Another Chance

3

“So, about all this whole thing. How do you think we should proceed?" Gabriel asked her after she closed the door of Bastien’s room. Despite being a very healthy and energetic child, thankfully their son was also very obedient and sleep came easy to him in a way Nathalie wasn’t sure she could claim credit for.

Bless his innocent carefree soul.

"I'm not sure," she answered, "I need to think about how we're going to tell him. He's old enough he's realized he doesn't have a father and other children do but I'm not sure he really grasps that you exist as someone out there. Or how he'll take the news.” She’d tried to explain the situation to Bastien in toddler-friendly words but she wasn’t sure her son had understood, and she’d done so thinking it was unlikely Gabriel would ever appear in their lives. And so after some consideration, she added, “I think, maybe, it could be a good idea to give him time so he could get to know you a little bit and get used to your presence before telling him."

He nodded and pressed his lips together. “Maybe you’re right.”

He seemed a little anxious. It was an odd experience seeing Gabriel like that. Not knowing what to do and openly displaying that      .

Nathalie thought," Maybe you should come and stay in the city for a while and let him get to know you and then we tell him? What do you think? Is it doable?"

Gabriel appeared to give it due consideration. "Not immediately, no. But I could rearrange things and stay here for...how much time do you think is a reasonable time?”

“I don't know. We'd be playing by the ear. Two weeks maybe? Maybe more? I really don't know.” Though there was the fact  “We still have a month before he starts kindergarten.”

Gabriel furiously typed something on his phone then looked back up, “I’ve texted my assistant, she’ll reschedule everything I had for tomorrow, then I’ve arranged for a two-week vacation starting next Monday. Andrea’s off the clock now, but she’ll sort it in the morning. Anything that can’t be rescheduled I’ll do by videoconference.

“Oh,” despite all of it how serious he seemed to be about this surprised her. “That will make things easier then. For the two of you to get to know each other.”

“I hope so,” Gabriel didn’t meet her eyes, “I haven’t told Adrien yet. Do you think I should tell him now or after we tell Bastien I’m his father?

“I don’t know.” And then, “How is Adrien? I mean, you didn’t really go into detail about what happened between the two of you.” Then she looked around and said, “Let’s continue this on the couch. Do you still have trouble sleeping? I have chamomile tea.”

“Thank you.” He responded as they made their way to the sofa, “But I’m sleeping much better now. Now and then  I get restless, and I still have nightmares from time to time, but it is much better now.”

“Good.” She said sitting in the middle space beside Gabriel.

Then after some thinking, he said, “Yes, chamomile tea would be appreciated. I can’t deny this is making me a little anxious.” And Nathalie got up again to prepare the tea. “But, answering your question, Adrien is doing very well. He’s at university studying business of all things.”

Nathalie looked back at him from the kitchen surprised. “Really?”

“Yes. After we began mending our relationship he took an interest in the company. I think he didn’t actually care for it at the beginning and was just doing it so we could spend more time together, but it grew on him, and of course, he doesn’t have one ounce of artistic talent in his body but he does have good business instincts and he’s really good with people. Give him time and I’ll be able to retire.”

“That’s good to hear.” She smiled fondly. Before Bastien, Adrien had been the closest thing she had had to a son and she’d grown to love him like one. But he wasn’t hers. He’d had a father. A father who’d been trying to bring his mother back to them. And she’d had Bastien to protect.

“Are you tired? Do you want to pull the bed out already? I know you must be tired.”

“I am. But it took me long enough to find you and we haven’t had  much time to talk like this when Bastien was awake.” She could hear the fondness in his voice and then he surprised her by saying “He was Chat Noir, you know.” changing the light conversation to a more somber topic. “Adrien.” He clarified.

“What!?” Nathalie’s relaxed posture turned stiff. “How did you find out?” It was a good thing the water hasn't boiled yet.

He didn’t answer immediately, and she understood he needed her to be close to him for this conversation to work. She finished preparing two cups of tea and brought them to the living room placing them on the center table.

