not dating myself | a memoir

I want my money back

OK so I met this guy on Facebook name Charles Polk Who seemed like a very nice enough young man until pretty soon he ended up blocking me on Facebook because of my disability and my PTSD which is also a disability I also have Asperger's and I told him that which was of the dead end to this relationship with the guy that I was dating on WhatsApp he first blocked me off of Facebook and then said on friggin WhatsApp that it was my disability that was causing him his problems and I told him that I wanted my money back meaning I wanted nothing to do with him that he was wasting my time. He was nothing more than a lowlife piece of scum who is treating people with disabilities like shit. I will admit I do have some limitations I do have an IQ of 196 almost to 200 but that doesn't mean that I am don't have disability or PTSD and the fact that he treated me like shit pissed me off because of it he's a fat fucking slob who is nothing more than a piece of shit. Who is really has no place on this earth I don't like saying that about someone. I was so mad when I found out that he was ragging on my PTSD and my autistic disability which wasn't really a disability to begin with but more of a gift. I said I've had it I want my time and money back meaning I've had it I am fed up. This was the day after I called one guy on his problems because I thought he was being a psychopath at the time but did not realize that he had a disability that made him out to look like that. So I was on his in his shoes for that whole fucking day after my mouth off about Luke. The guy that I thought was a psychopath. So that being said I was not very happy one Charles treated me like shit because of my disabilities PTSD and Asperger's and I ended up being blocked and ragdoll on me and disrespected on because of such problems that are really beyond my control except for the PTSD. Even at that I do have a right to be loved and cared for. I did not like what was going on and the guy before that turned out to be an anti Semite which means an anti-somatic son of a bitch who hated Jews and Asians something that is a big no-no for me. That guys name was Mulamin Keita. OK me and this guitar fellow had a relationship for quite some time a few years back but has caused me nothing but shit when I found out he was in the dungeon sacks and also Nazi dominatrix women which I'm not even gonna get started with because I don't want to get blocked. So there was a lot of fighting going on with that relationship and a lot of fucking toxic stress he was being toxic telling me I was failing every fucking life test there was but really he was just failing his own tests. This guy was supposed to be a doctor and he was nothing more than a child and a Antisemite meaning of Nazi himself I was so mad I told him fuck you and you rebel flag I've had it. Not dating myself was not what is the worst thing I've ever done to myself in my whole fucking life. There has been times where I've met some good people and they haven't bothered me but it's still the toxicity of a relationship without yourself that is the problem.
You are enjoying getting involved with these freaking idiots know these bitches and bastard who do nothing but ruin my life for a month or so and depending on what time of my life either my family's life gets thrown all the workers life gets ruined either way I don't like it. So basically what I'm telling God right now as I want my money back from dealing with the shit head on dating sites and other stuff that have been nothing more than trouble then relationship that I want to be autoromantic again instead of having to deal with shitheads unless you wanna be my friends and I pick my friends very carefully these days I don't pick them out out of nowhere like I used to in high school because of the psychopath factor. I have been told that I have been doing much better except for the time when I badmouth Luke that I've been doing leaps and bounds with my social skills and my chores and other things that I've been doing it around the group home. This is something to be proud of and some thing that is good is that I'm nearly walking on my anger but from time to time it pops out of nowhere causing shit. Usually when I have in 10 Sanger it's usually when I'm in a fucking relationship in the first place with some other dork. Not with myself. I am most happiest when I'm auto romantic and not hetero by or lesbian or pansexual or anything that involves an external person to help you feel good about yourself I don't believe that you need another person to make yourself feel good. That being said I was very angry with Charles. And I felt what Luke felt when I open my big fat fucking mouth. Disrespect and a shock that is beyond belief that someone could say shit like this over a disability. So I ended up that day apologizing to Luke from the bottom of my heart also apologizing to any worker who may of heard me saying the offending words to Luke and also to the woman who called me on my behaviour that day. I still am feeling sorry and bad about what I had said to Luke not because of what Charles did to me but because I felt what Luke felt dejected rejected and more or less being called a retard which was not very nice. Except I kept being friends with Luke whereas me and Charles are no longer friends or anything I've had my