Can't Trust Summer

(12) Miserable Moments

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Javi cleared his throat as he sat with the girl well into the dark. Anna turned her head to look at him. The tears in her eyes had finally dried up and the feeling of numbness washed over her in a way that saddened her even more. A lump caught in her throat and she didn't know what to say to the boy sitting next to her. He was in the dark - literally, and mentally.

Everything in her wanted to tell him - but she couldn't find the right words to make her not sound like the bratty teenager everyone thought she was. Javi looked her over, his own wonder flowing through his mind.

She opened her mouth, to say anything, but the words just wouldn't come out.

"Anna, I really think you should go home." Javi said after a while.

"I can't." she said.

"Why?" he asked.

"It's just-" she paused.

"Just what?" he pushed.

"Nothing." she sighed, letting her weight rest against the railing.

"Anna," Javi cleared his throat a second time, "If you don't tell me what's going on... then I'm calling your dad and telling him where you are. He's worried about you and it's way too late for either of us to be out of here."

"You wouldn't!" Anna glared at him in the dark.

"I'm worried about you too," he said, "So yes... I would."

"If you do that I'll never talk to you again." she threatened.

"That's fine - if it meant you were okay." Javi answered, "So either you tell me what's going on so I can help or I'm calling your dad. I don't want to make this ultimatum but whatever you're going through, you need help so that it doesn't eat you alive."

She contemplated her chances. Was it really worth her telling him or him calling her dad? Either way, nothing was going to go well for her - so it really came down to which was her better option.

"Please don't call him," she huffed, "It's just - Linda, she..."

"She what?" he encouraged.

"She's not my mom..." the tears threatened to swelter again and she tried her best to hold them back.

"Your mom passed away right?" Javi listened.

"Yeah," Anna said, "and Linda just keeps making me miss her even more."

"What do you mean?" The patience Javi had with her amazed her. If the roles had been reversed, Anna would have never been as caring or patient - most days she couldn't. She had a one track mind and it made it hard to focus on things outside of herself.

Anna felt miserable thinking about all the things Linda was changing in her life. She wished she could turn back time and make things different. She wished she could bring back her mother - or change the circumstances of the accident. She wished it had been anyone but her...

"Linda is changing every memory I have of her. The house, the experiences, the moments..." Anna choked the words out, "She painted her office... changed the arrangement of many rooms, took my dad from me..."

"Was there something important about the office?" Javi asked.

"My mom used to draw lines just next to the door frame for my height every year on my birthday. The last one was from when I was sixteen." Anna smiled as she thought about standing there with her back against the wall as her mother used a permanent marker to draw a thick line that marked her height.