Wings of butterfly

Don't stop me now.

- I need to speak with him right now! Roger! Where are you?
I opened my eyes and realized what we are doing.
- Roger...someone's looking for you. - I said but he seemed to be in another world kissing my neck and giving me love bites. - Roger, do you hear me? Stop. - I pushed him and saw his hazy eyes full of desire.
- Don't stop me now. - He said - Come back here.
- Are you out of your mind? This woman is on her way to find you. She can't see us.
- It's Claire. She calls herself my girlfriend.
- She calls herself? Wait...you have a girlfriend and you just wanted to sleep with another woman?
- She is not my girlfriend. I never gave her my permission to be the one. We just hang out sometimes. Casual sex.
- Wow. Just wow. - I said and took my purse from the chair and headed to the door.
- I can't be your another casual sex so can we please forget about it and be professional?
- I'm always professional. It's only between us two. Besides...nothing happened. You didn't let me.
- Almost did. I think I lost my mind for a few minutes...
- It's ok. You just couldn't keep yourself away from me. You all can't. Nothing new.
- What do you mean we all? I'm not them all! I don't care about the others. I'm me. And I've crossed the line for fuck's sake!
- Shhh! Stop yelling. We need to get out of here...unnoticed.
- Go talk to your girl...friend or whatever. As you said. Nothing happened. We can go and tell them we've been practicing.
- On the sofa? Have you even seen yourself in the mirror? Your hair is messy and your cheeks...- He licked his lips. - Hmm they're fucking sexy. So rosy and hot. - He touched my face and took a few steps forward me. - Anyway...if we go now, they all will know what we were doing here.
- Do I look that bad? - I asked more myself than him. - Christ.. what am I suppose to do now?
- You look more beautiful than before we got here. And I thought it's impossible, so maybe we can close the door and stay a bit longer? They won't find us.
- Please don't do this.
- I see how hard you're fighting to push me, but you want me. Face the truth baby.
- I need to get out. I need some fresh air. Please, can we go?
He laughed seeing me acting like that. He was right. I wanted him. But I couldn't. Evelyn get out of this place! Away from him, before you do something really bad.
I looked out of the door. It was clear. I could go. But I didn't. What the hell am I doing?
- Why aren't you going? You're free.
I froze. Just standing there and looking at him. Suddenly he came a bit closer.
- See? You don't really wanna go.
- I don't know what's wrong with me... - I said and kissed him deeply one last time.

                                ****

- Where have you been? - My brother was waitng for me in the kitchen.
- At the studio. You know that.
- You're lying.
- What's your problem Miles?
- They all got home 3 hours ago!
- I'm adult and you are not my mom.
- Is everything alright? You look weird.
- It's ok. I'm tired. Just want to take a shower and go to bed. Please, leave me alone.
                               ****

After I took a shower, I went straight to my bed. He was on my mind this whole time. His eyes. His lips. The way he was looking at me...touching me. I couldn't get those thoughts out of my head. I felt his smell. His warm breath.
- What have you done...- I covered my face with my hands and started crying like a little girl.
A few minutes later I got a message. 
- Where the fuck is my phone? - I hissed but found it seconds later in my jacket.

'You know we can continue our conversation anytime? R.'
I felt my heart beating faster.
'You know It's better not to?'
'Better for who?'
'For both of us.'
'I don't think so baby.'
'You can't call me baby and acting like everything is ok! Stop doing this.'
'I can't.'
'We have to work together. This is the only path we share. Forget about it. Please.'
'Never.'

