No Strings Attached | MBJ BWBM

41.

Y/N

I was sitting in my therapists office waiting room waiting on her to be done with the person who was ahead of me. I just bounced my leg nervous some. I didn't want to hear anything about possibly breaking up with Michael because that would hurt him and that's the last thing I needed nor wanted. "Y/N Y/L/N?" I heard as I stood up.

We smiled at each other before we went inside the room and she closed the door. "Take a seat" she said as I sat down. "You can call me Dr. Brown or Mrs. Brown whatever is better for you" she said as I smiled some. "Do you by chance have a sibling who is a therapist around here?" I asked due to her having the same last name as Michael's therapist. She let out a small laugh. "No but he's my husband" she said as We both let out a small laugh "I'm sorry" I apologized. "No it's fine we get that a lot they automatically think Siblings when they find out our practices are near each other and we have the same last names" she explained before sitting in her chair.

"What brings you here today?" She asked smiling at me "well I've recently got into a relationship and it's going so good, he's a nice guy and I love him so much but it's like in the back of my head I think it's eventually going to go left sometimes I get overwhelmed by the amount of love he shows me so I push him away almost, unless I decide I want to be affectionate" I started off as she looked at me and listened. "I have a hard time with accepting and allowing him to do nice things for me and the main thing I 'm scared of is me hurting him and him leaving because of my actions." I explained.

"I don't know if something is wrong but I know I love him I just" I started off then sighed. "Can I ask you a couple of questions?" She asked as I nodded. "How's your relationship with your father?" She asked as I just rolled my eyes back then smiled. "I don't necessarily talk to him" I admitted. "Why is that?" She asked. "Growing up he didn't do right by my mother , she struggled a lot and he would be in and out of my life so one day I just decided that he no longer needs to be in my life" I admitted.

"Why is that?" She asked. "He wasn't technically there so why try and have a relationship with someone who obviously doesn't care to have one with me?" I questioned as she nodded. "I loved on him so much as a kid and when he said he would come through he never did so I just" I started off then shrugged. "Emotionally checked out" she said as I looked at her weird. "I wouldn't say that necessarily" I answered.

"I love my mother, I'm very close with her and I have an unbreakable bond with her" I informed. "But with your father it just isn't there" she said as I agreed. "When he tells you how he loves you what do you feel?" She asked. "It goes in one ear and out of the other." I honestly said. "When watching your mother as you grew up and dealing with you dad did you develop a independent mindset?" She questioned as I nodded.

"Has that affected you in any of your past relationships besides this one currently?" She asked as I started trying to think. "No because if they didn't want to do it or just didn't do it, I did it myself. I bought myself flowers, I took myself to the nail salon, paid my own bills, worked two jobs on top of going to school full time so I handled myself" I explained hearing myself talk a little aggressive and it wasn't at her nor on purpose it was that I'm not listening to someone who says they're going to do anything for me when I can just do it for myself.

"Tell me about your past relationships how many have you been in prior to this one?" She asked. "Four " I admitted. "Three" I answered "tell me about the first" she said as I looked down. "I feel like you're going to look at me crazy and call me stupid" I admitted with a small chuckle. "Listen. Baby I'm here to help you. I've heard a lot of off the wall shit you are fine" she assured as I finally looked at her.

" the first one He honestly was just there to take my virginity because a couple of weeks later we broken up and I've never heard from him" I admitted. "And how did that make you feel?" She asked as I looked down feeling a tear fall from my eyes. "It made me feel used, I really thought he liked me and I liked him back so I gave it to him" I admitted. Wiping my tears with my hands before she handed me a tissue. "So that was that" I said with a faint smile.