“Tell me.” She said after positioning herself sideways on the sofa, one leg bent under the other one that reached the floor. Her neck bent slightly sideways as her head rested completely in the back of the sofa.

She saw him mirror her position, though his head rested on the wall behind the sofa before he replied, “I had akumatized a man…a violent man. I shouldn’t have done it. I could feel his temperament through the connection. I could feel that he didn’t care. That he was full of hatred for the world. But Emilie’s body had started to  degenerate, and I was running out of time. She would die if I didn’t get my hands on those miraculous fast and I stopped caring too. I was desperate, Nathalie. I never wanted to hurt people, but I had started seeing it as unavoidable collateral and I just…”

He said all that without looking at her face, but at a point between them on the sofa. Then, after he rearranged his thoughts again, he resumed his story.

“That last time, I felt such an incredibly strong feeling I couldn’t resist. But I should have because I was at the company with Adrien. He was at a photoshoot for another campaign and I left him there to akumatize the person I’d felt, but I underestimated the hatred I’d seen inside him, and he broke free.” Another pause to breathe and, “I could still see through our connection, but wouldn’t obey. He was like an animal. I had made a superpowered beast that had just one goal that was to kill and destroy everyone and everything in his way and he did just that.”

Nathalie covered the hand that rested on his bent knee, but he didn’t give her any hint that he’d felt her hold.

“I tried hard to take control back, but it was like the akuma had wiped all reason out of him and when it had reached the company’s building I saw through the connection when he grabbed Adrien and I heard Adrien say claws out and a green glow spread through his body but the akuma…it reaped Adrian apart before he completed the transformation.” He made a long pause before he was able to talk again.

Nathalie wasn’t used to Gabriel being so through about…whatever. He was never that detailed unless it suited his plans. This level of openness was a new development.

“He was dismembered, Nathalie. I held my son in my arms, and he wasn’t even complete. There was so much blood and I know it wasn’t just Adrien’s, but all I can remember clearly is him. His face. His missing limbs discarded a few feet away.” And after a brief pause, “I had never felt so relieved to see that swarm of ladybugs in my entire life.” His voice broke again but then, “He’d be dead if I’d won, Nathalie. He’d be dead.”

Nathalie knew that must have been the first time he told this to anyone. That he must have been bottling it all inside him for nearly four years now and still, his face had had a sad and somber expression but not the tears she’d expected during all the time he told her the gruesome details of this story. It was evident that he was struggling to keep that strong front for her, but now that it was over, she couldn’t help but shorten their distance until they were connected by their foreheads, knees, and hands.

She kissed the spot on his cheek near the earlobe and they slept like that.

----

Nathalie woke up in the morning to the sound of the television. Bastien. When awareness started to penetrate the fog that was her mind in those early hours, she understood they had slept on the sofa in the most uncomfortable way. She and Gabriel were seated with their feet on the center table (it was a miracle there weren’t any shards of their cups on the floor) and she was slightly on her side, resting her head in his shoulder while his arm went behind her and rested sprawled on the back of the sofa and her arm that was closer to him was over him, equally sprawled and he was holding that hand.
    
All in all, it was not a compromising position to be found by a 3-year-old who was seated on the rug just beside her legs. Bastien looked at her when he saw her let stir and asked, “Why did you sleep here?”

“We feel asleep while talking, I think.” And then sitting more erect she asked “Hungry?”

He smiled. “Yes.”

She raised and went to the bathroom to wash her mouth and brush her hair to at least look presentable for when Gabriel woke up.

----

It was two things that woke Gabriel up. The first was the sound of two people talking and the second was the smell of coffee. He wasn’t at his house. He wasn’t in Paris. He was in Toulouse, in Nathalie’s house, and they had been talking all night before he fell falling asleep on her couch. He knew she had slept there by his side because at some point, he had been half awake and it had looked that her neck would break so he pulled her to him so that she could rest her head more comfortably on his chest.