                              ****
- Evelyn It's your turn now. - Roger said but didn't look at me. Not even for a second. He was avoiding my eyes like he was scared or ashamed.
- No! No no no! - He screamed and finally looked at me. - What are you doing? Are you distracted by something? Or maybe someone? Do you want them to leave us alone?
- No. They can stay. I'm good. Can I start again? - I knew what was on his mind. He wanted us to stay alone and continue our 'conversation'. No. I won't let it happen.
- You sure?
- Yes. I'm ready to sing. Forgive me my temporary indisposition. I'll do better this time.
Our practicing ended 2 hours later. I took my stuff and ran away as fast as I could. I was right before the last door when he showed up out of nowhere.
- Why are you avoiding me?
- I'm not. Just need to go home. - I opened the door and wanted to go but he put his hand on the door handle so I was blocked.
- Can you excuse me? I really have to go.
- I just want to talk.
- I thought we've discussed it yesterday. We're good now. Ok?
- No. It's not ok. I can't stop thinking about you for fuck's sake!
- You must be kidding me right now...
- I'm not. I couldn't sleep. You're on my mind and I fancy you. Don't you think it's an honor? - He said and winked at me.
- An honor? Roger...keep your ego in your pocket. You're not a God.
- My ego is alright. The problem is with yours. Stop acting like a spoiled princess. Is it that hard for you to let yourself be a bit wilder? We can have really good time. I'm not here to ask you to marry me. Let's just have fun.
- Let's hook up. This is what you mean by having a good time, Roger.
- This too.
- So...you want something else from me?
- I want you to go with me on some kind of a...date?
- A date? But this girl...
- I don't care about her and ended things with her this morning.
- Roger...I really do want to be a part of this show. Going on dates with you can ruin my chance.
- We can keep it quiet.
- How? You're famous! The paparazzi are everywhere. It just can't work.
- Be there at 8. - He gave me a small paper and kissed my cheek. - Please. Be there!
- I will...

                                ****
- Can we go somewhere and have a booze? - Alyssa called me and practically begged me to go with her.
- Al...not tonight. Sorry.
- What the fuck is more important on friday evening than a little hang out with bestie?
- I...ehm. Just have some other plans.
- Details please! Are you going to have some shag? - she laughed
- Well...
- Holy fuck! Spit it out! I'm dying to know more!
- I don't know actually and probably I'm making a huge mistake but it's so exciting..it's Roger. He invited me. Well...We kissed a few times and I think we both want more. - I felt my face getting on fire as I only mentioned his name. Butterflies in my stomach made me sure how much I really want to get more from him. More of him.
- Roger? Hey...you mean Roger the judge? The one from Queen?
- Yeah... - I whispered
- Oh my fucking God! Oh my fucking God! You're dating this sex machine?
I giggled as she called Roger a sex machine.
- Dating...No. I mean our first date is tonight. That's why I can't go out with you hun.
- Say no more. A good friend always understands when her bestie got an opurtunity to bang. Especially when it's with Roger fucking Taylor. - she squealed and I laughed again. Louder this time.

                               ****

I just left a cab and tried not to panic as I saw this huge, luxurious mansion.
Been looking for a door bell when the gate opened.
- Come in baby. - I heard and closed my eyes hearing Roger calling me baby. I couldn't move. - Do you want me to come and get you?
- I'm coming! - and finally took a first step to the beautiful Roger's house. The gate closed behind me and then I knew I'm stuck here. There's no way out. There's no turning back.

- Wow..you look fucking beautiful.
- Thank you...
- You're blushing and it's making you even more beautiful.
- Roger stop... - I couldn't look him in the eye. He made me so nervous.
He laughed seeing my embarassment but then he put his hand on mine.
- Look at me Evelyn.
And when I did...I saw his amazing blue eyes staring at me. - Why are you being so shy? You're hot as hell. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. Just stating the fact.
- But it makes me feel un.. - I didn't finish. He pulled me closer to his body and kissed so passionately I barely could breathe easy. My heart almost stopped beating and then started to beat faster. My head was spinning around as I put my fingers through his blonde hair.
- I want you so bad. - He whispered to my lips and pushed me on the couch. I've been watching him taking off his shirt. He was so sexy and at this moment I knew that I couldn't stop him or stop myself.
- Oh my God... - I said and touched his muscular torso.
- I know. - He winked. - it's all yours tonight.
- I'm taking it. - I grabbed his belt and pulled him closer.
- Not so shy anymore. I like this side of yours, baby.
- Stop talking you sexy beast and touch me before I change my mind!
- You wouldn't do that. You're all in already. - He pressed his lips to mine and put his one hand on my cheek and the other on my butt. I gassped and let out a quiet moan when I felt his hand squeezing my bum. The temperature in the room was so high and all we could hear was our crazy, uneven breaths.
I wanted him. I couldn't wait any longer so I started unbuttoning his pants with my shaking hand.
This is really happening. Am I going to regret it? Is this really worth to risk my chance in the show?
All I knew back then was I couldn't stop touching him. He was like a drug. Once you taste it you're always back for more...