Love Me Again

Chapter 37 - Ashley doesn't have that kind of money

Chapter 37 - Ashley doesn't have that kind of money

"Actually, the baby is fine after the surgery. But due to mood swings and not resting well, I harmed my baby," Ashley’s voice cracked. "I can't save my baby. I'm sorry."

“There’s nothing to apologize for.” Sean hugged her, whispering to her ears the words she needed to hear to free herself from the shackles known as guilt. 

She had also been afraid of telling this to anyone, and even kept it from her family because she knew if they knew it, they would not let her be the donor. They had waited for nearly a month for a volunteer donor, but there was no suitable match and her father’s condition will worsen as they continue to delay. 

Her father, who had actually aged until his immune system was not as good as before, was a piece of hard news to swallow. It also reminded her strongly that while she grew older, so did her father. 

"I'm sorry," Sean said and she just realized his body was actually shaking.

"No, no, Sean. Don't cry," she murmured and it hurt to see him crying. One of the many possibilities of Sean knowing the truth was him blaming himself. She actually hoped he would be angry instead of blaming himself for her depression and ended up killing their child.

All this while, with only herself that knew about her dead child, it was easier to trick herself to believe she had never been pregnant. But she would often dream of her baby without a clear face and kept on asking her if she loved them or not. She would always wake up screaming she loves them, but regret would never bring back the dead to life.  

“You never told me you are pregnant.” His words might sound accusing, but his tone held none of it. His lack of anger and blame eased her frazzled nerves, which Sean noticed when her body was growing relaxed.

“I actually found out I’m pregnant when I asked the doctor to diagnose whether I’m a suitable bone marrow donor or not. I was too worried about my father, and then you did not return home early… I missed the chance to tell you. Then your father appears and makes a deal with me.”

“How about when you sought me out for the divorce?”

“... I choose not to tell you, because you have another child. I had already decided to raise our child by myself.

When Ashley accepted the money and asked Sean for divorce, she was actually hoping he would finally change his attitude and fight for her to stay. But all her hope shattered when he coolly agreed to the divorce and told her he will transfer the money allotted to her from their marriage contract into her bank account. 

She was unsure if it was his way of saying as if she had married him for money, or if she was overly sensitive due to pregnancy and over imagined his words. Either way, it humiliated her, and thus, she refused the money and fly back to her hometown immediately. 

Pregnancy? Would that cold guy change because of the baby? Even if he did, she does not want him to have her stay in their cold marriage just for the baby.

"Ashley, you are much more important to me than my child that I did not know about. But that doesn't mean I don't love our child," Sean said grumpily.

“But that will force you to choose between both of your children. Strangely, no matter how angry I am towards you, I still don’t want to put you in a bad spot.” Half-truth and half-lies, but it worked to ease Sean’s mood.  

“Sorry.”

"I know better now," Ashley smiled and caressed his cheek.

"Mr. Donovan knows about your pregnancy?" Kyle asked, once again reminding them of his presence.

A little embarrassed, she tried to pull away, but Sean refused to let her escape from his arms. Thus, she could only try to ignore her current pose, and the indifferent Kyle did help alleviate her discomfort. “No.”

“Did he promise you something else if you stay away from Sean? The second time, I mean,” Kyle added. 

Discreetly wiping her tears away, she said, “... He promises to settle things with Gio for me and to pull his hands away from messing with my suppliers. If I don’t do it, I will need to pay back the two million he gave me.”

"He can have it back if he wants that so much," Sean snarled. "Like I would let you stay away from me."

"Sean, Ashley doesn't have that kind of money," Kyle pointed out.

"I will pay for it."

"No way," Ashley flatly refused.

"Then you will agree with that old man to stay away from me?" Sean asked her angrily.

Ashley shakes her head. "I can't stay away from you now." Sean immediately looked happy about it. "But he could help me to stop Gio."

"What the hell!" Sean yelled furiously. "Don't we agree that I will be helping you about Gio?"

"We did, but all you can do is stop Gio from harassing my dad's business. But not when Gio decides to use violence to ruin dad's business. If we use the normal route, I don’t know if we can count on the cops."

"How can my father help?" Sean asked harshly.

"He says he is forming a plan."

"Forming a plan?" Sean echoed in disbelief. "He only takes, what? A day at the very least, to form a plan for that scumbag with his dirty tactics! Why does he need more than a day?"

“He could have called Ashley just now to inform his plan for Gio, but changed his mind when he heard his son’s voice?” Kyle guessed. 

"He has to be planning something," Sean said with a frown. "I don't like this." 

"We can only know what he's planning if I meet him," Ashley said grimly. "I will make sure he spills them out."

“We,” Sean corrected. “I will ask him out to meet us tomorrow.”

Sean moved to the balcony, which was out of their hearing range to call his father. The conversation was surprisingly short and he came back with the good news that they will be meeting Mr. Donovan tomorrow night. But his expression was unpleasant after speaking to his father, but not until they were yelling at each other on top of their lungs.

Or else Kyle and Ashley would have heard it. Her apartment was not that good when it comes to soundproofing. 

“Is there anything else? If not, I will head to sleep now. I will be leaving early tomorrow so don’t wait for me.” With a casual wave, Kyle quickly slipped into his room, leaving them alone. He was not so tactless as in being a lightbulb and he also wanted to sound out from his lover more about Ashley’s bone marrow transplant incident. 

That time, he had not met Ashley and could disregard her. But now that he was her friend and even knew what she had lost from the bone marrow transplant, he felt a little guilty about his insensitivity. 

“Can I stay overnight?” Sean asked while his gaze demanded. 

“You can take the couch.” Even if they did have a made-up session, her heart was still rather vulnerable and she wanted some time alone to patch up her reopened wound. 

“I would rather not.” Sean walked into her bedroom, ignoring her protest. “I won’t do anything other than sleeping and hugging you.”

“But-”

“I know you want some time alone, but I don’t want to leave you alone to face your troubles again. Ashley, let me be with you.”

Towards his understanding gaze, Ashley’s initial rejection eased. She climbed onto her bed, but she only took one side of it, leaving the other side empty. 

Sean understood that was her giving in and smiled. 

Ashley did not resist when he gathered her into his arms and rested her head onto his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. They did not speak and just enjoyed each other’s presence and warmth, lulling themselves to sleep. 

That night, Ashley slept peacefully without any nightmares.