Clean

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I say I'm clean
But my cracked, bleeding lips tell a different story.
My peeled bleeding fingers hide under oversized hoodies.
Spelling out a different tale.
My hair falls out in the shower
In clumps
From eating once a day.
But I'm clean right?
Because I'm not dragging a blade across my skin.
I'm clean.
But I'm not clean.
I've just stopped hurting myself with objects.
I've just stopped caring about my health.
But I'm clean.
Because it's not a blade.
Because it's just me.

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