~ HIS ANGEL BOY SERIES, BOOK 2 ✔ ~
"No longer do I soothe your pain, no longer do I ease your strain...if you expect that treatment again then you will be waiting in vain...unless you tell me right now one good reason why I should be letting you eve...
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~Freddie~
What can I say to ease the pain?
What can I do when the reality of being alone and in a constant state of confusion suddenly hits me like a tonne of bricks? When the realisation knocks off the rose tinted glasses Clementine has had pulled over my eyes for the past week.
Fuck.
Fuck, indeed.
I don't need Deucalion this time to give me a kick up the arse to get me into gear, living in the shadows and avoiding her at all costs seems like the only thing that I can do to halt her advances- the mere thought of her touching any part of me that doesn't belong to her, that doesn't belong to either of us makes my skin crawl.
Leto.
I let her pull the wool over my eyes at first to dull the pain, but his name in my mind wouldn't let me fully enjoy the benefits of being indifferent, I let myself be covered up by her over possessive character, let her spoil me with gifts and with her words of pure joy, knowing that this is my penance for doing Leto wrong, knowing that nothing could ever console me for what I have done.
And I know I don't deserve anything even close to joy for what I have done.
~
"Oh my love...my love, where are you?"
Trying my best to ignore her I continue to hide myself in the shadows just behind the throne room, her voice being something that constantly calls out to me, it making me feel sick all the way down to my stomach.
I wish there was a way to portal myself home, the week passing me by as my heart keeps its ache as my bones begin to have an ache of their very own, my mind so full of Leto it hurts to even think of anyone else.
I think of him.
I ache for him.
I crave for him.
And fuck, oh how I miss him.
Closing my eyes I try to control the tears that are already making their way down my cheeks, biting my lip to suppress my cry I taste blood, no longer having the strength to keep my mundane disguise up I have been living in my natural body, hating that I only ever wanted the one that I love to see me in such a vulnerable state.
Knowing that my free will has been taken from me but my heart won't ever let me loose the feelings and love that I have for a certain angel, knowing full well that none of the words I had said to him to make him go away was of any truth, I just knew that there was nothing else I could have said to him that would make him believe me- he has a smart head on his shoulders and I knew he was no fool.
I just have to live with the consequences now, I have no choice.
"Flokison? You better not be hiding from me, you know I will and can find you."
