Her Song (Florence Pugh)

Chasing Cars

The doctor came back an hour later. This time, there is someone else with him. A woman with brown hair and a white lab coat.

"Ms. Y/L/N," he starts, closing the door behind him and the other doctor. "We've come to discuss treatment options. This is Dr. Shepherd, a world-class neurosurgeon. I've asked her to discuss the surgical option with you. Is that alright?"

I nod, swallowing my nerves. By now it's ten pm, and Florence is asleep in the chair next to me and Syd is sound asleep in the hospital bed. I'm the only one who can't seem to fall asleep.

"Would you like your partner to be awake for this?" Dr. Shepherd asks quietly, pulling up a chair to sit across from me. I glance down at Florence and I's intertwined hands and debate correcting her assumption, but ultimately just shake my head.

"No, it's alright."

"Okay, Ms. Y/L/N-"

"Y/N. You can just call me Y/N."

"Okay. Y/N," she says with a small smile, "I'm not going to lie to you. I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. This is gonna be tough. It's gonna be hell, but I'm gonna try my damnedest to get your daughter through this."

"Thank you. So," I breathe, subconsciously squeezing Flo's hand a little tighter. "What are the options?"

"First I need to explain the reason this kind of tumor is so hard to treat. The cancerous cells grow into the healthy ones, so it's impossible to remove them all with surgery."

"Does that mean surgery is off the table?"

"No, not necessarily. We could try to fight it with radiation and/or chemotherapy. But with Sydney's age...that poses some risks. In my professional opinion, I think our best move is surgery, followed by chemo. I'll perform surgery to remove as much of the tumor as possible, and then as soon as she's healed enough, we'll begin chemo treatments to get the rest of the cancerous cells."

I take a deep breath and swallow my hesitation. "Then that's what we'll do. I trust your judgment, Dr. Shepherd."

"Okay. I'll come back tomorrow with our head pediatric surgeon. Until then, try and get some rest." She gives me a small smile and stands up. The neurologist follows her out of the room and closes the door without saying a word.

I breathe deeply and fail to keep the tears from falling. I don't know what I'll do if I lose Syd.

~

I wake up to a bright light shining in my eyes. I groan, blinking to adjust to the sunlight piercing through the windows. I check my phone. 6am. The sun is just now rising. I'm not sure how long I slept, but it couldn't have been more than a couple of hours.

Sure enough, Flo and Syd are still sound asleep. I quietly stand up, but Florence stirs anyway. "Where are you going?" she asks groggily, rubbing her eyes.

"I was just gonna go to the bathroom," I say, pointing to the bathroom attached to the room.

"Oh. Ok. I'm gonna go get us some actual food. I can't stand this hospital crap," she grumbles, standing up.

"Okay," I laugh lightly. "Thank you, Flo."

"It's nothing. Will you be alright?"

"Yeah. I'll see you soon."

"See you soon," she promised with a wink before leaving the room.

FLORENCE'S POV:

I walk through the hospital with my head down, hoping for Syd and Y/N's sake that I don't get recognized.

As I walk down the busy streets of New York towards a small bakery, I decide I should probably call my manager and let him know why I fell off the face of the Earth.

It rings a few times before he picks up. "Hello?"

"Hey, George, it's Florence."

"Yes, I know, I have caller ID. Mind telling me why you canceled on Vogue? That photoshoot was a big deal, Florence. You can just walk away from something like that."

"I know it was a big deal but I had something personal I needed to do. Which brings me to my next point...I don't think I'll be available to work for a while."

He—understandably—sighs in frustration. "And why is that? I'm gonna need an actual explanation."

"My...friend's daughter is in the hospital. She has brain cancer. I need to be there for them."

He remains silent for a moment. "Is this the same friend you haven't stopped talking about?"

"George, it's complicated."

"I know. I know, and I understand that. Your life is yours and you can do with it what you want, but just be careful, Florence. We can't deal with the PR nightmare of you being spotted in a hospital getting cozy with a random woman."

"She's not a random woman," I snap defensively.

"You're right, I'm sorry. But you get my point. Just be careful. And you can't avoid work entirely. You may have to come in a few times."

I sigh, knowing that's as good as it will get. "Okay, fine. I have to go. Thank you, George."

We exchange our goodbyes and I head into the bakery to get some food.

When I get back to the hospital, I expect Y/N to be sitting in the hospital room. But she's not. When I reach Syd's room, she's pacing outside with her hands on her head, tears streaming down her face.

I rush over to her and put the bag and coffee on the ground. "Y/N, darling, what's wrong? What happened?" She stumbles over her words, panting heavy breaths. I notice the blinds and door to the room are closed.

I cup her face in my hands and force her to stop pacing. "Look at me. Y/N, look at me. What happened?"

"Syd- she's having a seizure. They're trying to stop it," she chokes out. My heart skips a beat and my stomach fills with dread. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. I can't fix this. I can't do anything to help. So I just hold her in my arms and pray to any deity that might be out there to please, save this little girl.

Y/N'S POV:

Florence sways me back in forth in her arms and, surprisingly, it helps calm me down a little bit. I listen to her steady, fast heartbeat and small whispers of sweet words.

After a few more minutes that felt like an eternity and a half, the nurses leave the room. Dr. Shepherd comes out and approaches us with a somber expression. I turn to face her, but Flo still keeps a hand on the small of my back.

"It took longer than I'd like, but we gave her diazepam to stop the seizure. She's asleep for now, but she'll probably wake up in an hour or less. Let a nurse know when she's awake, and I will be back. Okay?"

I nod in understanding and Dr. Shepherd soothingly rubs my arm as she walks away. "Are you ready to go in?" Flo asks. I grab her hand and nod, walking into the room. Pulling a chair up to the side of the bed, I sit down and grab Syd's hand, sniffling. Florence is still standing beside the chair, holding my other hand, so I pull her down to sit on my lap.

I rest my head against her shoulder. Our hands are still joined, resting in Flo's lap. "I can't believe this is happening," I mumble.

"I know it's hard, but we can do this. She's a fighter. And we'll keep her safe, okay?"

The words ring familiar in my mind and I chuckle lightly. "She's our little Satanist."

a/n: did i scare any Grey's fans with the title? 😏