He just stayed there in silence. Looking at them going through their morning routine. Nathalie telling Bastien that yes, he could have a cookie if he ate his fruit first. Bastien, escalating the stool to sit on it. Nathalie turning around with a bowl of something and positioning it in front of Bastien and then finally looking up in his direction and smiling at him.

“Good morning.” She said.

“Good morning.” He heard his hoarse morning voice say and his son turned around to look at him.

“Good morning, mister Gabriel.”

His son’s voice was so cute, but he couldn’t help but feel something sting his heart at being called mister by his own son, but he swallowed that and answered with a “Good morning, Bastien.”

To distract himself, he rose up and then to Nathalie, “I’m going to get my things from the car. I forgot to do that yesterday.”

“Ok, but first, what do you want for breakfast? I’m making a fruit salad and we have yogurt, coffee, and cookies if you want one. Hum…” She said as she turned to one of the cupboards, grabbing a cereal box and shaking it. “…and cereal too.”

“Oh, I don’t remember you eating so much when we lived together.” He casually dropped making Bastien’s eyes grow bigger.

“You and my mommy lived together?”

“Oh…” That was all that Gabriel managed to answer and he was forced to look at Nathalie for support.

He’d have to be very careful because it was obvious that no child of his and Nathalie’s would be easily fooled.

“Yes, we did. A long time ago. Before you were born.”

Bastien replied with a simple “Hum.” But it was obvious there was more he wanted to say. Still, Gabriel could help being surprised by Bastien’s next question. “Mommy, was mister Gabriel your boyfriend?”

If Nathalie was embarrassed, she didn’t show, as she took this question in her stride, “No, he wasn’t, honey. But we used to be friends and Gabriel was also my boss.” And that seemed to be enough to satisfy Bastien because it seemed, his son was too little to understand how inappropriate it was for an employee to live with their employer. Maybe it was the friend part that saved them from being further questioned? Gabriel didn’t know.

“Ok. I’m going to the car.” And he left.

---

Bastien was already eating when he came back. He had a bowl of fruit salad and some of three pieces of watermelon had fallen to the floor, but all in all his manners at the table were very good. Nathalie was teaching their son very well, but that didn’t come as a surprise. On the contrary, it was something that made him proud of Nathalie even though it was stupid, he knew it because that was just who Nathalie was and it wasn’t as if he had contributed for her to be like that or helped her raise their son and it wasn't as if she hadn’t half-raised Adrien while he was very occupied neglecting him.

“Bas, it’s the first time Gabriel is here in Toulouse. So, I thought, how about we show him around a little? Would you think that taking him to the Safari Kids is a good idea?”

“YES!” The boy yelped.

“Calm down, baby. First, you finish your fruit.” Nathalie laughed.

“What’s Safari Kids?”

“Oh, you’re going to love it, mister Gabriel! We can climb there and mommy lets me run and there’s even…”

He’d stopped listening right there and Oh-no was the first coherent thought that came to his mind. And almost immediately, he was ashamed to think that. That was why Nathalie had asked him if he really wanted to do this. If he really wanted to be a father again. A father of a 3-year-old energetic child, nonethele¬ss.

And he could see that Nathalie saw him stiffen. He knew that in less than eight hours he’d already disappointed her, and the confirmation came in the form of a “Gabriel, are you alright? We don’t have to if you’re too tired.”

She’d even given him the perfect excuse. How could he keep letting her down? He saw the brightness of his son’s eyes fade and he heard his own voice saying “No, it’s alright. We can go.”

Someone must have turned Bastien on again because his radiance immediately began to shine on them.

Bastien finished his fruit and was eating his cookie in the living room while he was still nibbling at his own breakfast. He hadn’t wanted Nathalie to feel his apprehension with the whole situation, but it was impossible.

He was tense and unable to carry a conversation.

“Bas, could you go play with your toys in your room, honey?”

