I lied. The nights are totally worse than waking up. All the bad stuff you regret comes back to hit you in the face.. You just want to die and not wake up tomorrow. Its a pretty shit life when your depressed...
Sitting alone at midnight is one of the worst feelings ever..but also it can be the best. Right now though its the worst. The events of today have lead up to the worst night of my life. This is going to be a long night...
I was curled up in the corner waiting for the voices to stop. I was home alone that night and thought it was perfect. Until now. I thought to myself this could be it. This could be a chance to escape for ever. Not just a couple hours. Forever.
I stumbled to the bathroom leaving the light off. I slammed the door and locked it. Like I was hiding from someone. I began to scream into the mirror at myself.
"PATHETIC! STUPID!"
"Why don't you just shut up"
I heard the words. From outside the door. I spun round making sure it was locked.
"Who's there?" I mumbled.
"Its me dont worry.." It was Harry.
I slid down the door in shame.
"What's wrong?" The words came through door.
"Nothing. Just go please."
"No. I'm not leaving. Don't cut please. I'm going to stand here till you come out."
Fuck. It was to late not to cut.
"Please just leave" tears ran from eyes. I dragged the blade across my wrist. And gasped for air.
"STOP"
He burst through the door and i turned to see his despaired face, his deep blue eyes locked onto me. I only had a second before he grabbed me to his chest. He was breathing heavily. He had ran here. But why. How did he know.
Suddenly, like he had read my mind he said,
"You didn't answer your phone after 3 times. I knew something was up. I knew what you were gonna do. I knew you had the perfect chance. I KNEW."
I fell to the floor in shame.
I didn't know what to say. Until he glanced towards my bleeding wrist.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."
His lip began to quiver and tears fell from his eyes.
"Katy. Please stop doing this to yourself. THIS ISNT RIGHT. ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID YOUR GONNA KILL YOURSELF!!"
"I KNOW I AM THATS THE POINT YOU DUMB SHIT!"
He grabbed me towards him and whispered I'm sorry into my ear before kissing me.
