Anime angst

Sugawara x Reader ( i miss u)

Sugawara's pov

"hey y/n... i miss u..."

"how have you been?"

"i know it's been a while but it's been hard at volleyball y'know?" i chuckled.

"god i miss you so much..."

"i miss how you laughed even when I made a really bad joke."

"or when we would watch f•r•i•e•n•d•s on our tv."

"i miss how you would always try and make everyone happy even when you were feeling down."

"or how you would always listen to people's feelings so that people would feel ok to be around you."

"i miss your smile."

"and how you would smile even at the smallest things I would do for you."

"i miss your hugs."

"and how everytime you would hug me it would be like it was the last time we would see each other."

"i still have that picture. I still

nobody's pov

he started to break into tears. this is how it went almost everytime he would visit you.

"this is all my fault." he said crying.

"why did it have to end like this?"

"if I had just stayed you wouldn't be like this." he couldn't stop himself from crying.

"if I hadn't said any of those things about you."

2 YEARS AGO-------------

he left you for some 3rd year girl that had only planned to use him.

and after he left you he started rumors saying that you had slept with the entire nekoma volleyball team and everyone believed besides the team.

after the person you loved started saying these things you started having random episodes. they would happen at the most random times and that only made people have more bad things to say. things like " oh my God she's going crazy isn't she?" " stay away from her she is only doing that for attention."

after all of those rumors you couldn't handle being around people so you dropped out. you stopped eating cause you were never hungry. and because of that you had lost a lot of weight and started getting sick.

suga started getting worried. he had left you many messages but you haven't been on your phone. he tried knocking on your door but you just always ignored it.

he felt so bad. but you didn't care anymore. you  stopped caring about anything. because he had hurt you so bad by leaving and saying those awful things. that was your last straw.

you just felt numb. you had stopped crying and things that should hurt didn't. you hated it. you hated this feeling.

3 WEEKS LATER-----------

Y/N POV

everything has changed. why? why would he do this? no! no what did I do wrong!? I don't deserve this! no...no...NO!

i finally started to feel again. but this is all a mistake. i don't need to be here. why should i be here? don't need to be here.

YOU'RE JUST A HOE

WHY ARE YOU HERE NOBODY NEEDS YOU?

SUGA JUST SHOWED UP TO YOUR HOUSE OUT OF PITY

JUST LEAVE THIS WORLD

YOU'RE USLESS

my mind is right. i should just leave. i'm just scared. why should i be scared it's not like he needs me anymore. he has that 3rd year. nobody likes me anyway.

i wrote a note. i don't know why but i did.

Sugawara's Pov:

i was walking to y/n's house feeling terrible. why would i do stupid things like this. she's my best friend. just because my girlfriend said too. well now ex girlfriend. she just used me to get popular.i feel so stupid. no i am stupid.

when i got to y/n's i knocked on her door. as i expected their was no response. i peeked through her window that was on the door. as i expected nothing. i turned the doorknob and it was unlocked... that's weird. usually she always locks it. she lived alone so she was always prepared for a break in.

i opened the door and there wasn't anyone home. i went to her room and saw a not on her bed. this is weird. i opened it and it said:

"Dear Koshi Sugawara. I'm sorry but I'm leaving. It's not like you actually care. but just for you to know. I'm leaving this world permanently. So goodbye... I hope your life is better with me gone. I know that this might seem dramatic but only you know what actually happened I never slept with the Nekoma team and you started those rumors. You ruined my life. Nobody will believe me anymore. You were the cause of my depressive episodes. You knew that I already wasn't in a good place. You were my source of happiness and you took that away from me. You were my only friend. I trusted you with everything. And you knew all of this. Why? Why did you do all of this. To be more popular? To have people hate me? Did you hate me? To make your girlfriend happy? She hated me didn't she?
What did I do? What did I do to deserve all of this?.. Anyway I just want you too know... that I love you... I always have. I know you don't feel the same way but I just wanted to put that out there. If you did love me you wouldn't have done this and none of this would have happened. I wouldn't have went through all this pain. And I wouldn't be dead... So this is my final goodbye... I love you Koshi Sugawara, Goodbye.

-Y/n

No... NO! WHAT DID I JUST DO?! NO NO IM SO STUPID NO WHY?! I'M THE CAUSE OF ALL OF THIS?!? NO!

3rd Person pov

suga broke into tears. he couldn't handle this. to think that he caused all of your pain. he started punching and kicking everything. he broke countless things. until he saw a picture. he picked it up. it was of you and him. you looked so happy you were in his arms. you drew hearts around his face. he flipped it around and you had wrote "I will always love you Koshi Sugawara, till the day I die." He broke down even more. He sat in the corner of your room, with the picture in his hand and his knees to his chest. " The truth is... I love you too Y/n L/n..."

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