my lovely home~colby brock

the past✿

This chapter is can be triggering so do NOT read if you get triggered by drinking,sh, suicide attempt, and SA. The past of the Shiloh has a part in why she is how she is but you DO NOT HAVE to read this chapter. I don't want people triggered by me so this is your WARNING
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   I wake up and slug myself out of bed. I check the time on my phone and it reads 11:23 I get up and go change. I changed into a long flowy black skirt with little flowers and a wool sweater. I put on some cute shoes and a black purse. I Finnish changing and walk out the bathroom and Colby was dressed. We head down stairs and see Sam holding Kats hand. We run down the stairs and out the door. I walk to my car and kat followed me. Sam and Colby were riding together after a hour drive we arive.

       Sam and Colby do an hour and me and kat do 2 hours. A man talks through the instructions of the pod to the others and I walk to my room. I lock the door and take of my clothes. I do the pods in nude. I take a shower and shut the lights off. I clim into the pod. I close the pod door behind me. I lay down into the water and shut of the lights and music. I fall into a half awake half asleep state. Then ever thought, worry, anxiety causing issues all come to me.
 
   Everything that happened that night. The same night that made me fix my life.

          I was at a party, I always went and left once I got overwhelmed. I remember handing my drink to a friend. I went to the bathroom and made it quick. I took my drink back from my friends. I thoughts everyone was fine. But I felt it. I started getting dizzy, my body didn't feel real, waves of heat rushed over me. ^you can come with me^ I followed my so called friend out to his car. He took me to a hotel even though his house was 30min away. I was picked up but it wasn't by my friend. A complete stranger taking me to his room. They stripped me of my clothes. They touched me and forced there selves on me. Everything hurt. I woke up the next morning by myself. In a hotel bed in the middle of town. Everything was sore my legs buckle under me. The tears kept coming.i walked out of that building. Never checked out never payed I just left. I walked home. To the same little green house with a brocken mailbox. Only my brothers car was there. 16 year old me walked through the front door and saw my brother as he tapped his foot on the hard floor. Nawing at his thumb nail. He jumped up the moment he saw me. In my short glittery dress that hugged my skin and off the shoulder revealing my calerbone lined with forced hickeys. My hair was messy my makeup ruined. I dropped to the floor and my brother hugged me. He sent me to my bathroom to clean myself up. I wasn't planning on leaving the bathroom. I was done. The hate,the resentment, the people, the liquor and drugs. I was done with it all. I let my mind and body control my hands with a blade. Downing the liquor I had stashed in the bathroom cabinet in my room. After that everything is kinda a blur. All I remember is banging at my door and my brother lifting me up and running down the stairs. I remember the lights being shined into my eyes. The feeling of the ivs as they pushed my skin. After that there was nothing. Till I opened my eyes and saw my brother sitting at the edge of my bed holding my hand with the iv. I guess he was trying to hide it from me. I never liked needles. The guilt rushed over me seeing the bags that lined my brothers face. The sticky lines of damp skin from the tears. The doctor came in and dragged my brother out. I had sleep for a week. After that I was put in therapy and had to take antidepressants. A few days later I was released. Me and my brother drove home. Infront of us was my car. And all my belongings. I hoped out and was meet with a note. 

           Dear Shiloh,
You are no longer welcome here on our home. You are no longer our daughter. We don't want to have to take care of you and your pitty patty bs. So do not so much as enter our home. You are not welcomed here and we are no longer paying for your things so find some were else to stay. Maybe you can stay with that boy you did it with.

Senseraly
Mom,and dad

I cried seeing that note. I cried and cried. Seth went into the house and started yelling at our parents. I couldn't tell what he had said. After about an hour he came back out with some boxes and put them in his car. Then we drove.

      I let the memory come at me. You can never fight them you just have to accept them. If what happened never did happen I would be an achoalic living with my parents but I'm not. I'm a model and a YouTuber with so many loving fans. And Seth and mine relationship is so much better. I'm living my dream and exploring. Im with my friends. The same friends I see as family. What happened was my past✿ not who I am.

  I think I had fallen asleep in the pod when I was waken up by the specker saying it was time to get out. I drag myself out of the water and shower I put my clothes back on and walk out. I had things I still had to do and kat wanted to come with so the boys agreed to coming.

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Hey guys I was going to post this last night but my internet went wonky and I couldn't get it published so you get it now:)