Remember This Part

23. Things Get Ugly in the Parking Lot

Thea.

It's getting late again by the time Alex and I decide to break into the churros. I go to the fridge in his apartment and pull out the bag, peeking inside.

"Wow, he loaded us up," I say, walking back to the counter where Alex is preparing a baking sheet to warm them up. "He even threw in some cinnamon buns."

"Yeah, well, he likes to show off," Alex replies with a smile. But it's a sad kind of smile. I noticed he was smiling like that in the bakery, too.

I'm starting to be able to read Alex a little better after spending so much time with him. And if I had to guess, I'd say there's still a lot he hasn't told me. Angel clearly knows things about him and his family, things that I don't. Does it have something to do with Manuel? Or is it about his parents, the ones he never mentions?

I don't want to push him. He obviously has some walls up, and that's something I can understand. But at the same time, I want him to know that he can talk to me. After all, he's been there for me more than enough times already. I wish I could return the favor.

After I lay the pastries on the baking pan, I indulgently lick the icing off my fingers. For a moment, I feel Alex watching me with rapt attention, and I have to stifle a smirk. What can I say? Sometimes it's nice knowing that someone like him could be so interested in someone like me. It's nice knowing he's affected by me, as I am by him.

He makes quick work of sliding the tray into the oven, and then he hauls me close, encircling my waist with his arms.

I smile as he lowers his head and brings his lips down on mine. On instinct, I stretch my arms up and wrap them around his neck, anchoring us together. I go up on my toes, trying to make it easier for him. But of course, with his height, there's only so much I can do.

Luckily, his hands move from my waist to the back of my thighs, and I respond by hopping up to wrap my legs around his torso.

The kiss is warm and wonderful, but even now, I can feel him holding back. He's been careful all day. And while it thrills me to know that he cares for me like that, I don't want him keeping himself from me.

"Alex," I whisper against his lips. I move to kiss the corner of his mouth, and then his chin. "I'm not breakable."

He touches his forehead to mine.

"No, you're not," he says quietly. "You might be the strongest person I know, actually." I can't fight the blush that moves across my face, accompanied by an inevitable smile.

"Well, I've been working out," I say. He smirks and kisses me again. It starts off gentle, but when I open my mouth in a silent demand, he responds passionately. I feel the tension in his veins ebb, and a new type of simmering emerges from his body. I want to make him forget my past, my pain.

Sometimes—when I'm with him—I start to forget, too.

- - -

I nearly doze off as Alex drives me back to campus. I feel more comfortable in the passenger seat of his car than I do in my own bed sometimes. The heat is on, the music is playing, and my hand is clasped in his. I could slip into a dream at any moment. But then a car horn jerks me out of it right before we reach my dorm, stopping me at the doorstep of unconsciousness.

"You okay?" he asks, glancing over at me.

"Yeah," I answer honestly. "It's easy to fall asleep in this car."

"I'll take that as a compliment," he says with a grin. When he squeezes my hand gently, I look down at where ours are joined together. I've noticed that Alex is almost always holding some part of me when he's with me, whether it be my hand or my arm or my waist. It's hard to believe I once saw him as stoic and cold. He's not either of those things when we're together. He's warm and kind and careful, funny and affectionate. Everything I'd ever hoped for, more than I ever expected.