The way I loved you. (Book 2 of the Illicit Affairs Series)

Chapter IV

Steve Rogers had never grown accustomed to his body after the growth spurt that turned him from a scrawny, five foot four fifteen year old to an almost six feet tall, built sixteen year old. A whole summer spent training with Bucky and puberty had worked wonders for him.

Still, he was always bumping into furniture now, always unsure of were his body ended. The thing he was most uncomfortable with, even more than his clumsiness, was how people had started acting around him. In a few months, he had gone from being a wallpaper to being the centre of attention wherever he went. Bucky kept complaining about how he was invisible to girls now that his best friend was getting all the attention, but Steve wasn't flattered by it.

It made him angry how much people valued how he looked. He was still the same person, but now everyone acted like he was the most interesting thing on the planet. He was a romantic at heart, always getting crushes on girls and shyly trying to woo them, but he refused to date the same ones that had once laughed at him and were now suddenly interested.

The only girl who treated him like she always had was his best friend's little sister, which was sweet, but kind of depressing. Then, Bucky went on to ruin that, too.

The day her brother had teased her about her feelings, Steve's heart broke for Rebecca. He knew all too well how humiliating something like that could be for a kid her age, since he'd stood in her shoes too many times to count. He was furious at Bucky, and he'd ended up storming out. He thought about knocking on her bedroom door, but he concluded that she probably wouldn't want to see anyone, least of all him.

The next day, Bucky had shown up at his uncle's place, telling Steve he had apologised to her sister. Steve had always been too forgiving, and he had a soft spot for his best friend, so hugged him and invited him in.

From that day forward, however, Becca was never the same with him. Gone was the sweet girl who looked at him like he had put stars in the sky. He couldn't really blame her for acting cold, like he didn't existed. That was her childish defensive mechanism, and he understood that. Still, sometimes he missed the way things were, because, as platonic as his feelings for her were, he adored Becca. She was always so carefree and confident in that way that only kids could master, and he wished he could have stayed that way a little longer. He would have done everything to see that little spark she'd always had light up again.

When he and Bucky moved in together, he saw less and less of her, and each time his little Bec disappeared a bit more. She'd started dating this jock, Luke, and he hated it. He knew what high school football players acted like, and he knew he wouldn't treat her right, like she deserved. When he mentioned it to his best friend, he shrugged.

"If you're right, she'll learn through her mistakes." he said, waving a hand in dismissal.

"Shouldn't you be acting all big brother-y?" Steve had asked, because that's how he would have acted. He had a tendency to stick his nose in other people's business, especially when he thought they were being mistreated, and it had earned him a lot of punches.

"If he ever does anything wrong to her, I will." Bucky responded, and the conversation was over, because Steve knew he would.

In fact, when the incident with Nate happened, he was sure Bucky would cut off his balls and make him eat them, but Rebecca made him promise not to tell him. He had done enough damage, already, at least in her opinion. He personally wanted to throw him out of the car and get in to run him over, put the car in reverse and do it over and over again. They had different mindsets, unfortunately.

Rebecca had promised to keep out of trouble, and she mostly did. She still went to parties and got drunk, he had heard Winnie complain about it enough, and she'd started smoking. Steve found it funny how she thought she was being secretive while her clothes always smelled of smoked whenever she got back from the bathroom, which magically reeked of deodorant afterwards. When Mary had asked her about it, she had acted innocent, but he saw her sitting on the fire escape by her window, not caring about the weather, a cigarette between her shivering fingers. Bucky wasn't even concerned when his colleague stopped showing up at the shop, and, as time went on, Steve never felt the need to remind Becca of their agreement.