Humbledore Crackfic (I'm not sorry)- Book 1

Written in the Starz - Book 2 part 2

What was going through little 8th grade friends and I to make this... I love whatever crack they were on

Anyway, chat, is this real?

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My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy was all Harry ever listened to anymore, long past were the days he listened to Taylor Swift and Adele. He dyed his hair blackest black and swooped it over his fivehead and over his eye, piercings glistened on his nose, eyebrows, lips, and every body part you could get a piercing on.

Harry didn't feel feelings anymore, love was a useless emotion to him and he decided to seek out Draco to find love again. He missed his smell of rich people, his giant ego, and his lovely crusty hair.

Harry wandered, depressedly to the Malfoy mansion, head hung low, spirits and emotions even lower, "crying because you're not around" quotes from driver's license. He sat down on Dracos dolla couch and sharted on the white fabric leaving a stain. He sobbed knowing that Darco was probably dead lifeless as Dumbledore's pale and deceased wrinkly body.

Draco woke up to a unicorn licking his toe-jammed packed toes. The unicorn ran away once he realized Draco was alive, saddened that he would not be able to dismantle Draco for his dinner :(. Draco got to his feet and looked at his surroundings remembering he socked Harry in the face. Draco believed in no game no shame, so he convinced himself Harry deserved that black eye even though he had just lost his husband because of suicide but, Dracos moral was YOLO.

Draco, who wanted to smash Dumbledore cold chicken noodle soup into his 1head, only wished of killing Dumbledore, he had driven his Snapey-wapey to suicide, and now... now he and dumbledore were found together, Draco always believed he and snape's love was true, aside from him and Harry's PASSIONITE love. Draco never wanted Harry to find out about his affair with Snape even though he was having an affair with Harry on Albus. Draco's life was a mess but he thought if he was going to live he was going to live with ⭐spice ⭐💃. Draco started wandering aimlessly, like his love life, through the forest.

Harry tried to clean the shart stain off of Draco's white imported from Italy couch, but stopped himself. Why clean his couch when he wore the black eye Draco gave him? Why be in ANOTHER abusive relationship? Why not take the Dumbledore way out of this life. Harry considered, but decided before he proceeded with his plan he was going to burn Dracos 20,000 square foot mansion to the ground.

A few days later Harry set up a meeting with Lord Moldy to help him resurrect... Astoria to give Draco some hell for his inconsiderateness about him still being wed to Dumbledore and Draco hitting Harry. Lord Moldy obliged, for he still had hidden feelings for Harry.

Draco found himself sleeping in his old dormitory and who was there... Migonicgal? She was working on pouring medicine into a Hawaiian shot glass. Draco sat up coughing like he smoked a pack of cigarettes for 30 years. Mcgonagall raced over smacking Draco on the back like hitting the remote when the censor wouldn't pick up hoping to fix it.

After a few minutes Draco stopped coughing and took the medicine like it was his 21 birthday and he was 5 tequila shots in. Draco could feel the medicine working, like the 20 years aged tequila on his 21st birthday, it was potent, like tequila, and it tasted strongly, like tequila with a hint of grape, that was probably the wine he had prior to taking the shot of medicine, while he stumbled through the forest, he had taken out his fun flask that he got on his trip to England for him and Astoria's honeymoon. He had often needed to drink before seeing her face, it was a lot to comprehend, and not in a good way. Draco had a cheap wedding for him and Astoria. Why spoil the women he despised the most and only used to make his ex lover jealous. Astoria did not deserve to sit on his Italian leather couch so she sat on the cheap IKEA ottoman for quiditch Sundays.