Show Me Your Scars

Battle Wounds

As I pull my sweatshirt on, I try not to think about my wrists, and the cuts along them. When I put my pants on I try not to look down at my thighs and see the scars.

People say they are battle wounds, as if I had to go to war with depression, but I say they are scars. Cause thats just what they are. Scars.

***

As I walk into school, people squeeze past each other, trying to get to their lockers. I hear people laughing with their friends. Must be nice.

When I walk up to my locker, I see the popular kids standing near it. I just push my stuff into the locker and shove past them. I can feel them looking at me with disgust. Whatever, they can go fuck off.

When I walk into third period, I see him. I see Leonardo. He has ice blue eyes and dark brown hair that swoops up in the front. It's stupid to think he would ever like me. But I like him. He seems so funny and reliable. I don't undertsand why he hangs out with the popular people.

Half way through class, the teacher says we have to work with partners. As usual, people pair up with their friends and I'm standing alone. But then I realize, Leonardo doesn't have any of his friends to pair up with.

Don't panic, it's okay.

He starts walking towards me. When he gets closer, my breaths quicken.

He walks right past me, to Ashley.

Oh. Well, I guess I'll work alone again!

***

The next few days is the same. Some scars are going away. Some are new. The longest I have been clean is 2 days. Thats a high score for me. I am just so stressed about everything. I get so self-conscious and insecure. People say "don't sweat the small stuff." but I do. I get nervous about the tiniest things.

When I go into the bath room, I feel the tears pooling up in my eyes. I find and grab my razor. As I drag it across the skin on my wrist, I can feel the tears falling out of my eyes like waterfalls.

Why do people call me names? Why do they think its funny to hurt and torture me? It's not funny. And it's completely rude!

When i leave the bathroom, I have more cuts, than usual on my arms and legs. I can't let anybody see them, so I wear a long sleeved shirt. Then I put my jeans on. I have to be careful though, because, I have to make sure some one doesn't put pressure on my arms, or they will start bleeding.

***

When I get to school, I can see people staring at me, looking at me as if I have come from some different planet. Gosh, I know I look different, but they dont need to look at me like I am a pile of shit.

I have curly, dark brown hair. I am small and skinny.

But my eyes, they are violet. Thats why most people look at me. Because of my eyes.

The day goes by so slow, and thankfully no-one see's my arms.

When I walk out to my car at the end of the day, I see Leonardo walking out too.
And his car is right next to mine.

"Hey, Clara.", He says "Right?"
"H-Hi, Yes." I say.
"What's up?"
"N-Nothing much..."
"Um, sorry you didnt have anybody to work with today", Leonardo says.
"I-It's okay.", I say
"See you tomorrow!" He says and waves. He gets into his car and drives away.

***

When I get home I run straight up to my room and text my friend, Tori.

"OMG, LEONARDO TALKED TO ME TODAY! I STUTTERED THOUGH :(" I write.

"SERIOUSLY!?! YOU'RE KIDDING!!" She texts back

"Nope," I write, "After school he talked to me."

"Gtg, Ttyl. TELL ME MORE!!" says Tori.

I miss her. I miss Tori. When I went to kindergarten, we immediately became friends. She helped cope with my depression. But in 8th grade she had to move, because of her dad's job. The depression came back hit me like a punch in the face.

We still text and call all the time though.

***

A week later, I was walking out of school and I see Leonardo.

"Hey, Clara.", he says.
"H-Hi, Leonardo." I stutter back.
"Just call me Leo, see ya tomorrow he says!" He says and drives away.

Oh my god, why does he keep talking to me!? He is probably just being polite... I'm still a freaking weirdo.

When I get into my car, I drive to Starbucks and get a iced coffee, then take a quick drive through town, blasting my music. I'm known to do that.

I get home later then usual and my parents are home.

"Where have you been, young lady!?!" my mom yells from the kitchen.

"I went to Starbucks and took a drive through town, jeez, I'm fine mom!!", I yell angrily back. "I'm going upstairs!"

"Be ready for dinner!" my mom says.
I just keep walking upstairs.

-----------------------------------------
So this is the first chapter, sorry its so short I really hope you guys like it! ≧∇≦

I'm just letting you guys know, I'm not depressed or anything, I just thought it would be interesting to make a book like this!

-cloudedfutures