The Hard knock Talk

Chap 2

It had been 2 days since the 'talk'. Nell had been feeling guilty about what she said to Hetty, and in a couple sessions with Nate, advised her to try to find a way to talk to her in an effort to mend things.

So, she went to Hetty's house, and rang the doorbell, and Hetty answered.

'Can I do something for you, Miss Jones?' Hetty asked.

'Can you give me a way to ask for forgiveness?' Nell answered.

'Come in'.

In the living room

'You were right. I've been blaming you for things that you had nothing to do with, simply because I needed someone to blame for me being overwhelmed. And you didn't deserve any of it, and I've only been thinking about myself instead of thinking of how you might have been feeling these past 2 years, and I'm very sorry for all of it.' Nell said.

'Sounds like you've been talking to Mr. Getz. How much did he tell you about me, if you asked?'

'Couldn't tell me much, but. Just, how much ugly stuff have you gone through in the past few years, other then Vietnam, that Mexico mission, and Akos?' Nell asked.

'Stuff, that I'm still not ready to talk about, dear.' Hetty answered.

'You've been like this since... The year we lost Granger. Is that why?'

'You mean, is that why I keep doing dangerous missions where I almost get killed, refusing to open up to my team? You can say that. Why do I do any of it? Because I apparently have a death wish and losing him was worse for me then I thought.' Hetty replied, sadly.

'Because you loved him? All that stuff you said about extra time? You meant him, right?'

Silence.

'Yes. Deep down inside, I loved the old bastard. I thought I had a few months left to tell him every thing I wanted to, but he left before I could, and I never saw him again.' Hetty said, with a sad, tired look.

'Is that why you talked my mom into that operation? Because you wanted me to have extra time with her?'

'Yes. The regret that I feel every day from not being able to extra time with Owen is horrible, and I didn't want you to feel any of it, because I care.'

'I can see that now. How, how have you been feeling these past few years, when you do these missions? Are they your way of trying to get rid of the pain you're feeling because of your regret?' Nell asked.

'Lonely, lost. Wondering if I really do have a death wish. With everything I've gone through these past few years, seems like all I ever feel anymore is pain, regret, and sadness. I have my moments of happiness, but they don't last long.' Hetty replied.

'Sounds like a depression issue that really needs to be dealt with. Not by basically running away, but by letting the people you love in! I'm sure that deep down inside, you don't want to feel this sad.'

'You make it sound so easy. It's never been easy for me to open up about my problems.' Hetty said.

'You can start, by coming back to work. I'm sure you've missed your desk and space.'

'I have.'

'Just, try to take things a day at a time. You matter to the whole team, Hetty. You can get your happiness back, it just takes a bit of work.' Nell said.

'Hanging out with a shrink a lot, and despite the awful things I said about you, I still really care about you.'

'Well, thank you. Been a long while since I've heard this kind of encouragement. I'll try my best. You're forgiven.' Hetty said.

'Thank you. Can I give you a hug?'

'Of course!'

And they hugged, for what seemed like a really long while.