Rainbow Eyes

A Journey to Friendship

It's been about a 3 weeks since I decided to accept a FwB agreement with a guy i've had a crush on for over a year. You might ask yourself how it came to this. Well.. let's start at the very beginning.

About a year and a half ago, I was still a university student back then, I was looking through an online dating app - not really trying to meet anyone tho; it was simple boredom - when i matched with a guy who was just my type. I decided to message him first and we talked for a bit. After a while he suggested to meet up, but i was very shy back then and didn't have the courage to meet someone I didn't know;  especially not someone I was attracted to.

He didn't seem to be very patient and told me this wasn't working since I obviously didn't want to meet him. It was very frustrating but I decided not to pursue the young man any further.

I messaged him on his birthday about 5 months later, he said thank you but the conversation didn't get any further so we both continued to go our separate ways..

..until half a year later when i spontaneously decided to message him again. I am aware that this whole thing seems to be very one-sided so far but I just couldn't let him go. There was something about this man that just fascinated me.

I don't know if you believe in signs or destiny, but the day I sent that message, something happened that I couldn't explain to myself without using one of those words. Some people might've said it was pure chance but to me it was fate.

Only a few hours after I had sent the text - on my way home from work - I saw a handsome young man on my tram. I thought that maybe i was imagining it because I had just tried to reach out to him again after a long time of silence, but after brief consideration I was sure that it was in fact him.

A normal person would've probably just gone up to him and said hello, but not me. I was too scared that he wouldn't remember me and it would become awkward very quickly.

He never answered my text, which would be an indicator to stop trying for most people. And I thought I'd do the same until I saw him again shortly after. I thought to myself.. maybe I should try ONE LAST TIME.. so i won't wonder what could've happened if I did.

So i asked him about the tram situation to verify that it was in fact him that I have now seen multiple times while he still had no clue to what i looked like in real life since we had never met in person.

From that message on we started chatting on a regular basis. We also played online games together. Until one day he sent me an in-game message, asking if I had to work the following day. I said I didn't which he responded to with a suggestion.

This was the second time he asked me to meet him in person. Considering the fact that I didn't want the situation to end like last time, I gathered some courage and agreed to meet him.. at this very moment. 

We decided to meet up about 15 minutes later, which was no problem since we turned out to be neighbours. We met right in front of my house. He sent a message a few minutes before to say he was running a bit late. I was getting nervous because I had waited for this moment to happen for about a year. And then he was there. In human form. He was taller than I had expected. I was wearing platform boots and was still shorter than him. All my nervousness and panic was gone the second we made contact. His presence had this immediate calming effect on me that I had never felt with anyone ever before.

His friendliness blew me away immediately. For some reason I had expected him to be cold and distant but it really felt like we had known each other for years. One of the first things he said was that he didn't expect me to speak in dialect, to which I offered to drop the dialect if it was hard to understand, but it didn't seem to bother him.

We quickly agreed to go to a close-by park. It was pretty cold and the ground was covered in snow. There wasn't a single awkward pause in our conversation. I had never felt so comfortable with a stranger. We walked for a while and I showed him an app I had on my phone that shows you where all the different planets currently are. 

Some time mid-talk he mentioned that he saw one of the videos I had posted of myself singing. According to him my english sounded cute. He also mentioned that he was very shy when singing in front of others..

I suggested that we'd go to my favourite spot there, which he agreed to. The path that leads there is kind of muddy and uneven, so you have to be careful where you place your steps. He led the way, despite not knowing where to go. ( hahaha) Every few minutes he kept looking back to check if I was alright. 

When we finally got to my favourite spot, we looked at the stars again. The whole setting was really romantic, but we had never talked about anything like that. Our relationship was very casual and friendly. We then started wondering about one of the buildings you could see from where we were standing and discussed what it could possibly be. I checked my phone to see if it was marked on Maps. While I was doing that he came closer and I suddenly felt this sense of home. I know it sounds insane, but I was lowkey fascinated. Usually I would get anxiety whenever people came too close to me but this guy was different and I didn't know what it meant.

We then made our way back to the city, made a few stops because he wanted to get food and cigs, and finally ended up back where our walk started; in front of my house. We said goodbye and he gave me a hug. 

Only a few minutes passed after I closed my apartment door behind me, when he sent a text message, which led me to believe he enjoyed it just as much as I did.

It was honestly the best first meeting I had ever had and I couldn't wait to see him again..