undeliverable

_____11_____

tristan hasn't been able to sleep for a few days.

it had been four days since he got back home, and he cannot sleep for the life of him. his eye bags have come back, worse than they used to be back in summer. his parents suggested he get some insomnia pills - he doesn't need to go to the doctor, he knows what to get - and that was exactly what he did. it helped a bit, as he managed to get thirty minutes of sleep before he woke up again, feeling none the better.

so, he decided to do something else with his sleep-forsaken time.

after the... incident with sabine, he decided to pay his best friend a visit.

"hey, zayne."

looking down at the tombstone, tristan folded his legs beneath him. the lamp he and sabine had put in place was still working, and he decides that making it solar powered was a good idea.

pushing hurtful thoughts of the mentioned female away, tristan concentrated on the headstone in front of him.

"uni... is more stressful than i expected. there's this particular lecturer that keeps on bothering me, for what i have no idea, and it annoys me so much. i'm just glad that didn't affect my grade in that course, that would have been bad," he chuckles, though it sounds empty and sleepy.

"and there are these girls who won't leave me alone, even when it's obvious i'm not interested," he whispers, suddenly not wanting to speak too loudly and disturb the tranquility of the place. he sighed.

"i know i promised you, zayne," tears threatening to leak out as tristan finally started to break down. "i promised you i'll always be there for her, i'll love her and keep her safe, and i'm so sorry!" his sobs had turned into wails and he tried his hardest not to get any louder.

"i promised you i'll confess! i swear i was going to do it this christmas, i swear! i-i..." he quieted down after a few minutes, and looked at the curved lamp he and sabine made, just for zayne. the stem was a bronze colour, and it curled upwards, like that of a bluebell's, from the ground to split into three other stems, each ending at a particular height. the closest to the ground was sabine's, and it displayed her second favourite colour, casting it's own baby blue light. after that was tristan's, which gave off a soft pink, his favourite colour. the tallest was in zayne's favourite, brightening the grave with a pastel green light.

the lamp was sabine's idea, because she wanted something that felt like zayne was there, and not just a piece of stone with his name on it. that was a good idea too.

"i already lost one best friend," he mumbled. "i can't lose another one, and the love of my life."

tristan brought his knees up together before tucking his head into them, the cemetery suddenly a lot more quieter.

"i just can't."

∞