You, Alone. ✅

Chapter 9

You broke me first- Tate McRae

A month since the passing of Baba. A month since the day my mom started staying in doors, a month since I last saw my father's usual friends or even doctor. Three days since my third visit to the market.

I started going there from school again since my mom is now home, I claim some stuffs on days she cares and keep quiet on days she doesn't.

On my third visit, I told Rayyan what happened.

"My dad died" I had said as we sat at our usual spot

He looked at me with concern "I'm so sorry"

I shook my head "It's not that he is my dad or I've known him for years that
hurts. It's finally connecting to him, getting to know him and then it ending just as it started. Almost like getting a glass gem and it breaking into a thousand pieces just as you grasp it"

He nodded "May Allah ease your affair"

I smiled "Ameen"

"I only speak with my siblings whenever I get the chance to. As for my dad, I don't know how he is or if he's alive or dead"

I frowned "And your mom?

He shook his head "She's dead. since I was a child"

Not knowing what to say, I kept quiet and let the silence linger for a few minutes before saying "You don't care about him?

He looked at me, with his calm and warm eyes "I wasn't given the chance to decide if I should care or not"

"I understand" I replied

"What is your most craved wish? He asked with a smile

My first thought was "to stay here forever". Rayyan's presence is bliss, it is peace. He holds so much calmness and ease that he's starting to feel like the appropriate home.

"To reach a point of satisfaction and peace" I paused "You?

"To feel something. To feel valid"

I opened my mouth to tell him just how valid he is but chose not to knowing he also wanted to tell me I should already be satisfied but chose not to.

"You did secondary school? I asked and he nodded

"I have a degree Certificate too"

I turned to him bewildered. Here I thought he never saw the walls of school when he is way pass my education status even. I was genuinely happy at the thought of him not being an illiterate.

"I thought...I thought you didn't--

"Go to school? He laughed "I did"

"But aren't you supposed to have a white collar job"

He nodded "I should, but I don't. Didn't you hear work in Nigeria is when you know someone higher"

"But its not that bad" I protested

"It is" He affirmed "The only way is if know someone. You have to have a connection"

"So when you were an Almajiri, did you memorize the Quran? I questioned

He nodded adjusting his beanie cap "Went back to an Islamic school years back to further my Islamic knowledge too. The best choice I've ever made"

"Wow! I breathed out and added "So you stopped seeking for jobs and started a spice shop?

He shook his head and adjusted his sitting "The man I once worked for paid for all my school expenses. After I graduated with no work, he started the spice business and put me in charge of it. Eventually as it was going well, I made enough to buy the shop from him and decided to stick with it since the government isn't my aid anymore"