Ranger's Apprentice: The Tantalizing Tales

Best Bed Buds

In which Will and Horace live through the one-bed-trope but you know them - boys will be boys.

~~~

They had been friends for some 10 years now. Had known each other for, say, 25. So really, truly, how terrible could sharing a bed at night be?

Well, very terrible, as Will found out a few hours after the fateful decision had been made. Not wanting to spend another night on the cold forest ground, the two young men had accepted the last available room at the inn - with just one bed. After a warm supper and a final cup of coffee, the two had rolled into bed. An early morning awaited them. A morning that for Will couldn't come soon enough.

He sighed.

"Horace."

Nothing.

"Horace."

"Hmm?"

"You're taking up this whole bed, can you please move?"

More silence. Still no actual response from his friend, let alone a move to free up space. Will clicked his tongue.

"I know you're not asleep, you jerk."

That did elicit a response. Smothered by a face pressed into a mattress, his friend's voice sounded.

"No, you're wrong, I'm fast asleep."

Will sighed again, putting in all the annoyance that he could muster so that the threat would be clear.

"I will kung fu you out of this bed if you don't move right now."

When the young knight still didn't move, it was time to resort to more drastic measures. And indeed, a second or so later, Horace hissed.

"Get your unholy cold feet away from me, Treaty."

"Then move."

Finally, the knight did.

"Thank you."

---

Will turned onto his other side and pulled the covers over his shoulder. This time, it was his movement that evoked a response from his bed partner.

"Gorlog's Beard, Will, will you lay still?"

The addressee rolled his eyes.

"Believe me, I'm trying," Will grimaced.

"But these beds are not exactly winning an award for comfortability."

Horace groaned as Will turned onto his other side again.

"I thought you Rangers were supposed to be able to not move for hours - what is wrong with you?"

"Shut up."

"Stop moving."

---

He had actually been asleep. Will could barely believe it himself, but for a few sweet, wonderful minutes, he had been asleep. Until the sound of someone sawing trees had awoken him. It could come from only one thing, one person.

"Horace Altman, if you continue to snore, I will smother you with a pillow faster than you can say 'four-legged chicken'."

For a moment, the snoring stopped, interrupted by what sounded suspiciously like a snort and followed by a cough that seemed to hide laughter. Then, it continued, louder than before.

There was only one possible solution. Will rolled a little more to the side to free up some room between himself and the knight. Then, he moved back his arm, and slammed his elbow into the other man's side. His friend yelped in pain. But before Will could claim victory, Horace returned the favour and treated his friend - who had already been laying dangerously close to the edge of the bed - to a heavy shove. And since, unfortunately for Will, the knight remained the strongest in close combat, the movement proved enough to push him out, off the bed, and onto the ground with a loud BANG.

The sound was followed by silence. Then-

"Oh, it is on!"

Before Horace had been allowed time to register the meaning of that sentence, a mighty force drew the blanket away from him. Thinking quickly, he grabbed his end of the blankets and pulled - effectively pulling up his friend from the ground in the process. Back on the bed, Will now quite literally jumped onto his friend and clasped a hand over his mouth.

"Can't snore now, can you?"

But Horace was not ashamed to stoop down to his level and not even a second later Will was forced to pull back his hand, wiping it on the sheets.

"Oh, that is disgusting, Horace."

But Horace was too busy pinning him down to care. He had managed to overthrow his smaller friend. His hands keeping down Will's wrists, his knees on either side of his friend's hips, he seemed undefeatable. But a devious spark in Will's eyes betrayed him. The Ranger pulled up his legs, then violently kicked Horace's knees from under him. At the same time, he dug his nails into his friend's hands. A momentary relaxation on Horace's side was all Will needed to pull back his own hands. Before the knight could fall on top of him, he rolled away. Unfortunately, Will's own feet were by now tangled up in the sheets and his escape never set through. Instead of climbing off the bed he slammed into it. Next to him, Horace didn't fare much better.

And just like that, the close combat was over, as abruptly as it had started.. All that was left was two young men in good health, but very much out of breath.

"If someone were to come in now... they'd be getting all sorts of ideas," Horace said in between shallow breaths.

Will laughed hoarsely.

"Horace Altman, the Oakleaf Knight and Royal Champion, and Ranger Will Treaty. Imagine the stories they'd tell."

It was dark, and so Will couldn't see his friend's face, but he could hear the smile when the knight said, "We'd make a mean couple."

Both laughed, then felt silent. There were no sounds for a few minutes, just calm and peaceful breathing. And just as a careful listener might have thought that the two friends had fallen asleep-

"Horace Altman, stop hogging that damn blanket."