Wings of butterfly

Are You ready for it?

I was just trying to fall asleep, while my phone couldn't stop ringing. That was so irritating. I felt tired and just wanted to fly away somewhere, where only my dreams could comfort me and make me feel like my life is not a big mess and I'm the only one to blame.
- Hello?
- Miss Trey?
- This is she. - I sighed, hoping this conversation won't last forever so I could go back to sleep.
- Miss Trey, I'm calling from BBC. My name is Dan Foley and I just wanted to invite You for our first casting.
- Casting? I'm sorry, I actually don't know what is going on.
- You've sent us Your video and we are absolutely amazed by Your performance and voice.
- I sent You a video? - I asked, shocked and surprised.
- Ehmm..Yes?
- Can you please tell me more?
- Sure. First casting is next week, march 15th. And if you'll be accepted, you are going to blind auditions of 'The Rock Voice of Britain'.
- Oh my God, what?! - I screamed and stood up from my bed, almost falling to the floor.
- You heard me. I'm glad you're so excited. So are we going to meet up next week, Miss Trey?
I barely could say a word and think straight because I really didn't know why'd they even call me.
- Of course. - is all I could answer and let my phone fall from my shaking hand.
What just happened? How did they get my video? What video? My phone number? My name?
- Miles... - I whispered to myself and went straight to his room.
- Miles! Open the door!
- It's open, you silly. - said my 2 years older brother, as I entered his room with anger written on my face.
- Did you sent the video of me singing to BBC? - I asked, waiting impatiently for his answer.
- I did.
- Why? Are you fucking kidding me? How could you do that without even telling or asking me? What the fuck is wrong with you?
- Can you just calm the fuck down and stop screaming?! Mom is downstairs and if she hears you, our evening would be one big question mark!
- Can you just answer my question, before our mom do it?
- I've sent it to help you. You are stunning and you know that! It's a fucking waste of your time and talent to sing at Jerry's Pub. Don't you think? You can do so much better than just this.

****
Next morning, after the whole night Miles and I talking, I was sitting by the kitchen table, waiting for my breakfast to be ready.
- Are You ok honey? - my mom asked
- Yes. I'm tired. Just too long gossiping with Miles.
- Morning my ladies! - Miles was acting like he's the happiest person in the world for no reason. I never understood his persona. Always smiley, friendly and just having fun.
I was complete opposite. I mean I could have fun and even liked it, but I have more like pesimist soul.
- Mom, did you know that Evelyn is going to be a super famous rockstar?
Miles what are you doing... - I thought.
- Evelyn...what is he talking about?
- It's nothing serious mom, they just invited me to the casting. But maybe I shouldn't go there..
- Shut up! You're fucking going! - Miles screamed at me
- Hey, hey big boy! - mom looked at him with angry eyes
- Sorry...But mom! She has to go there! It's her opportunity to change her life. We all know she's unhappy since...
- Shhh! Never mention this again! Do you understand me?
- Yes mom, I didn't mean to. Evelyn I'm sorry.
All I could feel at that moment was my heart beating so fast, my cheeks burning and these fucking tears coming...again.

****
March 15th

- Are these black jeans good for the casting? And this top? Do they even match together? I don't want to look like cheap copy of an aspiring rockstar.
- You're being so dramatic Evelyn. You look fantastic! Rocky and shiny. It's perfect.
- You know I love you, Al?

Alyssa Monroe is my best friend since we're 10 years old. My parents divorced and we moved from Coventry to London. My father stayed there with his new wife. He calls me or Miles sometimes, but I don't really need it. I wish we were still family, but I know my mom couldn't forgive him his actions with other women.
- Are you ready to fucking kill this stage?
- I'm not sure... - butterflies that I felt in my stomach scared me and I was about to tell Al that I fucking don't wanna go there. But I didn't.
And here we are.

****

- Your name?
- Evelyn Trey.
- Your number is 21.
- Thank You. - I said to the young girl who gave me the number which I put on my silver top.
All I could hear was people singing and playing their instruments. I've been watching all those young boys trying to be so perfect. And the girls singing quite good. But most of them had their t-shirts with Roger Taylor face on it, crying over him being one of the judges.
Seriously? He's good looking and really talented but why did they all think he could actually give a damn about one of them?

****
- Number 21! You're on now!
When I heard it, all I wanted was just run away from this place but there came Ali...
- Are you fucking serious? Get on this fucking stage before I decide to kick your ass!

****

- Go! - that is all I heard when some guy pushed me on stage.
I felt fucking dizzy and really wanted to run away, but then I heard first notes to 'You're simply the best' and that was all.
I gave all of my heart and all of me in general in this performance. Watching all four chairs turning around to see me, got me so excited as I never felt in my life before.
- Girl! Are you even from our universe? - this really nice and famous girl asked me.
- Wow. The strong voice like yours can't be just unseen or unheard. You have really rocked us all! I want you in my team, right now!
- Wait, wait you guys. She hasn't decided yet. Roger is there anything you want to say?
- Of course! - he said. - You've just rocked my world and all I can say to you is come with me on this journey. We can show them all how great you are.
- Stop here Mr. Taylor. She is going to choose me, right? - I laughed watching the judges fighting for me to be in their teams.
- Before you make your decision, can you tell us something about yourself?

-
- Hi, I'm Evelyn Trey, born in Coventry but coming from London now.
- You look nervous. Are you ok? - Roger asked me.
- Yes I am nervous because my brother got me info this situatuon. I think I would never do that to myself.
- You were amazing sweety. - Roger said. Now you can choose where and with who you want to be.

He was so fucking charming and I really liked Queen's music. All the judges are famous and talented. I've been standing there, watching four pairs of eyes staring at me, waiting for me to decide.

- Roger I'm choosing You.

****

- Why did you choose him? - Miles asked me after we got home
- I don't know actually. He just seemed to be the one who really cared about my voice, not my hometown or all of these bullshits.
- I honestly wanted you to choose Roger because I love Queen, ya know that, but I've never believed you really do it.
- I'm also surprised I did it...there was Adele over there...But he..I don't know, just won.
- Evelyn! You're in Roger Taylor's team! Can you believe it?
I laughed seeing my brother beeing more excited about it than me. That was funny. I wasn't sure if I've made a good choice but my brother was so happy about it and that was everything.

****

Waiting for my first live show made me so anxious and all I could think was I just can't take it and that I'm gonna fail and dissapoint my brother, my mom, Al...and myself. My dream would be buried alive and I'd stay without any hope. But what's made me do it was I had nothing to lose. NOTHING.