Purposefully Hating Cedric

9

I'm Still Hung up on you. What Have you put me Through?
-

Oh my fuck.

The searing pain that shoots through my skull is absolutely blinding. Why in God's name did I have to drink so much fire whiskey last night?

Oh God, and the events that followed after it. I'm mortified beyond words. How in the hell am I supposed to face Cedric now, or even Cho for that matter?

There are two ways I could go about this.

One: I avoid both of them at all costs today, transfer schools as soon as I can, and never see them ever again.

Or, the more logical option.

Two: I act like I'm not embarrassed, even though I secretly am, until they forget about it. Embarrassment is just a social construct; nothing is embarrassing unless you allow it to be.

Considering the fact that I'm not in any mood or position to move schools right now, I'm going to go with option two.

Mustering up all the strength I have, I force myself to finally get out of bed and make my way to the shower. My body itches from sleeping in a sequin mini dress, my breath smells rotten, and my hair is knotted all throughout. Thankfully, none of my roommates are awake yet to see me in this state.

The hot water feels like heaven as I step into the shower. Once I'm finally finished washing my hair and body, I just allow myself to rest under the hot water for several minutes.

Why was Cedric being so nice to me last night? I know Cho asked him to bring me to my room, but he sure as hell didn't have to stay with me as I puked my guts out. Not only that, but he also carried me to bed when I was too exhausted to walk over there myself. "We were best friends once. The instinct to always be there for each other doesn't just go away, no matter how much we hate each other now," were his words. Is that true? Do I still feel inclined to always be there for him, even now?

I don't think so, but I'm willing to be proven wrong.

And then there's also the impending conversation I now have looming over my head. "We'll have this conversation when you're sober," he'd said. Do I even want to have that conversation? I mean, the closure would be nice, but what's the point? It's not like we'll be together as more than friends after that conversation takes place. It's easier to put away my infatuation towards him if I'm hating him. If we have that conversation and I no longer have a reason to hate him, then it'll be nearly impossible to get over my stupid feelings. I know that it's a conversation that will happen eventually though, regardless if I want it to or not. For Cedric's sake, if not anything else.

I shut off the water, stepping out of the shower and into a pair of sweats and a tank top. My face definitely looks far more refreshed now as I step in front of the mirror. By the time I'm finally finished brushing my teeth, my dorm mates have woken up with looks that resemble how I'd felt half an hour ago. There's nothing like waking up the morning after you got shit-faced.

"Morning, shawds." I smirk, struggling to keep in the impending laughter at all of their hungover looks.

"Stop talking so loud," Kira whines, throwing a pillow at me with one hand and clutching her head in the other.

"You stop talking so loud." Eleanor groans, throwing a pillow at Kira.

Sydney snores, still passed out. I smile, rushing over to her bed and pouncing on top of her.

"Wake up, Mattheo's here and he said he wants to fuck you!" I whisper the last part into her ear.

She shoots up, first surprised, and then irritated. "Fuck you." She shoves me back, clutching her head in her hands from what I'm assuming is a pounding headache.