In Love With The Irish One ~(N.H.)

28

I've gotta leave.

I have to go to my flat.

I can't be here anymore. It's hurting me.

I feel physically drained.

I love her. I love being around her. But she will never understand.

"Hey, uh, I think I'm gonna go to my flat" I mumble as I finish washing our breakfast plates.

"Oh" She says... then a moment later, continues with, "Want me to go too? Do you, like, just need more clothes?"

"Uh, well, I was thinking about just staying there...u-until your mom comes home. Then, I'll come back and help." I tell her while rubbing the back of my neck

I turned to face her and found her looking away. She was sitting on the counter, barely swinging her legs, coffee cup in hand.

"Right." She states before sipping her from the steaming mug.

"Right..." I sigh as I watch her carefully

"I'll... I'll drive you" she says quietly

"Thanks, Mel" I smile a little, but she doesn't return it. She gets down from the counter, leaves her almost full mug sitting, then goes to her room.

I lean against the counter and put my hands on my face.

I just fuck everything up, don't I?

When she comes back down, she's dressed with her hair brush and a bit of makeup done. 

"I'm gonna just make sure I have everything" I mumble as I walk past her

Once in her room, I get my clothes off the floor and get everything else that somehow made it's way out of my bag... and when I'm all done, I slowly look around her room.

I know I'll be back here in a week-ish when her mom comes home... but just thinking about leaving hurts... but, honestly, nothing hurts like loving someone and not being able to have them.

I go downstairs with my bag over my shoulder and find Mel. She's slipping into her shoes by the front door.

"Ready?" I ask as I get closer

She only nods, pulls open the door, and leads the way to her car

...

The entire car ride, we just listened to the radio... and after 30 minutes, we were in my part of London, pulling up to my house.

"You want to come in for a few minutes? You haven't been here in a while" I tell her

"Uh... sure" She says and turns the key, shutting the car off

We get out and go in. I toss my bag to the floor as soon as we're inside. She walks around, one hand on the wall, gently letting her fingers graze the painted surface.

"Are our hand prints still on your bedroom wall?" She asks quietly

"Yup. Yours, yellow. Mine, blue." I tell her

She smiles a little and looks down.

"Is our names still carved into the bedframe?" 

"Always will be"