loser like me ✩ sam evans

sexy

Holly Holiday had returned to McKinley High to give the students sex education. Mr. Shuester disagreed at first, but after finding out Brittany still thought baby's came from the stork, he came to the conclusion that most of the Glee Club was absolutely clueless about that subject, so he agreed to let her teach.

Florence entered the choir room, busy calling with her brother. She continued chatting with Kurt after she took a seat next to Sam.

Mr. Schuester grabbed a red marker, writing sexy on the whiteboard. Florence's eyes opened wide and she sighed.

"Kurt. I have to go" She spoke, hanging up.

"Sexy" Mr. Schuester said, spinning around.

"Oh god" Sam whispered

"I really hope that's not one of the requirements for Regionals, because with Berry in those tights we don't stand a chance" Santana bitched

"No. This isn't about Regionals. I'm less worried about about that right now and more queried about the fact that it's become clear to me that some of you have been lacking when it comes to understanding the... uh... the intricacies of adult relationships" Schuester spoke, struggling with his choice of words.

Some of the teens laughed softly, others tried their hardest to hold in their laughter. That seemed to annoy their teacher.

"I want to spend the week educating ourselves about some of these intricacies" he spoke

"It this the appropriate forum for that?" Rachel inquired

"Look, whenever we had uh... issues in the past that are on our minds that was giving us problems, it's always helped us to sing about it. So this week I have invited a special guest... Miss Holiday!"

The students started cheering at the sight of the blonde woman walking into the Choir Room.

"Okay. So sex, it's just like hugging, only wetter" Ms holiday spoke, not at all struggling with the subject like Mr. Shuester was.

"So let's start with the basics, Finn. Is it true that you thought you got you girlfriend pregnant via hot tub?"

Finn sighed "I have always been dubious"

"And Brittany, is it true that storks bring babies?" Ms. Holiday questioned

"I get my information from Woody Woodpecker cartoons" Brittany proudly answered.

"Well, that's all gonna end right here, right now. Because today, we are gonna get under the covers, all together" Ms. Holiday spoke

"What about those of us who choose to remain celibate?" Rachel asked, placing her arms around Florence and Quinn, who both shoved her arm of their shoulders.

"Well... I admire you, although I think you're naive and possibly frigid, I do admire your choice-

"I think this is a good time for a song" Mr. Schuester interrupted her

"Oh, yes. Okay" Ms Holiday agreed, "Rule number one, every intimate encounter that you're ever gonna have in your life is gonna start with... A touch, hit it!"

The song Ms. Holiday chose didn't go as Mr. Shuester had planned. After she sung do you want to touch me, the classroom had turned into one big dance party.

"So just remember, whenever you have sex with someone, you're having sex with everyone they've ever had sex with. And everybody got a random" Ms. Holiday warned before dismissing the students.

As Sam and Florence walked out of the room, grabbed her hand. They hadn't really told the Glee Club about them yet, only Mike knew, and when Mike knew, Tina knew.