Nathalie wasn’t talking to him, but somehow, he felt like a husband about to be lectured by his wife. He’d been there and done that too many times when Emilie was alive not to recognize that tactic.

When Bastien was out of earshot he raised his eyes from his bowl to look at Nathalie.

The conflict in her eyes was obvious. It was clear that she was torn between giving him a chance and protecting their son from him. He couldn’t fault her for that. He knew what kind of father he’d been to Adrien and he’d never want to impose that on his youngest, but Adrien was an adult now. He knew how to be the father of a boy in his late teens, a young adult…but of a toddler?

He was nearing his fifties now. Could he do it? Could he keep up?

Nathalie kept up. Alone. And she wasn’t much younger than he was. She just did what she had to the same way she’d done what she had to for his family in the past.

He was such a coward.

“Gabriel.” Her voice was a mix of worry and disappointment. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing. It’s just…I don’t know if I can do it. Be a father again, I don’t know if I can.”

“Oh.” The worry was gone. There was just the disappointment this time.

“You’re welcome to join us if you want. But I won’t hold it against you if you don’t.”

Then she raised from her seat, put the dishes in the washing machine, and went to Bastien’s room to call him.

She came out with Bastien’s clothes in one hand and told him, “I’m going to bathe him in the ensuite. The bathroom is all yours.”

---

As it turned out when Nathalie emerged from her room Gabriel was bathed, wearing a beige suit and a white buttoned-up shirt. Without the ever-present waistcoat and tie. This was the most casual she’s ever seen him since…since forever, surely. 

She gave him a small shy smile in appraisal and tried to swallow her hope.

“Where’s your four-piece suit, Mr. Agreste?”

He offered her a half-smile. “I thought it was a nice change. Besides, I don’t want the press to get wind of this yet. I want to do this at our own pace. I am disguised as myself.” He said making a lame joke to break the tension while he approached her and took both of her hands in his, “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I want to do this. I’m just…”

“I know.” She interrupted him. “I know you’re scared. I am too. This is big, Gabriel. This could change our entire lives, but it doesn’t matter to me anymore. Bastien is everything to me now. I’m not asking you to be a parent to him. I’m not asking anything of you. You could be his mommy’s friend forever if that’s what you wish.  Just be careful. That’s all I’m asking. That you are careful with his feelings.”

…..

His mommy’s friend. Gabriel internally humpfed at the idea. It was a ridiculous thought. But after what he’d just done, he could concede that Nathalie had her reasons and that she was being very supportive so he just said, “I can promise you that. You were right yesterday. But I do want to do right by you.”

“Just don’t think this is the only way you could do that.”

It was sad really, how little faith Nathalie had in him and how she had a way to express that and still make him feel that it was alright. How she was, maybe not satisfied but at least resigned   with whatever scrape of commitment with them he could offer his own family because she believed that was all he was able to give  . It was just sad.

He hugged her, kissed the top of her head, and was about to tell her something when Bastien reappeared, and they had to break apart.

---

They went to lunch and Bastien was finally showing signs of fatigue. It was a relief actually, as it had looked like the boy was either a nuclear plant or he photosynthesized his own energy because it seemed he had an endless supply of energy. It was amazing how that boy went up and down those padded toys.  

“How do you do it alone? I can barely keep him in sight for more than a few seconds before he reappears somewhere else?”

“I practiced with Adrien.” She replied with a smirk. He looked surprised and she explained. “Sometimes when Emilie kidnaped me from work, we took Adrien to the park or places like this to play and socialize.

“You never told me that.” He smiled enjoying this new side of her and how open she was being with her little transgressions.

“I would never. Even though it was not professional behavior at all she was my boss’ wife and you never told her off so for all intents and purposes I considered that part of my job.” Her smile grew wider. “And that kids watch he wears all the time? It has a GPS tracker on it.” She said triumphantly.


It was incredible what the lack of a work contract could do to a relationship. Nathalie, for one, was never this carefree with him before. Even after she became ill and had started to live in the mansion, when she began taking more liberties with him and talked more openly, joked even, it had never been this.

