Memories and Stars

Kylo/Ben

Every second I'm away from my love, his perfectness always invaded whatever I had been thinking about, whether it be battle plans or simply signing a data pad.

He was always there. And I didn't care.

After all I had done, all the pain and suffering I had caused Armitage, Ari as I call him, I swore to myself that I would never purposely nor even accidentally hurt him.

I had almost driven my love to death. I had led him to such anger and insecurity that he would put his life in danger just to get back at me.

My obsession over that wretched woman had almost killed off the one thing good in my life. 

Ari.

The memories of the day I gave him that nickname flashed through my mind bringing an immediate smile to my face.

He had just told me that he wasn't fond of his first name but for me, he would suffer.

I disagreed and decided to think up something else to call him and the name had just popped up in my brain.

Somewhere I had heard that the name Ari meant lion and that is what he is to me.

While he may look cold and dangerous to most around us, I know deep down, to the ones he loves, he is loving, strong, playful, albeit a bit to flirtatious, and he is protective of what is his.

One day while we were both in our room, I called him the nickname and he had given me a confused look before his face had softened a one of his adorable smiles formed on his lips.

To this day, I remember his words though they were briefly forgotten in my rage and obsession for power.

"Thank you Ben Solo, for giving me something to look forward to everyday rather then empty walls and ceilings. Thank you for loving me and fixing something that I thought to be forever broken."

That night was spent wrapped up in each other, showing each other our most vulnerable sides and showering all our love over us in a blanket of peace away from a world of war and death.

"Supreme Leader?"

Snapping out of my memories, I glared through my mask at the trooper standing in the doorway holding a datapad.

"S-Sorry sir! I w-was told to deliver this to you. It's the l-last." The trooper stuttered, hurrying to place the pad on my desk before saluting and leaving in a hurry.

I waited a moment before sagging in relief,

Without Ari helping with all the paperwork, it has fallen onto me and I have to deal with a lot of it.

No one really know the truth about what happened, they all believe their general was injured and is resting but soon, that will become unbelievable and I will have to let Ari return to his work.

A tiny part of me, the part containing Kylo Ren, snarled at me, trying to convince me not to let the man who betrayed me and sold information to the Resistance back to work like nothing happened.

But that's just it, everything had happened after his betrayal.

I realized what I had become, a monster.

Shaking my head roughly, I snatched the data pad and hastily read it over before scribbling my name at the bottom to approve the mission.

Tossing it in the finished pile, I hurriedly stood up and strode out of my office.

Excitement boiled inside me, the aspect of seeing Ari after a long day motivated me to drag my tired body through the halls and to our bedroom.

The usual guard stood outside the room and saluted as I flew past into the bedroom.

But the sight that greeted me, made my heart drop and my rage build.

The room was empty, my sign of Ari physically or in the Force.

Storming back towards the door, it didn't even have the chance to open before I used the force to send it slamming into its casing.

Right outside, the guard jumped and stumbled back into a salute shakily.

"He's gone! Where is General Hux?!" I roared furiously.

"N-No left the r-room d-during my shift Supreme Leader!" The guard yelped, stiffly saluting again.

I pushed into his head using the Force, not caring the pain I caused but huffed as I saw through his memories and thoughts that he indeed, did not let Ari past.

He must have left sooner then that.

"Get out of my sight! Tell all guards there is no longer a need to guard my quarters!" I growled, having half a mind to dispose of this trooper but knowing Ari would be angry for my recklessness.

The guard needed no further encouragement and speed walked away and out of sight.

I took a deep breath to calm myself then closed my eyes and focused.

Focused on the Force, in me, in the air, and in Ari.

Locating him took longer then I thought but then I sensed him. On the roof?

What was he doing on the roof?

Sprinting into the lift, I willed it to move up at a faster speed and almost blew the doors off in my hurry to exit.

Everyone moved out of my way but I paid them no mind in my mission to find my lover.

Reaching the small stairway to the door out onto the roof, I skipped all three and jumped up, slamming my hand down.

The door opened and I almost ran out but froze at the sight before me.

There, laid on top of a grey blanket was the man who managed to steal my heart and never gave it back. Nor would I want it back as I had his in return.

He looked completely relaxed and a quick check in with his Force signature told me he was asleep, deep sleep asleep.

It's been so long since he's been so relaxed and I was slightly jealous I wasn't able to do this much for him.

Yet, as I silently glided across the roof to his side and laid beside him, I understood.

The night sky above us shined in every other color, creating a beautiful blend not just anything could achieve.

Ari told me he liked stars but I never understood, now, I think I do.

Wrapping my arms gently around the love of my life, I pulled him into my body, sharing my body heat with his chilled form.

He shifted and move half on top of me, his arm on my side, hand on my chest, and his head resting on my collarbone.

Watching with soft hazel eyes, I let the adoring smile show on my lips as he settled comfortably with a light smile.

I waited a moment then looked back to the stars.

"You once told me that I fixed something thought to be forever broken, but in my eyes, I didn't fix anything. We're both still so broken, but together, we can slowly build a new in our own image." I murmured, glancing absently at him as I spoke.

His fist closed around my robes and the smile on his soft lips widened.

"Let's stay together forever my love. I love you more then the dark hates the light."

My consciousness drifted away from my hold and I let it, letting myself fall asleep right there on the roof beside my lower and below the shining stars.

"You are my stars Armitage Hux."