I Shall But Love Thee Better After Death

2: Chapter 1

Chapter 1

London, England

My face is buried in Callum's chest. I don't want to see her... not like this.

Callum Brenson was my friend in the force, I had called him as soon as I could, and he didn't waste any time, getting here.

I had run into the room, scared for Charlie. The sight I saw would be haunting my dreams for the next few weeks, at least.

Charlie was laying on the bed, her throat slit. Her wrist had a tattoo. Not just any tattoo, though... it was the tattoo from two years ago.

I shiver, and Callum tightens his hold on me. What frightened me the most was the writing on the wall. In, what I guess as Charlie's blood, was written, "Death awaits thee, Clarity...

He awaits thee."

the memory brings tears to my eyes. Callum probably felt his shirt getting wet, because he pulls away, and looks at me.

Wiping my tears, he assures, "Don't worry, Clarity. We won't let anything happen to you. I won't let anything happen to you."

he drags me to the couch and makes me sit down. I lean my head onto his shoulder. Curious thing, death. So unpredictable... untimely. I close my eyes. Curious, it is... easy to handle? Never.

*****

I open my eyes, blinking. Where am I? What happened?

You know that state when a human doesn't know shit that's happening to them... and even if they do, they don't care?

Yeah... I was definitely in that state. I look around to find myself in my room. I can hear two people talking, out in the living room.

Is it Charlie?

Oh! wait! Charlie's dead!

A hysterical giggle escapes through my mouth. I don't have anything to wear for her funeral. Another giggle.

I sit up, and rock back and forth. If anyone saw me now, they'd probably think that I had finally lost my mind.

That brings a silly smile on my face. With much difficulty, I wipe it off...

what do I want?

I jump up, "i want coffee!" the voices outside stop.

I get out of the room, and walk into the kitchen, "Coffee... coffee... where are you, my love?" I whisper to myself.

...

coffee mug in hand, I walk back to the living room. The coffee is bitter and extremely hot. I burn my tongue, but I'm numb... so I don't care. I sit down, opposite Callum, next to his senior officer, Superintendent of Police, Benedict Wellington. Ben was like an older brother to me. He was a family friend, and had been around, practically, all my life.

They both look hesitant.

Ben gets up and sits next to me, "Clary... how... how are you?"

I shake my head. Back to numb state.

"um..." he clears his throat. "i... I don't wanna do this... but... I have a few questions."

I nod, and take another sip of the coffee, loving the feel of it burning through my food pipe.

"well... just the usual ones, actually."

"where was I at the time of murder? What was I doing there? Possible alibi?" I say in a monotone. I had heard the same questions so many times that I had them by heart now.

" I had gone to the medical store. Had to get some package Charlie wanted. The head of the store had called in the afternoon. Charlie was busy. No alibis. I think the package is on the table."

Ben is startled, to say the least. But he quietly, and quite wisely, nods and gets up, probably to get the package.

Cal is sitting opposite me, concern in his eyes. He had dark blonde hair with blue streaks. He had once told me that it was because he was a rebel back in high school. His eyes were a deep blue, and his British accent only added to his charm.

At 24, he was four years older than Ben and I, at the peak of his youth. After what happened two years ago, Ben and Callum were my only company, my only friends, until Charlie came.

Another sip of coffee.

The numbness isn't leaving. Again, I don't care. Cal is staring at me. It's kinda creepy, actually. Ben comes back with the paper bag I had brought in, so my attention turns to him.

He takes out his Swiss blade, and cuts the tape on the bag. He takes the seat next to me and pulls the tea table towards himself.

Then he turns the paper bag upside down, effectively emptying its contents onto the table.

Ben gasps, and Cal swears in shock. I look more closely. The paper bag contained pregnancy kits... multiple ones from various companies. I stare at it for long.

At last, I can feel everything. My tongue is burnt from the hot coffee, my head throbbing with tension... my chest is paining, my heart sore.

Tears roll down uncontrollably, and a sob tears through the silence.

Charlie thought she was pregnant. She thought she was with child... I destroyed the life of my friend, and her unborn child.

With that thought, I broke down completely.