The Hard knock Talk

Chap 1

Note: Well before I had gotten news of what the Season 12 finale would be about, I had been going through my own theories about Nell's feelings towards Hetty, and in the process, came up with this idea for that serious talk that they really need to have in the future. Odds are, it definitely won't be quite this angsty, but I felt that there are things Hetty needs to say/explain. Enjoy!

Originally published on FF.Net on May 1st, 2021

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Hetty had been home for a couple days. She knew it was time for her and Nell to talk.

Nell's house

'I assume you have a lot of questions.' Hetty said.

'Other then the obvious 'why did you leave me in charge when I said I didn't want your job' question, yes. I have a lot.' Nell responded, slightly annoyed.

'Go ahead.'

'How do you put up with being in charge? Why do you do the things that you do? Why do you feel like you have to butt into everyone's lives instead of just leaving them alone? Ever consider that you're actually making them worse instead of better?' Nell asked.

Silence

'Do you blame me for your mother's death?' Hetty asked.

'What?'

'A couple of years ago, your mother needed an operation to prolong her life. She was refusing it until I convinced her to get it. And she lived for another year. Do you blame me for it all?'

Awkward silence

'Slightly.' Nell said.

Hetty looked stunned at the answer.

'I may have been thankful at the time for you convincing her to try and live. But after that, it was nothing but stress and family drama, and the dreading the inevitable. Maybe it would've been better if you had just stayed out of the whole thing.'

Silence

As calmly as she could, 'Do you want to know why I really convinced your mom to fight? Because I wanted you to have extra time with your loved one. I loved someone, and I didn't get extra time with him to say all the things I wanted to say, and I regret it every day! I didn't want you to go through that, so I convinced your mom to have the operation so you'd both have more time together.' Hetty said.

'Except what you gave me and my family was work! My sister and dad turned into emotional wrecks, and I had to deal with it all by myself! I had to look after her, hire a nurse, plan her funeral, while nobody helped me! While all you do is disappear without any explanation and expect us to believe that you care about the team! And then last fall, while I'm still grieving, you disappear and leave me with a job I didn't want. So tell me, do you really care, or am I just another pawn to you in your sick games?!' Nell shouted.

Silence

'You want to know why I do what I do? Because I love the team. I never got to be a mom, and I never knew my real parents, so I consider you all to be my kids, and I feel responsible for what happens to any of you on the job. If I feel like I can help in a problem, I'll try my best. Do I have a terrible job? Yes. It makes me make hard choices that I wish I didn't have to make! You saw the kind of crap I face at the helm, why do I put up with it? Because I care about you all so very much! I may not say the words, but I really do care about all of you!' Hetty shouted.

Silence

'Another thing: Ever consider what I've possibly been through these last few years? Why I've really been disappearing? I've had a horrible few years! I've been through hell and back more times then I want to admit! I've been struggling with a lot of issues that I don't want to admit I may have! I didn't want to temporally leave you in charge, but I had to leave immediately, and I needed someone who I knew would take care of the team until I could return. Did I feel bad about it? Every day! I'm not the person to blame for your troubles, Nell. Not even close. If you're looking for someone to blame, blame it on life being as terrible as it is! But don't blame me.' Hetty continued.

That's when Nell knew she had gone too far. 'I, uh'.

'I suggest you think about why you joined NCIS in the 1st place and if you really want to stay. Because the work the team does, isn't for the weak.'

Then she left.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Endnote: Because I hate leaving things on tense notes, there will be a 2nd part to this to smooth things up.