The placid mind

Best friend?

{Hello people of this app, I'm back again. I'm going to try my best to update every Wednesday, but I won't promise anything. Anyway, if you have any suggestions, please do let me know. Enjoy :)}

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"I should kill her." Sherlock says, slightly opening his eyes.

'Kill her? No, too easy'

Sherlock realizes that without John, his life will fall apart. There will be no more reason to go on, not even his work. Before John, Sherlock kept all his emotions locked up inside him. But as his brother Mycroft always says: "Once you open your heart, you can't close it again." That is exactly what he has done. He has opened it and can't close it. It's over. 

"Are you planning to kill someone?" a voice says in the distance. Not just any voice, but John's voice. Sherlock quickly closes his eyes.

'Great now my drugdealer's identity is revealed.'

"Before you ask, Mary found you."

'Of course she did.'

He feels a soft, warm hand grabbing his wrist. Probably checking his pulse.

"You're very cold, Sherlock. How much did you take?... 7%?"

"9." he answers quickly.

John puts another hand on Sherlock's neck, making every muscle in Sherlock's body tense up.

"It's okay, just checking your pulse." he feels Sherlock relax again. 

Tears started filling John's eyes at the sight of his best friend. He quickly sits down next to him.

Sherlock his eyes are now fully open as he turns his head towards John. He looks tired, as if he hasn't slept in two days. Looking down at the creases of his shirt only confirms his hypotheses. Tears are building up in his eyes. In theory, Sherlock could reach out and give his friend a comforting hug. But in reality, he's too scared to. He has never initiated any form of physical contact, it makes him deeply uncomfortable. But at this moment, he would do anything to make him stop worrying.

"Most people talk about their feelings, you know."

"John, it surpises me that you still consider me 'most people'. I thought I made it very clear that I  am certainly not anything close to that."

"No, but you still have feelings." he says determined.

John lifted his hand, the tips of his finger lightly brushed his shoulder.

"Come home."

Sherlock looked away, considering just giving in. But he can already predict what is going to happen when they are back home. John will start spending more time with his fiance, and eventually he'll move out. Leaving Sherlock alone again. They'll have kids and be happy like normal people. Or what is considered 'normal' to society's standards.

"I have to ask you something." John says.

Sherlock just nods, not being able to force any words out of his mouth.

"You're my best friend, right?"

"I have never had a best friend." Sherlock says, with a hint of a smile on his face.

John looked at him and chuckled.

"Now you do."

There's a silence. Not an awkward one, but the perfect kind. The only sound filling the room is their breathing.

"Do you want to be my best man?"

Sherlock clenched his teeth together, not knowing what to say. He wanted to ask John where he had gotten this ridiculous idea, but it seems that maybe he would hurt his feelings with this. It clearly isn't a joke, although he hoped it was. As if his day couldn't go any worse.

The only wedding Sherlock ever went to is the one of Lestrade, and that was dreadful. He didn't even stay for the buffet. So he never thought he would ever go to one again, and certainly not John's. The thought of it makes him nauseous. He can't just say no though, it's John. He'd do anything for him, althoughthis may be overexaggerated.

"Sherlock."

He shook his head, trying to shrug of the thoughts.

"No?" John said questioningly.

Sherlock shook his head again, still not being able to talk. Suddenly he notices he has been holding his breath this whole time. He takes a deep breath and exhales through his nose.

"Are you doing alright, Sherl?"

'SHERL? WHAT'

Sherlock however, is definitely not doing alright. He feels like he's suffocating and he can't breath.

Without any sort of warning, John wraps his arms tightly around Sherlock in an attempt to calm him down. It turned out that actually helped. He has received many hugs of many different people and every time he panicked and did everything he could to break free. But this one was different, he felt at ease.

"I read an article on DPS. Erm... They said that pressure could relax the nervous system. I have always wanted to try it."

"Deep Pressure Stimulation. It's mostly used for autistic children, to filter out the unnecessary sensory input."

John nodded and tightens his grip.

"Yes." Sherlock suddenly says.

"Yes?"

He looks up at his face.

"I'll do it. I'll be your best man."

'I'll do anything in my power to make you happy.' The voice in Sherlock's head says.

He tried to give John a reassuring smile but he suddenly started to laugh, making him very confused.

"What is wrong with... with your face?" John said, laughing.

All Sherlock could do is laugh along.