not dating myself | a memoir

Internet

I started being creative on the Internet around the time of COVID-19 which was two or three years ago going on three years ago. It's very therapeutic to pick up a guitar press the voice memo button and just let her rip with a singing and belted out with a guitar is also fine to be a virtual sooner I just found that out a few days ago about being a virtual singer that's like a singer without musical instruments with her now IMVU like character.   I found that out by being on spacer there is this virtual singer who is on every side called Purdy the virtual Sanger and she's very good and I decided I was going to start doing some virtual singing I went on some app that's why IMVU  that allows me to record things and I'm able to sing now I can only go in shag men's and make a music video there's about worth two minutes worth but it still virtual singing is not me singing it might be me saying but it's my character that is singing that being said I enjoy it very much my name is sweeties the virtual singer. And sweeties is a Juggalette to.  I invented her on I think VU not IMVU but another I am VU Lakeside and I ended up being a bully you make facial expressions and stuff and then I said it and also record my voice on the app so I just try to make music videos with that I made one called Covid heads because people are call hate bats hate Asians hate everything that cause that quote caused covid. I still remember meeting my first Covid had when I was trying to get a goddamn thing of Doritos I still do it still haunts me to this day he said you weren't born in Canada like as if he was CBS say or costumes or some shit that involves a passport instead he was ragging on my DNA and ragging on my shed as if I was dirt and my mother had to get them in big shit she threaten to bite his balls off I remember correctly and said if you ever talk that way to anyone else again I will bite your balls off I think I may have mentioned this before but anyway that was the first Covid head and then I started hearing about people saying how bats are god awful and horrible because of Covid well I'm sorry the only I don't know what strain a bat but there's only one kind about that causes diseases and that bad causes Marburg and Ebola other than that all the other bats have been clean except for smell wise and shit wise. I don't believe in that Covid should be a problem with an animal and if even if it was caused by an animal it's not the animals goddamn fault if the human for not washing their fucking hands. That was the whole idea about the song was that Covid was caused by humans and humans should be ashamed of themselves for blaming it on bats. I do compare myself regularly to a bat because I have super hearing enhanced hearing enhance smell I don't know why but I just have the hearing almost like echolocation of a bat and a sniffer of a bat like I can smell everything and everything that's around me if I smell perfume and flowers I smell perfume and flowers if I smell shit summer I smell that shit. I've always been interested in that since I was 13 years old this is a good memory I have this is why I despise people who think Covid is caused by bats. This is why are used to read a trilogy for school called the Silverwing trilogy about a runt bad name Shane and Shane was a round. Me and he was smaller and tinier and shorter than the other bats. I'm also a runt.  And as well as I am smart just like the bat in the box was very smart as well SHade was a very smart bat he thought smart and fast because of his diminutive size as a rant. I have done the same thing many times in my childhood.  I didn't enjoy having to write down the questions for the homework on the books but the box themselves were awesome I still have the box to the stay I bought them myself and still have them to this day I have read them and read them over and over again till my eyes are sore through the best thing I've ever had read other than the stand and it's goosebumps are you afraid of the dark and other things I didn't even know there are you afraid of the dark is a book but it turned out to be when I found out on Facebook. That got me onto to the warrior cats by Erin hunter and the seeker bears also by Erin hunter. Animal fantasies and I am not talking about pervert and stuff I'm talking about stuff like that Silverwing trilogy and the warrior cat saga and the seeker Bears by Erin hunter and castle Paul or just awesome to read and also animal farm was pretty good because it gives you an escape it's like a fantasy it gives you an escape from reality you're in the body of the animal you're allowed to do what you want when you want like an animal you're not confined like a human. That being said I've always loved the warrior cats I still have some other box I don't have any of the seeker bear books but I do have read them before and they were really awesome I've also read Sylvia day that's the only Aronica other than Anis nin that I will read.   