P R O L O G U E 2
Disappointment is not as a simple feeling you felt because your friend can't attend your birthday party but instead it is a feeling of dismay to your loved ones who promised to give you a present but in the end they didn't because your celebration already cost them much.
I can't help but stare at my report card last year where all of my disappointments came from. The reason why I can't continue pursuing my passion. Why, I can't dance in front of many people. Why, I can't dance ballet anymore.
I wish I could say that I can do it better next time but it's different because I can't do anything about it. It's already done. I'm already disappointed.
This is one of the things I hated the most. When I wish for something wholeheartedly, expecting something good but eventually it turns out to be nothing. I always think that maybe I'm not that good. That I'm not enough, not good compared to my former ballerina friends.
I want to cry, I really want to but there are no tears coming out from my eyes anymore. Maybe because I'm already used to it. I'm already used to disappointing myself. For the past few months, I used to think that I'm good. That I can do beyond my own perspectives but I think I just didn't do my best. Kulang pa. Kulang pa upang mapatunayan ko ang sarili ko, not for other people but for my own.
I painfully sighed as I remembered all of my memories last year. I once again stared at my report card before I opened the last box of my cabinet just beside my bed and put my report card at the bottom, to prevent me from seeing it, again.
From sitting, I stood up and walked towards the glass doors of my veranda and opened it along with its curtains and went outside. I walked near the railings and leaned on it.
The vast view of tall green trees welcomed my eyes. I saw different colored flowers just recently blooming with different kinds. I even saw my favorite daisies that my parents personally planted in our little park just in front of our mansion beside the angel spitting a water fountain.
It's already 9:00 A.M when I just had my breakfast and finished my school work and opened my old things from my former school and saw my old report card. The report card which reminds me of my failure as a student.
I was in an oblivion when I heard multiple knocks coming from the door of my room. Sandaling natahimik ang tao sa likod ng pintuan but not long after I heard one of our maids calling me.
"Yes, Linita?" , I answered waiting for her to tell me what she wants or someone wants from me.
I heard her stuttering indicating that she's nervous. "A-ano-Ma'am, may naghahanap po kasi sa inyo. Kailangan po kayo sa ibaba." I nodded my head as if she can see me.
"Be right there." I started as I dragged my feet inside of my room and closed the door and curtain of my veranda which made my room a little darker.
"Sige po." , the last phrases I heard before Linita, my personal maid's footsteps went away.
I decided to take a quick shower and wore a simple 'puff sleeve ruffle hem floral print dress' paired with my Louis Vuitton black strappy sandals. I didn't bother looking in my mirror and just went outside bringing only my phone-I'm in my own house after all. I didn't think I'd need to put my phone inside a bag.
I gracefully walked downstairs only to see my cousin-bestfriend being entertained by the maids in our living room. Haruta Antonio.
"Haru, what brought you here?" My cousin who's currently talking with the maids while eating finger foods looked at me as well as the maids which made their smiles disappear.
Napatayo ang aking pinsan galing sa pagkakaupo sa couch. She flipped her hair at the back of her right shoulder before giving me a wholesome smile that I returned.
"I just want to talk to you about your new school-" she stopped and looked at our maids-silently gesturing them to leave us that they immediately obliged before she continued.
"-because you know what nasasayangan ako sa pagiging ballerina mo. You have the potential pa naman sana na masali sa Olympics. That would've been great."
I shook my head at her as I took a seat at the single couch and same as me, she also took a seat and continued blabbering about my skills like a second mom. She even made small gestures to emphasize her point while talking to me.
"Sayang 'yon. Last year in High School muna sana! At bakit hindi ka pa sa school ko nag enrol! Maraming gwapo ron! May crush nga ako, eh!" She exclaimed. I just shook my head again before looking at her with an awkward smile plastered on my lips.
A guy with good physical features will soon fade but a guy with good values will always remain as what it is.
I stared at my cousin and shrugged before I spoke. "That's it. I just want to go to school as a normal teenager, not some kind of a former famous ballerina who was expelled because of her disappointments. I'm just a loser."
"Hoy! Gaga! Anong loser?"
I stood up and went to the television stand and turned the TV on as I heard my cousin utter her disappointments towards my parents.
"Kaya nga! Tell your mom to transfer to my school. She will approve, I know! My god, mabuti na lang hindi ganyan parents ko." I sighed and turned to her direction, the TV remote still remaining in my right hand.
"That's both my parents' decision, Haru. I'm just their child, what's the reason for me to oppose? They just want the best for me." I calmly glanced at her and smiled. She has no choice but to grimace and roll her eyes at me like I'm some kind of pathetic woman.
"Boring!" She even has the guts to raise her both hands and wave in the air. Looking like a crab. We stared at each other but not long after we both giggled.
"I love you, sis!" She ran to me and hugged me that I gave back to her but she immediately stepped backwards with the remote in her hands. "Thankies!" What a crazy little creep she is.
We talked for hours as we watched the news for today. Hinahampas pa ako ng pinsan ko when she shares their little conversation with her crush at their school's library. I don't really get why she does that. She looks like an octopus who's spreading her tint.
"So yun nga, nagbabasa ako sa library tapos may kumalabit sa braso ko, may sabi-sabi pa ako na "Ano ba?! Istorbo ka!" pero hindi ko namalayan na crush ko pala yun! Oh My God!" she begun shrieking. I looked around baka may makarinig sa amin but thankfully our maids are nowhere near us.
I just hope they'll mind their own business and avoid sticking their nose in other people's business. They're somehow gossipy most of the time and I don't really like it.
I kept listening to her banter when I got a glimpse of the current live news on the TV. Haruta's voice was replaced with a disgusting crime played.
"W-we were partying inside the house when we h-heard loud gunshots, we went out to check the area where the noise was coming from and-and t-that's when we...found 4 dead bodies of our friends." I was shocked to see the girl from the last 2 days in my current school with her friend at her back, crying. They look worn out and nervous like scaredy cats afraid to get killed.
"You're all partying in broad daylight?" said the news reporter.
Instead of answering the news reporter's question they began crying. Same as the teenagers, my age at her back. So many of them are shaking.
Katulad ko natigil din sa pagsasalita si Haru. Her mouth went agaped because of the sudden news interview from the girls and the one who was interviewed which I knew as Ms. Miller. We thought the news would end just after the interview but it did not. Instead, the camera was pointing at the dead bodies but their faces were somehow blurred.
"That's brutal! Slashed and opened stomachs, really?" Haruta exclaimed.
I can't help but feel pity because of the news. All I could think of is that the one who did that to all of them is not human but a demon lurking in a human's body.
