Introverted Being (2019 Part 2)

[245] First Best Friend

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First best friend

My first best friend is Marnie Z. We became best friends in second grade (as what I can recall). It's amazing cos I can still remember that we became best friends but got drifted away when we were in fifth grade. I don't know what happened but we stopped talking after we graduated from elementary in 2005. We attended different high schools.

I've never forgotten about her and our friendship even if we lost touch after graduation. We didn't have mobile phones at that time. Social media wasn't known yet. Eventually, we stopped talking but I still cherished our friendship. Who would forget their first best friend? I might not remember all the happenings in our elementary lives but the thought we were once happy kids is gratifying. I know we had fun times together. We studied together, shared snacks and laughter.

I still thought about her when I was in college. I still wondered what was happening in her life. I still want to talk to her again and be best friends again. However, I realized that it wouldn't happen again. It wouldn't be possible to be close again. I know she'd have new best friends. I didn't even know if she still remembered me. I completely gave up hoping to see her again. We just lived in the same city but I've never seen her once after graduation (elementary).

I guess fate was on our side. When I was in my second (or third) year in college in 2012, I saw her! We studied in the same college. Man, I was so glad to see her again. I wanted to approach her to ask how she was but when she finally saw me, she didn't smile at me. I was so ready to greet her. I asked myself if she had forgotten me already. I admit it was painful that time. I couldn't accept that she didn't recognize or ignore me on purpose. She made new friends and hang out with them after class while I was with my college friends as well.

We both have different lives now and eventually accepted that fact. I still smiled at her whenever we passed by each other. We'd never talked until I graduated college in 2014. We could have reconciled but it didn't happen. I guess we were both busy minding our own lives and didn't bother to make time to know each other again. It's one of the saddest events in my life.

I can't recall if I tried looking her up on Facebook. I started using Facebook in 2010. I doubt it cos if I did I could've messaged her there and we'd talk again. Seeing her again in college wouldn't be that awkward. So, I take that I didn't look her up on Facebook. I still didn't forget her and still hoping we could talk. I just didn't dwell on the thought that we couldn't be friends again. I don't what changed my mind but I ended up sending her a friend request on Facebook this year (2019). Luckily, she accepted it and sent me a message. I can't remember the first conversation we had there. All I know is it turned out well. She didn't forget me. She said she was hesitant to approach me (in college) cos I was always with my friends. We felt the same way! Imagine if none of us was hesitant to take the first move. We could be best friends again!

Anyways, I'm contented with what we are now. I'm glad we talked again even if it's virtual. We planned to hang out when I go back to the Philippines.

Yuchae Moon