But that's because I'm a big kid now a big adult. If I'm gonna roll I can watch erotica stuff like Sylvia day and anise Jan and other good things like a delta Venus little birds stuff like that don't bother me because I'm over way over the age of 18 but what bothers me is shit like Fifty Shades of Grey Fifty Shades of Grey fuck that shit that stuff is for people who want to torture her women and children. And I do not believe in that I think erotica should be more seen as consensual adults tasteful loving maybe a little Ronchi at times but not harmful how I would get my kid to watch not watch but read Delta Venus and a younger age not to learn about anatomy but do you know what means to be a huge human or a part of being a human which is that you have desires and other things that are very important I will not let yell James go into my fucking house or group home or anywhere else yell James is sick for writing this in the first place. It's one thing to have the balls or the boobs if you're a woman to go around writing erotica but it's one thing to be stupid and after writing BDSM which is more or less torture porn which I do not stand for because I was tortured as a child by terrorists you wouldn't believe that but it's true because it's in my medical files and it's in my brains files as well I still have nightmares from time to time being tortured by these retarded terrorist who did don't really have anything better to do but her kids and they think they do a full the name of God no they do it for themselves because they're perverted shitheads.   This is why I don't believe in religion or politics and/or I believe in spirituality spirituality brings us together and helps us be human helps us heal helps us be human and helps us grow religion and politics tear us down I'm more of a shaman is him and native American spirited type person instead of a religion spirited person or a political spirited person because I find that shamanism and nature based religions like shamanism paganism and Wiccan are more positive I don't even call them religion I just called them spirituality because that's what they are they help me with my my PTSD many times with crystals and I'm getting a crystal pyramid to meditate on I'm not meditate on but meditate with as well as I have used crystals to help me get rid of my problems instead of going to the doctor and getting extra medication that might have side effects. Also these philosophies or spirituality's shamanism, Wicca, pagan actually show you that yet that there's another side to life after life you don't have to be afraid of death you'll be annoyed by it but you don't have to be afraid of it and help me deal these philosophies have dealt with my the loss of my grandmother particularly shaman is him as well has help me with my grief that came from my untimely grandmother's death she may been over 80 years old but that doesn't count she shouldn't of died the way she did. And it took me a year to discover Chaminade some native music and Pagon and Wikia and help heal myself naturally and start doing medication and or self-destructive bullshit. I still obviously if I got a meditation Reiki pyramid on my Amazon wish list hell yeah I still believe in that shaman is a man pagan and Wiccan stuff because that's just now who I am it help me with someone my grandmother had passed away and help me believe that you can be medically and physically dad but you ain't dad you're just invisible we are a ghost your new whatever the fuck you want. That and there is reincarnation either way you're not really dead your body your physical medical body can be dead but you you yourself cannot be dead either pass on to another reincarnation or you become part of nature as a ghost or something that's what I think but you never truly die. I'm also a clairvoyance empath and Starchild a light worker meaning that I have dealt with the spirit world in my dreams and literally in my dreams I've dealt with the spirit world I have met my guardian angels I have met many things meaning people as well. And I can also tell when someone hit or how someone has died without being an MD. That being said and I can also tell when someone's hurting either physically or emotionally. That to say people are gonna think I'm a fucking nuts that I'm a clairvoyant and an empath and a star child or star seed but that's on them not me. My parents always said I had a very vivid imagination vivid dreams when I was a child and I couldn't conjure up anyone what the spirit world is like it's like Facebook you type in the word search type in the name you want of the person or demon or spirit and they will come out and pop up for you in your dream or as possession some people Mike Call this black occult.  I called this white occult.    There is a difference between white occultism and black occultism white occultism does not involve the devil or any evil spirits but to drive them away and for healing purposes only black occultism like necromancy Satanism and also sacrifices are bad and are associated with the devil do you think someone who is a saint Tanic black a call test would be a interested in angel numbers numbers that repeat themselves like tutu tutu tutu tutu tutu tutu tutu tutu you know no I don't think so because they wouldn't wouldn't believe in angels that's white occult Angels or white occult.   I don't believe in a black occultism because it is nothing more than necromancy and Satanism and animal and human sacrifice something that has to go something and I had to go long ago before the Greeks.