My Sucky, Wonderful Life

Another close call

I hid behind the curtain and listened to the song. Outside, I probably looked cool, just hangin' behing the curtain and listening to music. But on the outside I was thinkg...

What should I do? What should I do? WHAT SHOULD I DO?!

Yeah, a little over the top, but that is how my mind thinks sometimes.

The sound suddenly cut off and I peeked from the curtain to see Kurt staring in my direction.

"How long have you been there?" he asked, putting away his guitar.

"From the begining." I whispered simply. I pulled my sleeves farther down my arm nervously and looked down at my feet.

"Was that you?" he asked. "Were you the person I heard singing?"

I thought about my answer. If I answered 'yes', he would know that it was me and I'm not sure if I want that. But if I answered 'no', he would think that it was someone else and maybe someone else would get the credit. But did I want that?

I shook my head and let the curtain fall in between us.

No one needs to know what my voice really sounds like. Especially not some new kid. Soon he will learn that he shouldn't talk to me, for his own good.

I picked up my guitar and put it back into it's case. I heard Kurt start playing again and then walked back out into the classroom.

I can skip the rest of class.  I thought to myself. I'll go up onto the roof for the rest of class. It shouldn't affect my grades.

So I headed up to the roof. Climbing the stairs, I hummed softly to myself.

He  had played the guitar so beautifully, yet carelessly, like there was a real meaning to it.

I reached the door to the roof and opened it.

Leaning against the railing, I looked out onto the school grounds.

Hiding won’t help anything. A voice inside my head said.

I’m not hiding.

Yes you are.

Not I’m not! This is not hiding! What I usually do is hide!

That’s what I’m talking about. You should try to fight back. Stand up for yourself and the rest of the kids, instead of just letting her beat you. It won’t change anything.

Fighting back won’t change anything either! It will just make her try to hurt us more! I’m not strong enough anyway.

Then make yourself strong enough. Work out when you have the time, join a kickboxing club. Find some way that you can fight back! Stop putting yourself down!

I’m not putting myself down! I’m just thinking rationally! She is ten times stronger then I will ever be, no matter what I do!

Then instead of fighting back, ask Brenda to tell the police for you! She could say that she saw the beating happen and then you would be free!

I’m not going to put Brenda and her family in danger like that! If Ms. Denerson says that she will kill us, then I’m sure that she wouldn’t hesitate to kill Brenda’s family too. Plus, what if the police don’t believe her, or Ms. Denerson would make up some lie to get her out of it and Brenda into the blame. I won’t risk it!

You have to take chances if you want things to change!

I can last another year!

But can the kids?

That stopped me in  my tracks. What if they couldn’t? What would I do if I lost one of them? I wouldn’t be able to stand it if I lost one of them.

“DON’T SAY STUFF LIKE THAT!” I yelled, falling onto the ground and holding my head in my hands.

“Don’t say stuff like that. Don’t stay stuff like that.” I whispered repeatedly as a sat still on the cold ground.

“Claire? Is that you?” I heard a familiar voice call, worriedly.

I looked up and saw Luke standing above me. I look of grief on his face.

“Claire, are you alright?” he asked. Kneeling down beside me. His eyes widened as he saw my arms.

I hadn’t realized that I pulled up the sleeves! I quickly pulled then down, then stood up and ran.

One person knowing is trouble enough, two people would be a bother and dangerous.