Oh, Calamity . . . (Jalex)

1

Alex

today, I had a funny feeling, was going to be another one of those days where I wake up to an empty, quiet apartment. and as my eyes fluttered open, they found that to be true. no one beside me as I lay in my bed with their hands around my waist, pulling me close to them.

that's the feeling I longed for. but I didn't want it from anyone who wasn't my love.

I love him. I always have. ever since high school. we even dated for a long while, all through high school, but his band got a record deal and he left, promising me he'd be back for me after all of his tours.

but its been nearly ten years since he said that, and I'm a train wreck.

I messaged him everyday for the first five months after he left high school, and when he never returned my calls or responded to my texts, I told myself that he was busy playing and then trying to relax until the next day. but when he posted pictures of himself kissing other guys and saying he loved them, I knew it was over.

I never answer my phone, and if I do, it's for my mother. and that rarely ever happens, too.

recently my brother, Tom, passed away and he and Jack were pretty close. for the first time in a year, I had texted him, notifying Jack of Tom's passing. and the asshole replied with blaming me of it. told me I should be in jail for murder.

first of all, I'm in London, a completely different country than America, and second, Tom was the only person besides Jack and mum that has ever meant something to me. now, does that make sense?

not. at. all.

I pulled myself from my train of thought before it crashed and began to breakdown in tears and fall into, yet another, wave of depression.

I threw of the covers from my bed and chucked my legs over to the side, letting my feet hit the wooden floor. I rubbed my face and sighed. "Jesus..."

I stood up and hesitated on opening the curtains, but realized since it's almost 1:30 in the afternoon, I would have to deal with it sometime today, anyways. my friend Rian and I have plans tonight. we're hosting a party at a night club, and we're expecting some pretty amazing bands to play. and Rian has been trying to convince me to play my own songs.

of course I wont. the only person I've played for was was Jack, and that didn't work out so well.

I stumbled tiredly to the bathroom and washed my face, brushed my teeth and all that morning stuff. I did my hair and got dressed in a grey/beige v-neck shirt that hid under a red plaid flannel, grey skinny jeans and black vans to top it off, with the needed sun glasses and beanie.

I felt an unusual buzz from my phone; I rarely ever get texts. but it was from Rian, so I gotta respond.

he said: 'hey, I'll be over in a few. I'm taking you out to lunch. be ready.'

Rian, despite his kindness and maturity and pretty good looks, sometimes made my petty mind mad. like when he does things like this, taking me out to eat. he knows this will further my already deep debt with him. he may not care about what I 'owe' him, but I do. its my conscience, it really messes with me when I cant repay something to someone, which happens way too often.

but lately I haven't cared about it. I have bigger problems , like the reoccurring depression, or paying my own bills, finding a long-term job.

so if Rian wants to take me out, fine. I'll order the most expensive thing and show him how he shouldn't just throw his money out to people like this.

I replied: 'yea, sure, bud. thx'

no more than ten minutes later Rian pulls up in the driveway and enter my house while I just start to drink my coffee. I was leaning against the counter as he entered, and he threw his arms up.

"what the hell, man? coffee? really?" he had a grin on, but still acted pissed off.

I shrugged, lowering my mug from my lips. "you didn't give me any time. plus, I didn't ask for you to take me to lunch. so, you're gonna have'ta wait a few minutes of you still wanna go." and with that, I took another sip of the warm bitter-made-sweet liquid. my parents always fussed about me putting so many sugar cubes in my coffee, but I had the worst sweet tooth ever.

Rian shook his head and took a seat at the small, three-person dining table. I checked my twitter for the first time in seven months, and it was too blown up with all kinds of stuff for me to keep looking at it.

I finished my coffee after fifteen minutes of Rian and I chatting about different things.

". . . so. . . h-have you heard anything from Jack?" I asked Rian. he was great friends with Jack, too. he actually introduced us. they were close, they grew up together, and i just butted into their friendship. but after Jack had gone away, Rian and I became really close. he's the only person I talk to anymore.

he shook his head, frowning a little bit. "sorry, man. I got nothing. and I assume you haven't, either?" I shook my head as well.

he walked over to me and squeezed my shoulder, looking down at me with a reassuring smile. "he'll come back around sometime. they'll be off tour soon. maybe he'll stop by?" il

I shook my head, looking up at him. "I don't think he will. he thinks I murdered Tom, my own brother, in cold blood!"

Rian shook his head with a sigh. "Jack believes some serious bullshit. don't let it get to you."

"Rian, he never, for those four years we were together, said that he loved me. I always said it and he would just nod and continue what he was doing before. and.. we only.. n-nothing.." I said, stopping myself shorty then lowering my head.

"what? you only what?" he asked.

"nothing, Rian. it doesn't matter."

"Alex, stop. tell me, please. you guys only what?"

I sighed and rubbed my face, using my cold hands to cool down my cheeks. "we.. only had sex twice.." I could feel the awkwardness grow for a minute, only to be pulled into a hug. Rian was rubbing my back as my head was buried in the crook of his neck.

"well, the amount of intercourse doesn't matter, in my opinion. he's really awkward. he truly did love you, Alex. and he most likely still does. don't give up on him yet."

I nodded, but still retorted. "ten years, I've gotten absolutely nothing from him. no texts, calls, emails, shout outs- jack shit. no pun intended."

Rian just huffed and smiled. "well, that sucks, buddy." I gave him a 'wtf, dude?' look, but he didn't seem phased. "BUT, it'll get better. you'll meet someone new, maybe better than Jack?"

'better than jack. . . better. . . than. . . jack. . .' no. . . there's nothing better than him. . .

. . . but what if there is. . . ?

I found it hard to believe that there was someone better than Jack, but there most likely is. someone who can actually tell me that he loves me most days, rather than none. maybe it was possible for me to find another guy. I mean, I'm mid 20's, I need to grow up and let him go.

I nodded in response to Rian, giving a genuine smile. "yeah, I'm sure there is." I straightened by back out and nudged Rian's arm. "well, I guess we better go, then?"

he nodded and we left my house, got in his car, and driver to the night club as we listened to a mix of rock bands.

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so, this is the first chapter of this story. please leave suggestions of anything you'd like to see (besides smut, you can go to my STRICTLY SMUT book in my works) and i will most definitely consider using some suggestions! note* i already have a few chapters written, so you may not see some until later!

so please vote and comment if you want to see more, it'll help a bunch! (plus it's the only way i'll upload another chapter cx)

QUESTION:

do you guys think i should make the chapters longer or shorter than they are now?