Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
You had a playlist for almost every point of your life, from the morning, showers, driving, after school, before school, you name it.
The first song to play was "Shame" by Mitski.
You laughed at the song, remembering how your mom said you'd get depressed from listening to stuff like that.
Little did she know you already were.
You were definitely not the happiest person in the world. You weren't happy with your life even though on the outside looking in, you had everything anyone could want.
You had two great parents who were happily married, no siblings, a beautiful car, a nice house to live in and you were at the top of your classes.
So why weren't you happy? Well, you'd always felt like no one around you understood you.
You weren't the type to self-diagnose so, you can't say if you had an actual mental illness but your mental health wasn't up to part.
Since you were the only child, you never had anyone to play with as a kid.
Yes, you had your cousins but what would happen once you'd gotten home?
You made up fake friends and people you'd talk to, you even played each person and talked back to yourself.
To you, it was just a way you could play.
Eventually, you found yourself still talking to yourself even after you'd gotten older since you didn't have anyone but yourself to understand you.
You were very anxious around people and it was very hard for you to socialize. That was one reason why you isolated yourself and hated yourself for it because it was so easy for others.
You hated not being able to just go up to people and hold a conversation. You hated yourself for not being able to tell your friends that what they say hurt you and sometimes others.
You hated that no one around you could seem to understand how you felt. "Just talk to people" "Stop being shy" "You're just lazy" "You're so antisocial" "Why don't you ever go out" "Get over it" "You're such a crybaby"
You were sick of it, another reason why you hated your life was that you didn't have your own person.
That person who you could go to when your world came crumbling down. They'd comfort you and tell you it would get better and you'd believe them because you trusted them with all your heart.