To see her here surrounded by all these impossible little monsters and still in control but so much more relaxed…and those tendrils slipping out of her ponytail in the back of her neck was…different.

He was meeting a lot of new Nathalies apart from the version he’d already known and missed.

---

And when they arrived home Gabriel had offered to carry the sleepy child so that Nathalie would have her hands free to open the door. 

His son was a feather in his arms. His cheek was scrunched against his shoulder giving him a cartoonist quality and his hair smelled like a mixture of sweat and the baby perfume his mother had put in him that morning.

He put Bastien in his bed as they left the bedroom Nathalie left the door ajar.

“So, what did you think of today?”

“It was…different. Tiring. Not how I’d choose to spend my time but he’s not going to be three forever so I think I can manage.”

“I can’t disagree with you. Sometimes I just take him there because I know he’ll get tired, and I’ll have a moment for myself.”

That was the opposite of what he was expecting to hear. She looked cool and in control at all times, he’d never think she wasn’t enjoying, and he’d also been expecting judgment and another disappointed face, instead, he was getting a “What? You said it yourself, Gabriel. I’m a single mother of a very energetic little boy. Sometimes I wonder when I will have some time for myself again for, you know, adult stuff and talk about something not child-related. And you know me, this...” she made a circular movement with one hand, “was never my plan.”

“But you didn’t shy away from it either. Why, Nathalie? In all the years I have known you I had never pegged you for the family type.”

She looked a bit pensive. Or sad. Without the miraculous on it was hard to say.

“Why would you? You were my boss.” Her voice was small. There was definitely something here.

“Yes, but. Was it all I was to you? There was a time I thought we were more than that. That we were friends.”

“We were. But maybe you weren’t paying attention to me.” And he was going to say something, but she didn’t give him time. “I mean, you took care of me. You paid attention to my health issues, and you took care of me. But you never really paid attention to me.”

“Is that how you’d always felt?”

“Uhum.” She nodded.

That answer made him breathe hard and take a seat in the exact same spot where he had slept the night before and squint his eyes for a few seconds. She followed him to the sofa.

“Maybe you’re right. I should have paid more attention to you. I was just so consumed with my quest for the miraculous that everything and everyone fell to the back of my mind. I’m sorry.”

Nathalie sat by his side but reclined to the back of the sofa so all she could see of him was the back of his neck but he heard her say, “It’s alright. It’s in the past now.”

Suddenly Gabriel fell back in the same position she was now and changed the topic. "Adrien doesn't know about him yet.”

She turned her head to look at him as if saying for him to keep going. So, he went on. “I wanted to know what the situation was exactly. I didn’t even know if you’d let me see him. I wanted to have something more concrete to tell Adrien”

“Adrien is what now? Twenty?”

“Yes.” Had her mind always worked in this sinuous manner? She did the same yesterday with the Adrien-tea-pull-the-sofa-Adrien-again conversation. It made his mind have to work hard to keep up.

“It’s his second year at university, then.” She did the math in her head.  “He's on his break now, isn’t he?”

“Yes. He is in Spain with Marinette now.”

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng? The bowler hat girl?”

“Yes. You remember her?”

“Of course. She made heart-eyes whenever she saw Adrien.”

Gabriel made a shocked noise, “What? But they were what? Fourteen?”

She smirked and said, “You Agreste men. Always oblivious to what’s right in front of you.” But then it looked like she regretted what she’d just said.

“I promise I will pay more attention.” And since that made her look more relieved, Gabriel thought he must have said the right thing.

“About Adrien. You can tell him, but I think it would be easier if he just came to visit after we decide how to handle this. You went from one hundred percent sure you want to be his father to completely freaking out about it the next day. Maybe you need time to adjust. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want Gabriel.” She stressed.

