Humbledore Crackfic (I'm not sorry)- Book 1

Humbledore- book 1

(There might be more if my friends and I decide to keep going with the series, only time will tell)

It was the night Harry James Potter was going to be sorted into his Hogwarts house Hufflepuff, Slytherin, Ravenclaw, or Gryffindor. Harry wanted to be in Gryffindor as his mother and father were. He was raised by a man named Sirius Black, who was Harry's godfather. Harry Potter's parents were slaughtered by a half-snake man, who wore a cheese hat. He called himself Voldy Moldy Cheese. He attempted to kill Harry but it failed and backfired, nearly killing Voldy Moldy Cheese or Lord Moldy.

When it failed it left infant Harry Potter with a cheese-shaped scar across his forehead, remarkably looking like swiss cheese. The whole wizarding world calls this miracle child the Boy who Lived the Stinky Cheese. Lord Moldy killed and tortured people in his reign as whom they all feared. On his way to the train station at nine and three-quarters, he ran with his trolley through a wall leading him to this long magical train, he glided up to the train and hopefully entered. He shortly realized that he left his pet, a snowy white owl with brown freckles across its broad chest, at the boarding dock. He sprinted to his owl's rescue, named Hedwig. The train gave a loud toot and the wheel began to turn. Harry turned back but he was too late now and he sank into a deep depression when... he saw a tall figure in the shadows and it seemed that the sunlight glowed from his sparkling beard. He gave a wide smile and touched Harry's shoulder with passion. Harry looked deep into his eyes and said,

"Er... hello sir umm I missed the train."

The man looked down upon Harry and said,

"It is alright we can apparate to the castle."

The man lifted Harry to his feet and explained how this was to work.

"Harry, boy, we will link arms tightly. You may hold me as tightly as you like ;)."

Harry, who came out as gay a few months prior, thought for a moment that the man was flirting with him. He was in disbelief. He linked arms with the tall man. They appeared inside the castle. Harry's insides felt as if they were to spill out. They were safely in a circle office with a bird with red, orange, and yellow feathers. The man rose from his chair from behind his desk and stated clearly,

"I am the headmaster, Professor Dumbledore, I am not sure if you picked up my flirting, for I am with no game, but I came out as gay a years ago. I know that you are gay as well."

Harry was quacking. He had this burning sensation in his chest and his heart was beating fast. Dumbledore leaned in and kissed Harry with passion. Harry kissed him back. Dumbledore stepped back and smiled.

"We must be getting to the feast."

Harry and Dumbledore stepped out into the hall. Harry stopped him and confined in him,

" Albus I-."

Dumbledore kissed him again.

"Albus, I don't want this in the open people will think I am dating you for protection from Lord Moldy or that I am trying to get through this school with not even lifting a finger, but I am not using you I do truly like you and you're handsome, smart, fun and everything i could ever ask for and more"

Dumbledore replied, "I understand, but at least you're not breaking up with me."

They went down to the hall. Dumbledore seated himself at the staff table and Harry was in line to be sorted into his house. He was behind a girl with bushy hair and buck teeth and this flaming red headed boy who was sweating profusely. Harry introduced himself. The girl replied,

" I am Hermione Granger."

The boy introduced himself, " Hi I am Ron Weasley."

Harry was so shocked these people didn't know who he was and his backstory. They began talking and immediately became friends. Ron was sorted into Gryffindor and Hermione was also in Gryffindor. Harry was second to last in line when he came onto the platform and could feel Dumbledore's eyes on him. They locked eyes for a split second. The sorting hat was thinking, then shouted clearly Gryffindor. Harry was so relieved and rejoiced with his new friends. The last person was a short boy with platinum blonde hair. He had a straight rude face. The sorting hat said