A Collection of Stories

Wife, Mother, and Claudia

Only the gods will ever know why I agreed to make Miss Augusta Tinley my wife!

Indeed, I'd been at fault; developing foolish, sentimental stirrings for her during a farewell trip Mother devised was a profound example of idiocrasy! It was unintellectual of me, and for once I wished I'd heeded the council of a more prudent mind to 'analyse' my growing affectation towards Miss Tinley, who was not likely to reciprocate such feelings. Tinley smote my advances, which any woman might've killed for, with a cruel hand worthy of her. And my mother, with a heavy heart, accepted the inevitable and granted her dissolution of service as a companion and we parted ways as friendly enemies until, to Mother's delight, some mockery of fate tied us together in the cruelties of matrimony two years later.

It was a foolish thing to do, considering we neither respected nor loved one another in the way I imagined proper spouses ought. Tinley and I never got on, even as children—though I faintly remember a time when we were friends... Today, however, I, Lord Amos Ferriere, could strangle the handsome girl who barged into my study with flaring nostrils, flushed cheeks and hell in her eyes.

"Where is she?"

"Where's who?"

"Do not play games with me, sir. I know you've got her."

"Got what?"

She stamped her foot. "Claudia, you impertinent man!"

I frowned and looked at Creggs, our butler, who gave me his usual commonplace expression of disinterest before turning back to my wife.

"This Claudia is a doll of yours, I presume?"

Auggie gritted her teeth so hard, I was certain Creggs heard it from his place near the desk.

"Claudia is my rabbit!"

"Ah, yes, the rabbit... What on earth possessed you to name the creature Claudia? Nevermind that, I don't have it—her."

"You know where she is, then!"

"I do not, nor do I care where she's gone." With a shrug, I suddenly smirked. "Perhaps the hounds got ahold of her—I imagine they'd enjoy her plump bones."

She rushed across the room, ready to land a ringing slap to my face, but my mother, who somehow entered without my knowledge, caught her arm with a smooth movement.

"There will be no arguments today, children." She gave me a hard look before turning to Auggie. "Tinley, darling, why are you cross with him this time?" She raised a brow, looking between us. "Didn't we agree you'd get along this time? We shan't have yesterday's bickering drag into today—you know very well, I don't like it."

"Your son has got my rabbit and he won't tell me where she is!"

She stared at Auggie a minute before fixing me with those steady eyes. "Has he now?" She smiled, then turned back to Auggie, "I don't think he's got your bunny, darling. She'll turn up soon, I'm sure—"

"Yes, right next to your cold turkey at lunch."

Auggie freed herself from my mother's grasp and pointed a finger at me. "You are a cad, Amos Ferriere, and I've never despised anyone so much in all my days of service!"

The distance closed between us, and I lowered my voice while we stared daggers at each other.

"And you are a vexing little trial who ought to remember your place, lest I put you there."

Mother pulled her away, giving my hand an affectionate pat.

"Enough of that, you two. I'll not have my darlings at each other's throat." Her eyes brightened. "Why don't we have lunch? Food always makes a nasty situation better, I think."