A Collection of Stories

Swifty Swixville

Uncle Quick said that if we ran around the garden fifteen times, we'd find ourselves in Swifty Swixville; a place where extraordinary things happened-not to mention the fantastical things that lived in this fairytale place doing fantastical things. In Swifty Swixville, there are no bedtime curfews because the diamond shaped sun doesn't go away as it does in our world-one slept when they wished. In Swifty Swixville, there are flowers so big and so soft you and I could jump up and down on them as we would if Mum and Dad let us jump on the beds before they're made in the mornings (or before bed at least!) In Swifty Swixville, a stick of gum can take you to Peach Pink Beach where the coccuanutta trees dance to the rhythm of the crystal-clear waves and the songs of the friendly fish men who'll dive deep below to fetch you the loveliest and rarest shells and stones money can buy! Did I mention you can ride a Mahallahn sea horse with twelve of your friends if you have a pen in your pocket? It needs ink, though. But let me warn you, my friend, these seahorses don't give refunds, so listen carefully to their terms and conditions.

Oh! And by the way, bring some hair pins too-or clothes pins-in case you get hungry. One pin will secure you a five-course meal at the Chipper Dipper Fish Flipper where they make everything for everyone! Bring a bottle top if you want dessert. (Make sure it's made of recycled plastic!)

If you have carry-on, don't worry your pretty little head! Just pack a tube of minty toothpaste in your luggage and you'll get your very own travelling bundle turtle (TBT's the natives call them) to transport your burden. These trustworthy creatures with the most adorable eyes you can ever hope to see, will keep your goods safe and dry even if you plan to go swimming! (Warning: these creatures will follow you everywhere-literally!) So, if you're ready to dismiss your loyal safe when going to the toilet-they tend to stare-remove the toothpaste from the storage trunk.

P.S. We do not recommend this if your carry-on contains your great-grandma's crystals or anything fragile or of value as TBTs take dismissals personally and some are known to throw your belongings. Proceed with caution.

Love to sleep under the stars in comfort? Then visit Starlight Views on the coast where the name speaks for itself. You and your special someone will experience the ultimate glory of touching the stars as they are literally within arm's reach from the comfort of our innovative cozy deep-bowl bed. We are open every night sky (please consult your brochure upon arrival to Swifty Swixville to learn when that is) from the first one-half leaf drop to the eighth one half leaf climb. A teaspoon of jalepeño or goat pepper seeds are required upon booking. Meals are complimentary so long as guests bring their own napkins. Sandals, lipstick, and socks are prohibited. Free drinks for men with beards.

For those wishing to see Swifty Swixville from above, grab a couple of avocado seeds, and some key rings (the more the better) and join Limbo and Nimbo L'Jumps for their renown capesloth flying cruise. These charismatic brothers who were literally born in the sky! (Mrs. L'Jumps delivered her darlings while capesloth flying herself-don't worry, though, the doctor and wet nurse had gone along too!) Three avocado seeds should be enough fuel to keep your personal capesloth enthusiastic for half the day while the key rings serve as payment for the brothers (they're the most reasonably priced at only five rings per person). Refreshments are included.

If music and partying are more your forte, then Crystal Clouds is the place to be. With over one hundred drink varieties, exceptional V.I.P., two one-acre swimming pools, exquisite grill bars, an unlimited supply of complimentary seafood, in-floor speakers and private restrooms (for V.I.P. and special guests only), you can unwind and celebrate at this everyday all-day event where time literally stands still. However, we DO NOT RECOMMEND Crystal Clouds to parents or guardians who might have responsibilities that need tending to within the thirtieth leaf drop (this would be about twenty-six hours in your time zone). But for those who can enjoy themselves and themselves enjoy, visit Crystal Clouds and let the magic begin!

Perhaps you're more of a 'be alone on my own' person and not into all the hype and adventure. If so, there is something for you too in the wonderful land of Swifty Swixville. LOvely LOnlies Only is the destination for you. If art speaks to you, check out The Artists Palace on the third floor in the east wing with their bountiful art gallery. They even offer art stations with everything you need to create the masterpiece of your dreams. Want to get out and do some fishing? Then head out back to the Richer Fisher on the lake where all your boat, tackle and feed needs will be met with satisfaction guaranteed! Prefer some quiet with an abundance of books and a cozy atmosphere? Then Hush for Books' Sake Library is definitely calling out to you. With over one thousand books to keep you busy and every genre imaginable, you'll escape to your own world in no time at all. Cocoa, a variety of teas and coffee are available for your pleasure with comfortable seating arrangements, open fireplaces, and overhead skylights. You are bound to feel quite at home in Hush for Books' Sake Library. A healthy coconut is required upon entry of LOvely LOnlies Only estate. Fresh red roses are acceptable as payment.

Thanking you all in advance for visiting Swifty Swixville where "The fantastical begins and never ever ends!"

Jahshualique Solcott

Founder, Mayor, and Lead Organizer (of everything) of SwiftySwixville