friends on Facebook telling him that he's a shit box and everything else I don't believe in cyber bullying but I've had them tell them Charles that is that he is a freaking fucktard. And enable list as well and ablest meaning someone who discriminate on somebody's abilities or disabilities. That did not scream right with me at all and I do not like that I have dealt with an ablest person before once in my childhood name Christian Cameron I had punched him out numerous times one time I got called out for that not just called out but threaten North Guantánamo which was not very nice on the part of the principal but that's beside the point I still want my money back for that Punch inflected. I am going to tell you when I comes to other people I have regretted a lot of things either knowing them or dealing with them or dating them. But the only person I don't regret ever meeting was Luke he was a very nice guy and a very nice guy he's just not at my place of residence now which makes me sad. That's the only external force that makes me happy other than that I have to do everything else on my own as an auto romantic person. I don't believe in dating anymore and if any dating sites were asking me for money I'd say well I'm asking you for money because I've had enough of your shit services. First by being fucked around because of my disabilities and also because I have other extenuating circumstances like DNA and other stuff. I don't believe that you should be ragging on people or breaking up on people because of their either DNA disability religion orientation or otherwise don't do that you don't bullshit people and Charles was horse shitting me because of my DNA and also because of my DNA my disabilities is not my fault that I am more prone to disabilities like Asperger's and PTSD that being said I'm just a human being and I'll be fucking treated like that a human being the fact that he was being a shithead was nothing more than crap after I was dealing with that Nazi moola mean who is nothing more than to have a fucktard himself I think he's probably fucking himself with some dungeon porn. As we speak and I really hate to be speaking naughty like that but he's probably doing it. That being said I don't like antisemites anti-somatic's and anti-Asian is an anti-Muslim as I don't believe in that shit I don't believe in racism and stuff that shit should be have gone long long ago since the holocaust and that just drives me wild that doctors still think this way that you can go and trade another human like shit because of their DNA or religion that is fucked up and backwards haven't we learned anything from the fucking holocaust I don't think so. Because they're still doing it in Xinjiang China and still doing it today and doing it more and more frequently it's just not being mentioned as much in the news and it's pissing me off I find that people piss me off more who don't have disabilities because I find that if you don't have a disability you don't have a brain. And the fact that you have an MD or PhD doesn't mean that you have to be a fucking brainiac it just means that you are educated it doesn't mean that you're going to be ignorant it means that you're gonna be most likely to be ignorant to begin with and I despise ignorance because ignorance is what causes PTSD at all levels and ignorance is what causes stupid shit like the holocaust I am not denying it I'm just saying that it's a shit show that shouldn't of happened but we have to learn from it and everyone on this fucking planet I think should learn from the holocaust know why do you think I'm talking about this because I got some a sprinkle of drew in me yes I have a little bit of Jewish in me and I despise doctors naturally because of my Asian and Jewish heritage and I hate the fact of these fucking doctors think that they are smart one really they're not XL educated retards. Then that's all they are because they're going to hurt people again they're going to torture people again and they're going to do medical experiments on children and twins again I bet you to the one they're going to do it again because we're not learning from it I think doctors should be taught more or less about the holocaust and what it has done particularly with mango lay and the assess doctors I think they should be mentioned in medical curriculum that you should not do this ever again. I despise doctors with a passion because they are not taught about the holocaust in fact I have had many doctors in my life denied the holocaust even before I did the spit test. That being said I am hopping mad and I have written this letter to a fictitious stocker I'll just get it out.

Do you darker I remember the first person who survived and hold of the horrors Don by man fellow man who swore an oath not to do harm or do hurt others instead again like Asians and Roma Roma gypsies are Asian and hurting other people because of the religion the Jewish and their DNA the Asians and Roma gypsies something that shouldn't be shown mean anything to anyone but for a few certain people DNA and religion mean the world to the point where they'll kill a vast amount of people.
Dear MD I am Asian with a hint of Jewish as well as Muslim ethnic groups as well I will tell you I am not a degenerate or undesirable or a guinea pig I am a human just like you think twice Dr. thank you very much and I saw my name.