The Pathway Home

Chapter 1 (Home)

The Pathway Home

Chapter 1 (Home)

Dawson laid in the bed the events of last night running her head in slow motion. She felt like she was in some dramatic movie in the scene when a man realizes he cheated on his wife. She knew she hadn't cheated and he neither had he. Neither of them were seeing anyone so she shouldn't feel guilty for what they had done last night...but she did. She felt like she had cheated. She felt she had cheated herself,Casey and all the people who had tried to help her out of the dark pit she'd trapped herself in these many long months. She looked around at the clothes strewn all over the room that they had thrown as they hastily undressed last night while trying to convince themselves that it meant nothing;trying to convince themselves the entire time they were together. Trying to make themselves believe. Believe that it meant nothing,believe that it was just the stress of the day believe that it wasn't their reconciliation. Because it couldn't be. It couldn't be their reconciliation because they still had problems. She was still on truck he was still her lieutenant and they still weren't communicating. This wasn't a good time to start "anew" as she had said awhile ago sitting at that table in the restaurant, as their relationship broke down. They still had so many problems. So many problems to work out so many problems to understand, so many things to discuss. So she couldn't let herself think that this was their reconciliation...she just couldn't.

Dawson heard Casey take in a deep breath as he woke up. She immediately closed her eyes pretending to sleep not sure of what to do. Her stomach felt like it was an ocean in a raging storm waves of anxiety rushing over her as she tried to figure out what to do. "Gabby?" He said sounding unsure of himself. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut and wrinkled her nose afraid of what was about to come next. All the scenarios of what could happen started to roll through her brain like a tidal wave rolling over her and crushing her underneath it. She heard him breath another loud breath. She took a deep breath and turned over to look at him. Then she noticed that he was pretending to sleep as well. Her body immediately became a mixture of relief and fear. Relief because that meant that he was probably as nervous as she was and fear because this meant he was probably as clueless as to what to say as she was. This worried her because this meant maybe he would panic and just ask her to leave, and she didn't want to leave. She wanted to stay here forever. She hoped he didn't regret what they had done. She knew she didn't. Yes, this would make things more complicated, but she didn't care. She was so tired of lying to herself saying that she didn't want him didn't need him when she that that wasn't true. She knew it would never be true. Even if they never ended up together she knew her feelings for him would never leave.