“Nathalie.” They were again in the same sideways position they were in the night before. “I know I freaked out and perhaps you’re right, I do need time to adjust, but I do know I want to do this. That's not what that was about. It’s just that you and Emilie made it seem so easy and it’s not easy for me. You know very well that even when she was still around, I wasn’t a present dad. She nudged me into doing things. She brought Adrien to the atelier, she forced me to be a better father and after she left I was all Adrien had, and I was incapable of being the father that Adrien needed. And Bastien is so little, and I am older now.”

He knew he must have a crease between his eyes and that he was talking about serious stuff here so he didn’t understand why the hell  Nathalie was smiling? “What?”

“Nothing. It’s just…it’s good to know you’re taking this seriously. That you’re not here just out of guilt or a sense of responsibility that I know is part of it too, but…”

“I am.”

“Don’t worry so much, Gabriel. You see, it’s hard work. Exhausting, actually, but it’s not as difficult as you’re making it out to be. Just relax and be yourself…” Then she squinted her eyes and smirked before saying, “or not.”

He hit her with a pillow and was greeted with bright eyes and the fullest smile he’s ever seen on her face. “If you break my glasses, you’re giving me a new pair.”

“Can I come next weekend?”

“Yes. And bring your bathing suit. Were going to the beach.”

“The beach?” He made a disgusted face. “I thought you hated it.”

“I do. And I know you do too, but Bastien loves it.”

He dropped his head so dramatically she thought it might fall to the ground.

“Don’t you think this should wait until I bring Adrien here? He’d love to run around through the sand with Bastien.” But since she wasn’t being dismissive of the idea at all he decided to go for all or nothing. “I still have both miraculous, you know…” He saw her drawback, but he went on anyway, “I could teleport here.”

Her body relaxed again. It was clear she had questions, but at least he didn’t ruin everything. Yet.

“What are you proposing?”

“Well, I can’t just not go to work, but I could come after work and have dinner with you.” He was feeling a bit self-conscious. But at least she hadn’t shut out his idea completely. On the contrary, she seemed to be considering it.

“Could you bring us those chocolate croissants from the Dupain-Cheng bakery?”

“Whatever you want, my dear.” His smile came and went quickly because “I have to go now. It’s a long way home without a miraculous.”

“I know. Why don’t you take a bath and change clothes while I make you something for you to take with you?”

He smiled again. He noticed he hadn’t been smiling so much since Adrien’s last visit. The house felt empty without him there.

“I’d like it very much.”

---

“Gabriel?”

“Why am I smelling baby shampoo on you.”

She doesn’t remember Gabriel being so easy to fluster but doing this to him and seeing how juvenile he looks fresh out of the shower, wet hair combed to the side and wearing only slacks and a shirt and pink cheeks is too tempting and she’s always been weak for him. It’s a good change of pace now that these feelings she’s always had for Gabriel can come out disguised in the banter they seem to fall back on sometimes. It feels liberating.

“I…” He put one hand behind his head, just like Adrien did when he was a teen, and if she remembered it correctly all girls in a 100-feet radius would either sigh or downright sway when he did that. She was trying very hard not to do either. “I told you I was nervous about coming here. I forgot to pack half my toiletries.”

“It’s ok. Bastien won’t mind. Will you Bas?”

“No.”

Gabriel turned around to see his son playing with the building blocks he’d gifted him.

“I have to go Nathalie.”

She couldn’t help the disappointment in her heart, even if she knew this was coming. “You should at least eat something first.” I made coffee and some sandwiches. I’ll even join you.” Was she sounding as desperate as she felt? She hoped not.

They ate in silence until “So, what time should I come tomorrow?”

She raised her eyes to him and “Around 6 o’clock?”

“If it’s ok.”

She smiled at him after saying “Sure. We’ll be here.” He smiled back but why was he acting weird? Gabriel has never been insecure around her.

Then, when they were both finished, Gabriel went to his son. He didn’t know quite what to say. He wanted to hug him. Say that he loved him already. Instead, he just messed his hair and said, “Take care buddy.” The I love you stayed only in his mind.