jealousy, jealousy | lee heeseung

chapter 2 | fighting my mind

you went home that day having a bunch of mixed emotions in your head. was heeseung right? was i just too jealous? what do i do now? all these questions circulated around in your head as you started getting dizzy. you brushed it off for now and went on social media.

as soon as you opened up your Instagram page, it was filled with hate comments from school mates. everyday you get get something along the lines of, "apologize to yuna and sunwoo!" "you deserve to die." "what did the world do to deserve you?" you would be lying if you say that it didn't hurt you just a little bit. pulling up yuna's page, you see a new post with her and her boyfriend captioned, "nothing could break us."

how you wish that was you. not that you like sunwoo or anything, you barely talked. just the fact that some people could be so indestructible, not even the more harmful rumors you put out there could hurt them for more than a day, hurt you on a high level.

you truly believed that nobody has ever loved you. your parents could care less about you, tossing you aside. you're lucky enough they even let you stay at their million dollar mansion. if you ever tried to question them you would be out the door in a split second. the only reason you haven't moved out is because you're scared to be on your own, with nobody to support you whatsoever.

getting tired of your own thoughts, you plopped down on your comfy bed and started listening to music. you had nothing better to do. after a while however, heeseung's words started coming back to your head, "you better apologize for what you did y/n. is it fun seeing other people suffer because of you? just because you're the daughter of a wealthy CEO with a huge company doesn't change the fact that you are a jealous bitch."

you frowned as you sunk down deeper into your bed, loneliness surrounding you. realization hits you like a tidal wave. maybe i am just jealous. maybe I should apologize.

you kept thinking and thinking as you layed there. not knowing what to do, you randomly started crying. tears fell from your glassy eyes non stop as you thought about what heeseung told you. you felt your pride slowly slipping away as you realized what was going on. you're letting your defenses down. that was something you vowed not to show anyone. but you're alone so that shouldn't count right?

after a long time of debating you decided to not apologize just yet. you can't let heeseung win. you can't let yuna win. you can't let anyone else but you win. right now, your pride matters more than anything else. maybe you don't deserve to be loved but hey, at least you're well known right? even if it is something bad like the school villain you were just happy that you were getting acknowledged. plus you don't know any better since nobody has shown you affection in the 19 years you've been on earth anyways.

after calming yourself down, you slowly got up to check the mirror. you notice that your eyes are all puffy and red from all the crying.

"wow did i cry that hard," you said out loud.

thank god you had your bucket hat. it was your lifesaver. you couldn't even count the amount of times that you've hid under the thing while heeseung constantly bugged you. people were right when they said that the eyes are the windows to the soul. everyone could tell what you feel by your eyes. all you would have to do was to cover them.

suddenly, you hear a loud shout from downstairs.

"YANG Y/N! COME DOWNSTAIRS RIGHT NOW."

"shit." you mumble to yourself.

your father had never cared about you. all he cared about was your grades and how you acted in front of his business partners. you quickly gathered all your things and went downstairs with your bucket hat in your hand.

"this sunday we will have dinner with mr. lee, one of my good friends and business partners. you are to go and stay quiet. make a good impression because we don't know what's coming for our companies."

you were shocked. sunday was only three days away yet you look like a mess. how were you supposed to make a good impression when you look like you hadn't slept in ages?

honestly, you had no choice but to say yes. usually when you tag along with your dad with his business meetings, all you do was smile and look pretty. sometimes if he allowed you, you would even go chat with your dad's business partner's kids. it didn't seem that bad this time either since he didn't mention anything else. other than the fact that you look like a total vampire you were fine in going.

"do not misbehave, young lady. your mother and i have high expectations of you." he added.

damn. this was the first time he pulled the "high expectations" card in a while. you wondered what was so important about this meeting.

feeling overwhelmed by heeseung's comments and thinking so much, you decided to take a little stroll in the park. it might seem odd for some people to picture a rich girl in a downtown park these days but it's really what you do to get fresh air. you threw on some sweatpants and a hoodie to kind of hide yourself. you wouldn't want to bump into people from school at the park. couldn't forget the bucket hat of course. you never leave the house without it at this point. as you leave the house, you feel relieved as if you just escaped an action which you kind of did. with that, you walked your way to the park.