Purposefully Hating Cedric

16

It's a Little bit Funny, this Feeling Inside
-

I don't wake up until late afternoon the next day, and the same goes for my dorm mates. Though, this is expected because we all stayed up until sunrise. I smile at the thought of last night. It was definitely one of the best memories I've created here in my DR.

Looking at the clock on my nightstand, I realize that it's already 4:30 and I've wasted the majority of my Sunday by sleeping in. My eyes stray from the clock, catching sight of a slip of paper on my nightstand that I didn't put there before. I unfold the sheet, reading the words scrawled across the page.

Meet me at the entrance to Hogsmede at 5:00.

-W

Huh, odd. I wonder what Will has in store. Briefly, I panic that he's planned some extravagant proposal to ask me out officially, but the more logical part of me knows that that's probably not the case. I'm pretty sure Will has more sense than to ask me out whilst it's fairly obvious that I'm still not 100% over Cedric. But I can't help but wonder, considering how there have been several times in the past week or so where Will's hinted at us becoming more. Naturally, I deflected it each time, but I know that one day I'll either have to reject him, or make it obvious that I can't be in a relationship with him.

I'm not trying to act "saint-like" or anything, because I'm far from it, but like I've said before, Will deserves better than I can give him. I know that I'm not ready for a relationship because my heart is torn between two men. If I can't give him 100% of my love, I won't subject him to a real relationship with me.

Though, I can't pretend like I'm not frustrated with myself, because I am. Greatly. I just don't understand why I can't throw away my feelings towards this Cedric. I'd like to say it's because he's just a different version of my Cedric, but I know that's not entirely the reason. I think it's because, for some reason, I desire what I know I shouldn't want. I know that I should learn to love what's good for me, but sometimes what's good for me isn't what's exciting. What's good for me isn't what draws me in like a magnet that I just can't stay away from.

I've started to crave the poison that this Cedric uses to rot me from the inside out, and I can't stop.

Not sure what Will has planned, I decide to go semi-nice, semi-casual with my outfit. I throw on a black leather jacket, a dark green sweater, a black mini-skirt, tights, and doc martins.

Once I'm done, I head out of my dorm, careful not to wake my roommates. I head downstairs and out the portrait door, only stopping briefly to say hi to Draco and Blaise in the common room lobby. However, I'm immediately stopped in my tracks upon exiting the door by the large sign plastered to the right wall of the dungeons.

Masquerade! Every face a different shade . . . 10/31

Ah, the typical Halloween masquerade ball. I briefly recall the one from my other DR. It was fun. Really fun, in fact. But this ball is in less than a week, meaning I only have a few days to find a dress. I quickly make a mental note to find Hermione, Ginny, and Luna after my thing with Will tonight.

I leave through one of the several castle exits that lead towards Hogsmede, eventually finding Will by the gate. He's dressed in a brown crewneck, loose light-wash jeans, his usual converse, and has Simone strapped over his shoulder.

Like usual, Will's face lights up like a puppy dog when he catches sight of me. His contagious smile causes one to spread across my face too.

"Where are we going?" I ask as we start down the path to Hogsmede.