Remember This Part

14. The Party is Fun Until It's Not

Alex.

I do a scan of the parking lot outside of the Mills building, searching for any trace of a lingering ex-boyfriend. But I just see the usual Friday nightlife. Students who overdid it on the pregaming are already stumbling around and talking loudly.

A large group of people cross the lot and pass by the front of my car, briefly illuminated by the headlights. Naturally, they're headed for the main Greek life strip. I never got into frat parties. I think I went to one in my sophomore year. I hung back and watched as people did things they would regret as soon as they were in their right minds. It wasn't even the interesting kind of entertaining, and I left less than an hour in. These days, I only go to a few selected bars when I want to socialize, and—on occasion—I'll attend something Lyle puts together, like tonight.

Thea appears by the entrance of her building at exactly eleven o'clock. I had gotten here early because I didn't want to risk her waiting outside in the cold. She's bundled beneath a thick jacket and a knitted hat, her gloved hands folded across her chest. Despite the layers, my eyes catch on to the tight leather pants clinging to her legs, and I have to force my attention elsewhere. I'm only just now realizing that I've never seen her in anything but baggy ripped jeans and sweaters. Of course, I like that, too. I think I'd like anything on her. But there's something about the leather.

She opens the door and seats herself, flashing me a genial smile.

"Hi," she says happily as she buckles her seatbelt.

"Hi," I echo. My arm comes up to rest behind her seat as I turn to back out of the lot, and then we're on the road and heading toward my apartment. I can feel it between us, this thing that doesn't have a name. I felt it yesterday at the apartment. I wonder if she knew that I had wanted to kiss her that entire time. I almost did.

It's gotta be the way she looks at me sometimes. Soft, bright eyes framed by wispy lashes, her lips turned up in a smile. It doesn't seem fair to claim those lips for someone like me. But if I get the chance to do it, I can't promise that I won't. It's been all I can think about these days.

And it isn't just the physical attraction, either. It's everything about her. Her compassion, her humor, her gentle disposition...I want to do with her what I haven't done with anyone, really. I want her to be mine. All of her. I just can't hurt her. The idea of her looking at me and comparing me to that other asshole makes me sick. I know people have abused her trust in the past. I don't want to be one of those people.

I won't be one of those people. I'm making that decision right now.

I just have to figure out what she wants.

"So what kind of people get invited to these elite parties?" Thea asks suddenly, glancing over at me.

"Mostly girls that Lyle thinks are hot," I begin, grinning as I finish, "and then they bring the guys they think are hot."

"Poor Lyle," she murmurs, but her voice is caught in a laugh.

"He gets plenty of attention, don't worry," I assure her. "He rarely walks away from these things disappointed."

"What about you? I gotta say, you don't really strike me as a TGIF enthusiast," she points out.

"I'm not," I reply. "But Lyle loves to host events, so I tolerate them on occasion. Do you usually go to things like this?" Thea has a bouncy energy, and I could easily envision her at the center of a dance floor. At the same time, I could just as easily see her staying home every Friday night to watch reality TV.

"No," she says quickly, following it up with an amused snort. "I went to a couple parties back in my freshman year. They were so crowded that the walls were absolutely soaked with sweat, and everyone was already in their little groups, so it was a terrible way to meet people. Plus, I was too anxious to enjoy myself. I kept worrying about a cop bust, or worse." I didn't have to ask her what or worse would be.