scared of getting judged by it even though I'm judged for everything else so it won't make a difference. I think the one thing I'm worried about is my adoptive parents finding out or even knowing how I feel. If they know I hurt myself or find out I want to die, they'll be disgraced. They will say I'm attention seeking and kick me out. But what if I did die? What if I kill myself tomorrow? Will it affect them, or will they carry on with their everyday lives as if I never existed? Are they gonna miss me when I'm gone? If they found me dead, they'd probably bury me in the compost heap to decompose and pretend I never existed. It's not like they even give a shit. I feel invisible to the world sometimes.

I slowly made my way down the side of the cliff back into the town, past various streets and into my own. When I reached my house the door was locked so I climbed up the tree at the front of the house and went though my window, which I keep open for times like this. The fact the door was locked upsets me, they didn't even leave it open for me to come back. Maybe they expected me to finally leave.

I got changed into my baggy pajamas and went out to brush my teeth. As I left my room, I regretted it by accidentally bumping into my tall blonde older 'brother'.

"Watch where you're going, fucking fag!" He spat at me but whispered that last part. I had no trouble holding back tears as it's what I do every day. The urge to cry, it never ends but I resist.

I slipped past him, pressing my lips together to stop myself replying to him. Even an apology would set him off and possibly earn me a smack.

After brushing my teeth, doing my business and staring hard at myself in the mirror I decided to go back to my room. But I won't stay there, I'll go to my tree. I don't think of it as a tree really. It's not just a big log planted in the ground, it's a friend. My only friend. It sounds sad but I like to talk to it. It's nature, so it's alive. It lives and grows, just like me. I wonder if it has feelings... If trees could talk, maybe it's be someone I can easily talk to and get along with. We're both lonely with no friends or anyone to talk to, except for the few birds and squirrels that occasionally is it the tree but they flee when they see me- just like everyone does at school. Human or animal, probably even plant, no-one wants to be near me.

Climbing out the window, onto the wide tree branch, I noticed a new family have moved in across the road. Hmm, they'll probably leave when they see me.

In the front window of the house, I saw a man and a woman, each taking a turn to hug a boy about my age before he went up the stairs with a box of stuff that he probably has to sort out. They looked so happy together.

Another light upstairs in the house turned on so I focused on that room. There was a bunk-bed with fairy lights wrapped around the bottom bed and posters already covering the walls. The boy walked in and plopped his box on what must be a table. He started pulling things out of it and setting them up on shelves.

I think the boy must've got a bit tired because he yawned but then he just ripped his shirt straight off... I found myself staring as he took off his beanie and changed into a baggy tee. He's cute and I swing both ways but he doesn't seem to be my type to be honest. Not that he'll ever want to talk to me anyway.

When I actually realized I was staring like a creep, it was too late to move my eyes away. He spotted me in my tree and was looking directly at me. And he seemed to be... Smiling...? At me? I looked around to check that I was the only person he was looking at, and I was. There's no-one else in sight.

I watched as he waved at me and I slowly raised my own hand, not really knowing how to wave. When he put his hand down, he looked around quickly and held up one finger before turning around and heading back downstairs, I'm guessing to say 'one minute'. Shit, is he coming down?!

I saw him enter the bottom room again, facing his parents, he pointed out the window to where I was sat. His mom, I'm guessing, turned around, then back and nodded. The boy made his way to the door, opening it, coming outside and walked over to me.

"Hi." He said.

"Uh..." I shifted around in my tree, "hi?" I squeaked. My voice cracked big time then.

Crap.