The Good Girl's SECRETS (PUBLISHED)

Chapter 1 (Published Version)

Three Months Earlier

The thunderous bang of the kitchen door jolts me out of a restless sleep, followed by the incessant bickering of Nate and his asshole father as they stomp up and down the hallway outside my bedroom door. The relentless arguing is getting old and it's starting to affect me in more ways than just fewer hours of sleep. The two of them never stop going at each other and by the sounds of it, it's going to be another miserable morning.

I can't remember the last time it was quiet around here. It's always filled to the brim with alcohol induced tension and I can feel the fury behind every word that erupts out of Jeff's mouth, even if he's not directly yelling at me. Before my mom left a few years ago, Jeff didn't seem like such a bad guy. He casually drank when they would go out or have people over, but it never seemed to be a problem. It had only become compulsive after he found out that she took off and left me behind. I guess I can't blame him.

That's when everything seemed to fall apart like dominoes. Once the first piece falls, so does all the rest. He hasn't been able to hold a job for more than a few months at a time since she left and he spends more money on beer and cigarettes than anything else. Sometimes I just wish he would take off like my mom did. We would be much better off without him, but I don't think we would be lucky enough for him to just disappear after getting wasted and hopefully forget where he lived. I kind of wish he would just drive off of a cliff, to be honest. Being the kind of person he is, I'm positive no one would even miss him.

My stepbrother is always around giving me shit about not getting in Jeff's face too much and making sure I know to stay, invisible. He says, "It's better for everyone." I kind of wish he would move out like any self-respecting college-aged adult would. Especially since we don't even talk anymore, well not that we really ever did much anyway.

Nate graduated high school last year, so I was hoping he would move out and live in the dorms but, I figured I wouldn't get lucky enough for that to happen. He decided to stick around and get a job as a mechanic instead. When I heard him and Jeff arguing about money the one day, Nate told his dad that he doesn't make enough only working part-time to pay for school and an apartment on his own right now. He only goes to school part-time, so I would think he would have plenty of time that he could take on more hours. Personally, I think he just rather blow all of his money away instead of wanting to pay for a place of his own. I have no idea why he would want to stick around living here any longer, especially with Jeff always getting in his face, because I can't remember the last time that they spoke to each other without an argument or one of them getting a fist to the jaw.

If it were me, I would leave and never look back.

I have to get to school so I reluctantly drag myself out of bed and quickly gather my clothes for the day as I walk over to my closet to get dressed. It's hardly big enough for my clothes as it is, let alone moving around and having proper elbow space to get dressed, but I always get changed in here ever since Jeff 'Accidentally' walked in on me changing a few times. Unless I were to shower that day, then of course, the bathroom it is. I wish I still had one of those nice large walk-in closets that I had when mom and I first moved in with them. That luxury didn't last very long, but it was nice while it did.

I grab my bag and go to open my window after making sure that I have everything in it that I need for the day. My notebooks, a couple of pens, phone charger, a granola bar out of the stash I keep in my room, and a chocolate bar that I bought on the way home yesterday.

I quietly drop my bag out the window and slide down the short wall enough to not make noise when I land, because I definitely don't need Jeff to catch me sneaking out, even though I'm only going to school. Luckily my room is on the first floor toward the back of the house, so I can cut through the woods behind our house to completely avoid the street. Seeing as the living room window looks out onto the street and Jeff would be able to see me from his recliner that he plops himself in every morning after working the night shift, and drinks himself into a coma with a six-pack and passes out before noon.

It only takes me about twenty minutes to walk to school but I always end up leaving earlier than I have to most mornings so I can stop by the bookstore first. I work there most days, usually after school, but I started going there every day for some place to be just to get out of the house in the morning. Thankfully my school is in the opposite direction, so I don't have to worry about teachers passing by and seeing me if the mood strikes not to attend any classes that day. And the mood strikes more often than it should.